Next to Me: A James and Lily FanFic
by rachelle8
Summary: This FanFic tells the love story of Lily and James Potter during the Marauders Era. Learn how James and Lily fell in love; discover how Lily and Severus's friendship fell apart. I originally began posting this story in 2015 but have recently re-written and updated it.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Welcome, readers! This is my first FanFic, and I've spent loads of time creating my story. I originally posted this story in 2015, but have recently felt the writing bug again and have gone back through and edited and slightly changed some of the plot. I think the story is stronger and more interesting now. Thank you to all who give it a try, I appreciate it! This FanFic tells the love story of Lily and James Potter during the Marauders Era. I will do my best to post at LEAST once weekly. Feel free to leave comments, reviews or suggestions! I hope you enjoy the first chapter.

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Chapter 1

September 12th

 **Lily**

"Seriously Remus, I don't even know how you can stand to be friends with him," I growl to my fellow Head student. I walk angrily down the dark corridor, several feet ahead of Remus, who strides casually behind me.

"He's honestly not that bad, Lily, if you'd just give him a chance—"

"You can't honestly believe I'd ever give _James Potter_ a _chance_ , Remus, after all of the disgusting pranks he's pulled, after all the times he's cat-called me in the hallway," I yell back at him, sending him a glare. "And what was his excuse this time? He and Sirius are very, very familiar with the school rules— that, I'm certain of, as they've broken nearly every single one of them. Yet, we caught them out of bed again, and it's only the second week of term!" I sneer, though relishing in the fact that I got to give Potter another detention.

"Dunno, Lily. I mean, were they really doing anyone any harm…?" Remus shrugs, finally catching up to me as we reach the Gryffindor common room.

"You're impossible, Remus." I glare at him again, my arms folded across my chest.

"You know they're my best friends, Lily— it's not that I approve of them wandering the halls at one in the morning, but—"

"It's starting to sound an awful lot like you _do_ approve, Remus," I say, rolling me eyes, and turning away from him as I head up to the girls' dormitories.

x

x

x

x

 **James**

"Lily's fuming over you and Sirius roaming the halls after hours again," Remus tells us as he dons his pajamas after returning from rounds.

"Was she? Did she turn that adorable shade of pink, like she always does when she's angry at me? I ask, smiling as I picture Lily in my mind. Remus throws a pillow at me and makes a face as he climbs into his bed.

"You know, my life would be so much more peaceful with less of her complaining about you and Sirius," Remus says. "Do you ever think about that?"

"Do I ever stop and think of ways I could make your life more peaceful?" I ask. "Nope, I have to say I don't," I snicker.

"You're just hilarious, James," Remus says, mid-yawn.

x

x

x

x

 **Lily**

Heading into the dormitory I share with four other Gryffindor girls, I accidentally slam the door harder than I mean to.

"Oi! Lily! It's past midnight, you know," yells my best friend, Marlene McKinnon from her bed.

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to make so much noise," I whisper-yell back.

"What's got your wand in a knot?" Marlene asks, rolling over to look at me.

"Just—"

"Wait, wait, no— let me guess. Is it James Potter?" she asks.

"As a matter of fact—"

"Wow, how ever did I guess?" she says, her sarcasm overly apparent, as she rolls her eyes and falls back onto her pillow.

"I'll have you know, he and Sirius—"

"Were out of bed, causing a ruckus, and you were forced to give them both detentions?" Marlene interrupts.

"Well, yes, as a matter of fact, that's exactly what happened."

"You do realize that Potter sneaks out every time you and Remus are on rounds solely for the purpose of running into you?" Alice Abrams, one of our other roommates, and another one of my best friends, speaks up.

"Why would he purposely try and get detention?" I cry, exasperated at the mere thought.

"He doesn't care what happens, as long as he's getting attention from you!" Alice shouts back. "Seriously, Lily, I don't know when you're going to realize that the two of you are meant to be."

I blush fiercely, thankful that the room is almost pitch black. "That's rubbish," I mutter, finally climbing into my bed.

"Rubbish or not, you know it's true!" Marlene says before we all fall asleep for the night.

The next morning, a surprisingly sunny Sunday, I try my best to wake up before the rest of my friends do, eager to get down to the Great Hall for breakfast before anyone else does. Lately, that's the only way I'm able to eat my breakfast and read the Daily Profit in peace anymore. Ever since Frank Longbottom, another Gryffindor and friend of Remus, Sirius, and James, started dating Alice, our two friend groups had gradually become more and more friendly with one another. This, of course, was highly irritating, as Remus and Frank were the only ones I could stand to be around for more than two minutes.

After running a brush through my hair, I don a casual weekend outfit— a pair of faded jeans and a red sweater— and head downstairs to the Common Room. Fast asleep in one of the deep, comfy arm chairs by the fireplace, is none other than James Potter, who awakens with a jolt as I stride through the room, humming.

"Evans?" he asks, groggily.

"Ugh, not you," I groan, making my way to the door as fast as possible.

"Hey— wait, are you going to breakfast?" he calls, jumping up from the arm chair and following me out.

"Potter, I wanted to eat my breakfast in peace, can't you leave me alone?" I beg, quickening my pace as I make my way down the hallway.

"I won't make a sound, I'll be extremely peaceful," he says, quickly catching up to me. I roll my eyes, but say nothing more as the memory of what Alice and Marlene said last night is still fresh in my mind.

We reach the Great Hall, and James sits across the table from me, still not uttering a word. I glare at him as I reach for a fresh bagel and a small bowl of oatmeal. He smiles back at me, piling an assortment of breakfast foods onto his plate- some eggs, some sausage, three slices of toast, a bowl of cereal, half a bagel, roasted potatoes, and more. My lip curls in disgust.

"How can you possibly stomach all of that so early in the morning?" I ask.

"Shhh, Evans. We're supposed to be having a peaceful breakfast, here," he says, stuffing a forkful of potatoes in his mouth with a smile. His hazel eyes look almost green in the morning sun. I quickly chastise myself for bothering to notice his eyes, and concentrate on buttering my bagel. I don't look up again until I hear a rush of wings, accompanied by a choir of chirps and hoots. The post arrives, and a tawny owl swoops down next to me with this morning's addition of the Daily Profit attached to its leg. I pay the bird, and after taking a bite of stray toast off the table, it leaves. Only moments after opening the paper, my own owl, a gorgeous, curious barn owl arrives, sitting down on the table beside me.

"Athena, what are you doing here?" I ask, running my hand down her white and tan feathered back. She merely hoots in response, lifting up her leg to offer me the letter attached. I untie it, and she, too, helps herself to some breakfast.

"She's beautiful," James comments, nodding toward my owl.

"Thanks," I mutter, opening the letter. It's from my parents. I grab the remnants of my bagel, my hand shaking. "I've got to go— bye," I say to James hurriedly, and rush out of the Great Hall to read my letter in private.

 _"Lily,_

 _Dad's just finished another round of testing. It's not looking well, but we won't know for sure what's wrong for another week or so. I'll send you a letter back as soon as we find anything out. Dad says not to worry about him, and to keep your thoughts on your studies. We hope you are doing well, and that school is going okay._

 _With love,_

 _Mum and Dad"_

For a moment, I don't react at all. "It's not looking well", mum says. Tears begin to burn in the back of my eyes, and my throat immediately starts to close up. I know in the pit of my stomach that my worst fear is about to become reality— the cancer is back; mum and dad know it as well, but they don't want me to stress out. I speed walk down the hall until I find an empty classroom. I fall into an empty desk, and silent tears trickle out of my eyes.

After my tears are finished, and I'm satisfied that I don't look as if I've been crying, I finally brave the hallway once more. I walk briskly back to the Great Hall, my eyes flickering over the array of students now eating breakfast. When I finally see him, I half walk, half run toward him. The Slytherin table meets me with several sneers and indiscernible shouts, all of which I ignore. When I finally get to Severus, I grab his shoulder, saying nothing. As soon as he sees that it's me, he rises from the table, greeting me silently with his eyes.

"Look, it's Snape's Mudblood girlfriend," Lucious Malfoy sneers in his deep drone of a voice.

"Shut up," Severus mutters, casting a glance back at his friends. "I'll be right back," he mutters, although it doesn't look like anyone is listening, before following me back out of the Great Hall.


	2. Chapter 2

**_A/N:_** I just couldn't wait to post chapter 2, so here it is! I hope you enjoy, and please leave any comments or feedback that you have so far.

* * *

 ** _Chapter 2_**

 **Lily**

I grab Severus' wrist and guide him back to the same empty classroom. My tears fill with eyes before we even reach the room, just thinking about what I'm about to tell him.

"What is it?" Severus sort of snaps at me.

"I got a letter from my mum this morning," I say softly, my voice starting to quiver. Severus immediately notices something is wrong, and gently grabs my arm to make me face him.

"What's wrong? Is it about your dad?" he asks. He's the only person here at Hogwarts who I've told about the possibility of my dad being sick again. Not even Alice or Marlene know.

"She says it's not looking well," I reply, immediately bursting into tears.

"Lily," Severus says, taking his hand off of my arm and pulling me into a hug. "I'm so sorry, don't cry— please, don't cry," he murmurs as he tightens his grip around me.

We stand for a few minutes, his arms still wrapped around me, until my tears stop.

x

x

x

x

 **James**

A few minutes after Lily leaves, Sirius, Remus, and Peter arrive at the Great Hall and join me at the Gryffindor table. As soon as they've filled their plates, I make an announcement.

"I've got a plan," I say.

"And what might that be," says Remus, sniggering.

"It's a devious plan of sorts," I begin. "I'm going to make Lily stop hating me, and then trick her into realizing she's mad for me," I say, grinning at them.

"And how exactly are you going to do that?" Peter asks.

"Well, that's all that I've got planned so far. Just the general plan itself. Gotta work out the exact details," I mumble, looking shamefully at my empty plate, and reaching for another helping of scrambled eggs.

"Sounds like a winning plan," says Remus, laughing at me.

"Hey! I think you're brilliant mate," Sirius says, clasping his hand over my shoulder. "You'll win her over some day," he says, encouragingly.

"Thanks, Padfoot," I reply sheepishly.

A few minutes later, a flash of bright red catches my eye. My eyes dart to the side and focus on Lily as she reenters the Great Hall. Instead of heading back to the Gryffindor table, however, she darts towards Slytherin. I don't have to keep watching to know where she's headed. She places her hand on Snape's shoulder and my blood immediately begins to boil as I'm filled with jealousy and, moreover, annoyance. I clench my teeth together in anger, and stab a piece of sausage a bit too hard with my fork.

"Oi! Careful there, mate, the thing's already dead," Sirius says, noticing my sausage brutality.

"Lily just walked out of here with Snape," I say.

"Follow them?" Sirius suggests. "Got your cloak on you?" he asks, referring to my invisibility cloak.

"In my pocket," I reply, reaching for it immediately.

"Hey, just a word of advice, mate— if you want Lily to start _liking_ you— hell, if you want Lily to start _tolerating_ you, I don't think spying on her underneath your invisibility cloak is the way to go about doing it. She'd absolutely pulverize you if she ever found out," Remus points out. I ignore him, of course, and I hastily leave the table and walk quickly out of the Great Hall so as to catch up to Lily and Snape before they disappear.

I make it through the wide doors of the Great Hall just in time to see Lily and Snape disappear into a classroom further down the hall. Fiery jealousy rips through me once more, imagining the absolute worst of what they could be doing alone in an empty classroom together. Before whipping my invisibility cloak around my shoulders and over my head, I glance around to check for any other nearby students, and head straight for the classroom. They've left the door open just a crack. I peek in. Their backs are facing the door, so I slip inside, gently returning the door to its previous position. I grimace as Severus puts his hand on Lily's arm, and my heart leaps when I see her tear stained face and puffy, red eyes.

"What's wrong? Is it about your dad?" I hear Snape say, his voice as I've never heard it before— an octave higher than usual, coupled with concern and sincerity.

"She says it's not looking well," whimpers Lily whose voice also sounds nothing like I've ever heard it before; she bursts into tears and my heart wrenches beneath my chest.

"Lily," Severus says, his voice still soft, "I'm so sorry, don't cry— please, don't cry," he says, hugging Lily close to him. My entire body is on fire, and I want nothing more than to throw my cloak off, hex the living daylights out of Snape, and take Lily into my own arms to comfort her properly.

They leave a few minutes later, and I wait a few minutes longer before stuffing my cloak back into my pocket and leaving the classroom. What was Lily so upset about? What is wrong with her father? Surely nothing so serious that Muggle doctors, or even Lily herself couldn't fix it?

x

x

x

x

 **Lily**

Although it's a Saturday, and probably one of the last decent days we'll have before winter takes over, I spend the entire day up in my dormitory, in bed with my favorite fuzzy blanket wrapped around me. I can hear shouts, squeals, and laughter form outside through the cracked open window. I don't even leave the warm sanctuary that is my bed at lunchtime. I try to read, try to do homework— but I can't concentrate on anything. I know my mind won't settle until I hear the final verdict from my mum.

Around 3:00 o'clock, Alice comes up to check on me. "Lily? Are you alright? Why've you been up here all day— we've all been having a blast outside, you should've joined us," she says.

"I'm not feeling well is all, Alice. I think I'm coming down with something," I say, knowing my bloodshot eyes and pink cheeks will help make my tale more convincing.

"Everyone was asking where you were— James, in particular. He asked Marlene and I at least a half dozen times if we knew of anything that might be bothering you, and why you weren't outside with us," she tells me with a suggestive smile on her face.

I roll my eyes. "Guess he didn't know what to do with himself, not having me there to harass," I say.

"If you say so," Alice says. "Are you coming down for dinner?" she asks.

"Maybe— I guess so," I say, though I know I'll hardly be able to eat a thing with the nervous knot in my stomach taking up so much room.

"Well, we'll see you at dinner, then," she says. With a wave, she exits the room and heads back outside to join our friends.

x

x

x

x

 **James**

"Oi! Marlene, Alice" I call, running up to Lily's friends.

"What?" Marlene replies, flipping her nearly black, wavy hair over her shoulder as she turns to face me.  
"Where's Lily?" I ask, out of breath.

"Dunno, why?" Marlene replies.

"Well, why isn't she out here with everyone?" I ask. "Nearly the whole school's outside enjoying the weather. She wasn't even at lunch."

"She's probably inside finishing some assignment due three weeks from now," jokes Marlene.

"I just saw her up in the dormitory, she's just in bed, said she thought she was coming down with something" Alice speaks up.

"So… Nothing else is wrong with her?" I ask. "Nothing's bothering her?"  
"Not that we're aware of… Why? What do you know?" Marlene says, narrowing her eyebrows.

"Nothing. Just… Making sure," I say, and turn away from them, heading towards the tree that Remus, Peter, and Sirius are sitting under. I join them at the base of the trunk, still annoyed about seeing Severus with Lily this morning, who I'm now even more worried about.  
"What do you say we find Snivellus and treat him with a few good hexes?" I ask my friends.

"Sounds bloody brilliant, I'm bored as hell," replies Sirius, grinning at me.

"You're just going to get in trouble," Remus says, looking severely annoyed.

"Well, you can stay here then," I say, rising off the ground. Sirius and Peter follow my lead, and we head towards the Slytherin's usual spot on the grounds. We find Snape and his usual crowd of dummy Slytherins right away.

"There he is, hanging out with Malfoy and Avery and their lot," sneers Sirius beside me.

"They're all future Death Eaters," I say, my lip curling in disgust.

"And there are my lovely cousins," Sirius says as he spots Bellatrix and Narcissa Black.

"Lovely, they can all be here for the show," I reply, giving Sirius a grin.

"Oi! Snape!" I yell as we get closer.

"Why are you so slimy?" says Sirius.

"Didn't your mum ever teach you how to bathe properly," I sneer, raising my wand. "Levicorpus!" I yell, and Snape immediately flies into the air, dangling by his leg.

"Put me down!" He yells, flailing and grasping at his pockets to try and find his wand. His group of friends just watch, some of them laughing with one another about the sight of Snape flailing around in the air. No one bothers to help him or fight back. I shoot a few more hexes at him, until something sharp hits me in the back of the head. I fall face forward onto the ground, groaning. I hear a loud thud as Snape's body hits the ground a ew feet in front of me. "What the bloody fuc—" I start.

"Potter! What do you think you are doing?" a familiar voice yells behind me.

"Evans!" I cry, sitting up and smiling up at Lily. "Lovely to see you."  
"What is wrong with you, Potter? And you, Black? You'll be lucky if I give you a month's worth of detentions for this!" she screams. Her eyes are still red, like they were this morning.

"Lily," Snape sneers, rising off the ground. "I don't need the help of a— of a filthy Mudblood—" he yells, his voice growing louder with each word; he glances back at his friends as the words leave his mouth. Lily gasps, a look of horror on her face.

"Sev—" she starts.

"How dare you, you disgusting, slimy git—" I interrupt, and then hit Snape with another hex. Sirius, still beside me, does the same. I look over my shoulder for Lily, but she's gone.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

 **Lily**

I don't even bother to hide my tears as I dash away from James, Sirius, Severus, and the group of Slytherins. I can hear Lucious Malfoy and Bellatrix Black chortling with laughter as I run through the field and back towards the castle. Luckily, no one is inside to see the tears gushing down my cheeks on my way back to the Gryffindor common room.

Severus has always been friends with all of the high and mighty Pureblood Slytherins whose families dominate the Wizarding world. When he's not with me, they are his closest friends. For the past few months, he's begun to grow more and more attached to the lot of them, even blowing me off or acting embarrassed to be seen with me. But I never would have expected him to say something so awful to me— especially as my father rests hundreds of miles away from me, battling with his own body for his life. Never once have I ever heard him mention my blood status— or anyone's blood status, for that matter. I've known him since I was ten years old, and he's always known that I came from a muggle family— a muggle family who embraced and welcomed him with kindness. None of this makes sense; my heart is full of anger and confusion.

I reach my room, out of breath and gasping for air as I battle feelings of both anguish and anger. My chest feels cold and my lungs feel like rocks— I work to catch my breath, but I can't calm myself down. I feel betrayed by the person I thought was my best friend— the person I go to for everything. The person who turned my entire life around when he introduced me to a new world— a world with magic in it, where I could finally feel free and open with the powers that had confused me throughout my entire childhood. The person who was more like a sibling to me than my own sister. I pause for a moment, having heard the footsteps of people behind me as I entered the Gryffindor common room, and quickly try and decide how to avoid being bombarded by my friends. The one place to best avoided talking face-to-face with anyone right now is, without a doubt, in the shower of the girl's lavatory. I could escape to the Prefect's bathroom, but I would definitely run into someone on the way there. I grab my bag of toiletries and slip quickly into the Gryffindor girl's bathroom instead, stepping into a steaming hot shower stall. After standing for a few moments under the burning, piercing water, I sink to the corner of the shower, pulling my knees up to my chest. Tears fall freely from my eyes and are instantly washed away by the stream of water above me. Only moments later do my friends finally find me.

"Lily? Lily, are you in here?" I hear Marlene's voice echo throughout the large bathroom.

"Y-yes," I call, forcing my vocal chords to work.

"Lily, what are you doing? Are you okay?" Alice calls out.

"I'm fine," I yell back, anger pulsing throughout my body.

"Are you sure? Lily, we saw what happened— we heard the whole thing— that disgusting, greasy, slime-bag— how dare he have the nerve to call you a—"

"I said, _I'm fine_ ," I interrupt Marlene, possibly yelling a bit too loudly, wishing that they would just leave me alone to cry.

"Lily—" Marlene starts. Alice cuts her off, whispering something in a hushed voice. "Well, okay, we'll leave you alone, I guess," Marlene says. "We'll be in the common room, okay?"

"Yeah," I call out, sighing with relief. I chose the right hiding spot.

I sit in the tiny shower stall for a long time— I don't even know how long. I cry until I can't find any more tears. I sob uncontrollably, eventually calm myself down, and then sob uncontrollably again. My chest feels as if it is on fire— as if my heart is going to burst with sadness. Every emotion I have been suppressing all morning finally explodes out of me. I picture the worst possible scenarios— first, my father dying, then Severus never speaking to me again, then transition to picture my father's funeral, then go back to Severus, seeing him join Lucious Malfoy in taunting me, and always back to my father, knowing that he is dying and that Muggle medicine cannot save him. After I'm done crying, I lay my head against my knees and let the water, which has run for so long that it is now tepid, pound against my shoulders. I try and control my breathing and try to make the painful, cold feeling in my chest go away. When it doesn't, I turn off the water, dry off, and slip into my bathrobe. All I want is to put on my warmest pair of pajamas and crawl back into bed. This day feels like it has been going on forever. Much to my disappointment, I see that it is only 5:30. Dinner is just being served— and no one is going to leave me alone long enough for me to be able to fall asleep.

I return to my room, which is thankfully empty. I choose a soft pair of sweat pants and a tight, long-sleeved sweater. I pull on some fuzzy socks and slip into my favorite pair of slippers. After brushing through my snarled wet hair and assuring myself that I look normal and put together, I head downstairs to the Common Room, where I know my friends will be waiting for me. I know I have to face them now, rather than wait and face them later. I need to just get it over with. I feel numb and hollow inside, as if the tears that just exited my body have created a big hole in the center of my chest.

x

x

x

x

 **James**

After waiting for Lily in the Gryffindor Common Room for nearly two hours, she finally comes down the stairs. I stand immediately as she enters, and am at once amazed at how put together she looks— her wet hair is beginning to curl at the ends, and her cheeks are slightly flushed, but as she walks towards Marlene, Alice, Remus, and I, she looks composed as ever.

"Lily—" I start— but I am, for once, at a loss of words. Her big, green eyes meet mine, and my heart flutters.

No one quite knows what to say— whether to address the events of earlier this afternoon, or not. For a moment, we all just stare at one another, until Remus speaks up.

"Well, it's dinner time," he says, breaking the silence.

"Right," I speak up. "I'm… I'm starved," I say, trying to act as if everything is normal.

"Me, too," Lily says softly, even though I can tell she's lying.

As we near the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall, I shove in front of Marlene and Alice to be able to sit next to Lily— who, for once, does not object to me being so close to her. She merely glances in my direction, too tired and beat down to say something snarky to me. I give her a small smile, and she immediately looks away. I can smell her still-damp hair, and spend much of the first few minutes of dinner trying to identify the amazing smell radiating off of her. One moment she smells like vanilla, but the next like mint, and sometimes like lavender.

Throughout dinner, no one mentions Snape. Marlene and Alice try to engage Lily in a confusing discussion about purses and shopping at the next Hogsmeade visit, and Remus tries to further distract her by asking her a question about their Head Boy and Girl duties that he surely already knows the answer to. Lily fills her plate with food— a generous helping of mashed potatoes, a warm buttered roll, and some chicken and artichoke French, but just plays with her fork, taking only a few bites here and there. As we leave the Great Hall, I turn to look toward the Slytherin table— I immediately spot Snape, who is looking directly at us, with a gaze sharp enough to kill a bunny. It takes all of my strength not to go after him again, to make him pay for what he said to Lily.

After dinner, we return to the Common Room, taking up all of the comfiest couches and arm chairs in front of one of the large fireplaces. Lily stays silent almost the entire night. When Marlene and Alice retreat to bed, followed shortly after by Sirius, Peter, Remus, and Frank, only Lily and I remain, both sitting in oversized armchairs, separated by a large red couch. Lily has pulled out a muggle book and reads intently, not once glancing in my direction. I'm not even sure she knows I'm still there. Even though the fire is burning, she has a thick blanket pulled around her legs. Her cheeks are flushed, and her air-dried hair has turned thick and wavy, falling long past her shoulders. I watch her for a few minutes, trying to uncover the pattern by which she twirls her hair through her fingers as she concentrates on the words in front of her. I long to reach over and run my own hand through her long, silky-looking red hair. Instead, I make the mistake of trying to talk to her.

"Erm, Lily," I start, moving from my warm arm chair to the end of the couch closest to her.

"What do you want, Potter?" she mutters, clearly annoyed that I've interrupted her. Or, possibly just annoyed that it is me, of all people, who is interrupting her.

"I, uh, overheard you earlier this morning. You know, at breakfast, when you were speaking with Snape," I continue hesitantly. She stuffs a bookmark into her book, and snaps it shut.

"You— you what?" She says angrily, narrowing her eyes fiercely at me.

"I just— I overheard what you were telling him— about your da—"

"You _overheard_ us?" she snaps, her cheeks flushing even darker red. "What do you mean you _overheard_ us, _Potter,"_ she sneers. "We were in a private classroom— having a private discussion!"

"I know— I'm sorry— I just, I saw you go off with him and-"

"And though you'd be a nosy git and follow us to eavesdrop?" she exclaims, sitting up in the arm chair, nearly dropping her book.

"I didn't mean—" I try desperately to save myself. Unsurprisingly, Remus was correct— Lily's just a tad bit pissed that I spied on her and Snape.

"I don't want to hear it! And I don't want to talk about it— with anyone, and especially not you!" she cries, looking close to tears.

"Lily, I'm sorry— I only wanted to make sure you were okay," I say quickly, hoping she'll believe me.

"Potter, you're a nosy git and you need to learn to mind your own bloody business!" she turns, starting to walk away from me. I grab her wrist and pull her back towards me, and as she turns to face me once more, I see a tear fall down her cheek.

"I'm sorry, Lily," I repeat, loosening my grip around her wrist, moving my other hand up to gently touch her shoulder.

"Don't— touch— me," she snarls, jerking away from me. "Stay out of my business, Potter," she tries to yell, but her voice cracks as she turns away from me once again, this time successfully escaping up the staircase of the girl's dormitories.

"Well, fuck," I mutter, banging my fist against my forehead.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: I have a quick chapter for you this week! Enjoy!

* * *

 **Chapter 4**

 _September 13th_

 **Lily**

I'm thankful when I wake up the next morning that it's a Monday and I have a full day of classes to keep my friends from asking any more questions, as well as keep my mind of my father and Severus. Since my course load is greater than any of my friends, I wake up earlier than most of Gryffindor tower, and am able to avoid everyone until midday.

"Hey, Lily," Remus says as he sits down next to me in Potions. Remus, Frank, Alice, and surprisingly enough, James, and I are the only ones who have continued on to NEWT level Potions with Professor Slughorn. Luckily, James is stuck working with a group of Ravenclaw students due to an odd number of students in the class.

"Hey," I reply, digging through my bag for my Potions text book.

"You remember you have detention duty tonight?" he says casually, tossing his own textbook down on the table in front of us.

"Oh, yeah," I mutter in disappointment. "I'd forgotten."

"It's just you and James tonight, at least," Remus says, trying a bit too hard to make the scenario sound like a positive one. "You'll be able to get some homework done."

" _Just_ me and James? I'd rather have to deal with the entire Slytherin house," I snap back at him.

"Well, maybe he won't be too much trouble tonight," Remus shrugs.

"I highly doubt that," I say, glaring across the room at James' back. "Won't you switch with me? I'll cover for you on Tuesday _and_ Thursday," I beg.

"Er— I have a really big paper due firs thing tomorrow morning, Lil. Otherwise you know I would. But you know James will just distract me the entire time."

I roll my eyes, slump into my seat, and ignore Remus' excuses, too emotionally exhausted to even attempt to argue with him.

x

x

x

x

 **James**

"Don't bug her all night, mate, please— or I'll never hear the end of it. I already had to lie to her about having a paper due," Remus says as I walk out of our dormitory on my way to detention with Lily. I roll my eyes and turn around to face him.

"Come off it, Moony. I'm not going to bug her all night."

"Well, sometimes you seem to be unaware that you're actually pissing her off, and I don't think today is—"

"Moony— I'm not daft, I'm completely aware she's upset. We all witnessed what Snape said to her. I'm not going to bug her all night." I repeat sternly; I'm the only other person who knows that there's more the story contributing to Lily's mood. And I would never intentionally make her even more upset than she already is. I accidentally slam the door to our dormitory shut on my way down the stairs.

When I finally get to the empty detention classroom, Lily is already there waiting for me.

"You're late," she says, giving me a look as I walk in.

"Right— sorry," I mutter, throwing down a few loose pieces of parchment, my quill, and a battered copy of 'The History of Giants'. I sit down in an empty desk, and stare at Lily for a few moments, expecting her to say something more. When she doesn't, I let out a loud sigh and crack open my book. Only a half hour into detention, I slam the book down and let out an even deeper sigh, followed by a groan as I bend down and let my head hit the desk.

"What on earth is the matter with you, now, Potter?" Lily says in a monotone sigh.

"Giants," I mutter.

"What?" she asks in confusion, giving me a look.

"Giants," I say, sitting back up. "I slept through our exam on giants last week, and Binns is having me take a makeup test tomorrow morning. I'm completely behind— I can't even get the damn giants' names straight."

"We've been talking about the history of the giants for almost a month now, Potter," Lily says. "How can you possibly be confused?" she asks in disbelief.

"How could I not be? Binns' droning puts me to sleep nearly every class," I exclaim. "You're probably the only one who _isn't_ completely lost— well, except for maybe Remus."

"It's really quite simple, there isn't much to their more recent history, considering they live so long," Lily says, ignoring my comment. She stands up and walks towards me, sitting in the desk beside me. "Let me see your quill," she says, practically tearing it out of my hand. She neatly begins to draw out a timeline across one of my sheets of parchment. On another sheet, she begins a list of giant names- all of which sound exactly the same to me.

"How do you even keep all of this straight?" I ask, in sheer awe of her perfection as she writes out a study guide for me.

"Well… I find it interesting. When I'm stuck at home all summer with no one from…. well, from our world to talk to, I get a head start on my reading for the year," she says.

"There are no other witches and wizards in your town?" I ask.

"None that I'm aware of— other than Severus…." she murmurs. "And if there are, it's not as if my parents would know what they really were."

"Right. I guess not."

A few minutes of silence go by as Lily finishes writing. "All right. So, here's the start of the first known colony of giants— believed to be controlled by the Alpha giant, or the Gurg, Klangen," Lily began, pointing out the information she had jotted down with the end of my quill, explaining the significance of every little detail. Rather than following along on the parchment, I stare at her lips as she gives me the full history of the giants through the early 1900's.

"Does everything make sense, now?" she asks as she finishes her recitation of an entire month's worth of information from class.

"Surprisingly, yes," I say. "You know, I find intelligence to be particularly attractive," I continue, my lips curling into a smile.

Lily rolls her eyes and shoves her notes onto my desk. "And here I thought you were finally reaching maturation, Potter.. But as usual, you can't go twenty minutes without trying— and failing— to flirt with me." She begins to stand up and return to her desk at the front of the room, and I place my hand on top of hers.

"No— Lily, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to—" I stammer. "I just meant— well, I meant to thank you. You know, for helping me." Her gaze softens, and she purses her lips, making me yearn to kiss them. "Would you maybe consider tutoring me?" I ask. Her gaze quickly returns to a stern one, her eyebrows furrowing.

"You want _me_ ," she starts, pointing to herself, _"_ to tutor _you_?" she finishes, turning her finger to point at me.

"Well…. Yeah." I reply sheepishly. She looks me in the eyes for a few moments until her gaze finally softens again.

"Fine. But only if you promise to quit harassing me and not to flirt with me every chance you get."

I smile. "As you wish."

Without even planning for it, step one of my plan to win over Lily is in action.


	5. Chapter 5

_A/N:_ Thank you to all who have gotten this far in my story! I really appreciate you taking the time to read my writing and I would love to hear any comments, feedback, or suggestions you might have. This chapter is the longest so far so I hope you enjoy! You also finally get to see Lily and James becoming closer. I would also like to add for this chapter specifically, and for some upcoming chapters, that I am not a medical professional. There may be some error to the muggle medical information described here, but I did my best to make it accurate and easy to understand based on my personal experiences. Once again, enjoy :) ~Rachelle8

* * *

 **Chapter 5**

 _October 14th_

 **Lily**

 _"It's been just over a month since mum wrote me to tell me about dad's cancer. And it's been just over a month since I've heard from my family at all— no one has sent me any updates about dad— not even a quick owl to check in on me. It's been just over a month since Severus destroyed years and years of friendship with just one word. And, it's been just over a month since I started tutoring James Potter. Somehow, in all of my anguish over my father and Severus, tutoring James has been the one bright spot in my life. I never would have expected that James Potter— the annoying boy who continuously pestered me for years since the day we met— would end up being the person I would go to to to unwind and de-stress. I never in a million years would have thought that James and I would become friends._

 _My father's sickness is still a secret to all of my other friends. Only James and Severus know about it. Not that I've brought it up with James again. And, of course, definitely not to Severus, who I haven't so much as made eye contact with in the past few weeks. I keep telling myself that no news is good news— that maybe the silence from my family just means that the testing hasn't been conclusive enough yet. That maybe things are going well— so well that they just haven't had time to write me back. And then at night, as I lay in bed, awake with my thoughts, I tell myself that no news means the worst news— that the silence is due to the progression of the cancer taking over my parent's lives._

 _On top of worrying about my father, I'm still upset about the abrupt end to Severus and I's friendship. I miss him nearly every day. I miss having someone to talk to— someone that has seen my family firsthand and knows what I'm going through. Someone who already knows every detail about me, who I don't have to tell my story to. Talking to Severus was different than talking to Marlene or Alice— he just always seemed to understand where I was coming from. And there was no daily drama about boys or deep discussions about silly things that don't matter to me. But, at the same time, I feel stupid for missing him. Every time I think of something I want to tell him, I remember what he called me. I remember the person he's become. The past couple years I've been battling with Severus over his newfound friendships with some of the Slytherin house's more deplorable students. But I never thought he'd stoop down to their level like that. I never thought he cared at all that I'm muggle born. It feels as if our entire friendship was a complete lie._

 _Tutoring James has turned into just…. Being with James. Almost every night after everyone else has gone to bed, we'll just…. hang out. Sometimes we'll end up playing Wizard's chess. Sometimes I'll tell him about muggle movies, or he'll tell me about the strange things of his childhood that are normal to all other Wizarding children. Last night I compared the house elves who tidy up the common room to Cinderella— and he had no idea what I was talking about. He told me something about a wizard tale about three witches called_ _Asha, Altheda, Amata, and I couldn't even keep up with him. Sometimes we talk about nothing, and sometimes we argue about anything and everything. And sometimes, I just sit beside him in front of the fireplace and read a book. He's not even remotely as repulsive as I imagined him to be all these years. His company is actually more enjoyable than that of my very best friends— whose main concerns are shopping and gossiping and boys. Both Marlene and Alice seem to be blind to what has been going on in the Wizarding world, as well as what has been going on with me. Although, of course both of them have been pestering me nonstop about how much I've been spending time with James—"_

As I write his name in my journal, James comes up behind me in the Common Room.

"Hey, Lils," he says casually, pulling out the chair beside me and joining me. He has a stack of homework with him, even though I know we probably won't discuss schoolwork at all. He smiles warmly at me, and I smile back, quickly closing my journal. He glances down at my journal, a thick turquoise-green leather-bound book that can only be opened with the tap of my wand.

"Whatcha got there?" he asks, a playful smile dancing across his lips.

"Nothing," I say, pushing my journal away and blushing.

"Writing about all of your deepest, darkest secrets?"

"Of course," I retort sarcastically.

"It's almost full— you must have a lot of secrets to fill up an entire book full of them."

"Well, it's almost an entire year's worth of secrets, now. I've been keeping journals since I was five years old. Er, Severus… He got this one for me. Last Christmas," I say, my smile turning into a frown. I look down at the floor, then back up at James.

"Hey, don't even think about that nasty, greasy, bloody—"

"I get the point," I say, placing my hand on his forearm to stop him, giggling.

Just then, we hear a tapping noise against one of the tall windows of the Common Room. I look around before I see what is causing the noise— I'm surprised to see my own owl, Athena, carrying a letter around her ankle. I stand up with a start, almost knocking my chair down as I rise. James follows me over to the window and helps me open it. I know immediately by the lilac purple envelope that it is a letter from my sister.

x

x

x

x

 **James**

Lily tears the letter from her owl's frail ankle, nearly taking off the poor creature's leg. Her hands are shaking, and she stares at the purple paper for a minute, then looks up at me, her beautiful green eyes wide.

"Do… Do you want me to leave you alone?" I ask. It takes her several long seconds to reply, but finally, she tells me no. I stare at her face, her eyebrows furrowed in concern, as she carefully opens the envelope. As she reads, her chin trembles, and I know that at any second, she is going to begin to cry. I feel completely lost and helpless— I have absolutely no idea how to react. Do I comfort her? If I comfort her, will she shut me out, or open up to me? Accept a hug from me, or hex me?

A minute later, Lily shakily sets the tri-folded purple parchment down on the table next to us and covers her face with her hands.

"Lily?" I whisper, reaching my hand out to touch her, but then stopping myself. "Lily… What is it?" Her entire body is trembling, and I'm certain she's crying behind her small, dainty hands. Without thinking, I wrap my arms around her body, hugging her tightly to my chest. Being several inches shorter than me, her head fits perfectly under my chin. I hold her with one hand, and stroke her hair with the other. Her hair is just as silky, soft, and smooth as I have always imagined it would be. After a few minutes, I let go of her, and try to tip her chin towards me.

"Lily, will you tell me what's happened?" I ask softly. "Can I… Can I read…?" She shakes her head yes, continuing to keep her face covered by her hands. I grab the letter off the table and quickly read it.

 _"Lily,_

 _Mother has asked me write you. I don't know how this stupid owl will ever get to you, but assuming it does, mother would like me to inform you of the following:_

 _Father's cancer is back, and it is worse than the last time. They've begun both chemotherapy and radiation again, and he's scheduled for an operation on the twenty third of December. Mother has asked me to tell you that it will be too much trouble to have you come home for Christmas this year, seeing as we will all be busy and in and out of the hospital the entire holiday. Mother will write you soon to give you more information about dad. She apologizes for forgetting about writing to you. In other news, Vernon has proposed, and I have accepted. You should see the ring, it's just gorgeous. The center stone is an entire carat. After father's surgery in December, I'll be moving into Vernon's flat with him. I trust you'll leave my side of the bedroom alone when you return for the Summer, as I'll have to leave a few things behind. We're thinking of having the wedding in June or July. I've asked Julia to be my maid of honor, and Abigail and cousin Margaret to be my bridesmaids._

 _I hope you are doing well at your little school and keeping up with your freakish studies. But of course you're keeping up with your studies, now, aren't you? Perfect Lily would never disappoint mummy and daddy. Have a good holiday._

 _—Petunia"_

I drop the letter back on to the table and take Lily back into my arms as awe, disbelief, and anger pour over me. I hold her for what seems like hours as her body shudders, and she cries silently into her hands. After a while, not knowing what else to do, I summon a box of tissues from across the room and let go of Lily. I gently pull her hands away from her eyes, and she looks down at the floor, tears still falling from her flushed cheeks. My heart lurches as I see her distraught face, and I begin to panic— I have no idea what the fuck I'm supposed to do to comfort her. I cup one of her cheeks in my hand and wipe away her tears with my thumb. With my other hand, I grab a few tissues and offer them to her. She silently wipes away her tears and looks up at me. Only seconds later, her face crumples, and she erupts with tears once more.

"Lily, Lily, please don't cry, love," I whisper, guiding her over to the nearest oversized armchair, sitting her down, and kneeling by her side. Many tears and several tissues later, Lily dries her tears and stops crying. She slides down to join me on the floor, leaning against the armchair. Her dark green eyes are bloodshot, and her eyes and cheeks are puffy and red.

"Oh, please don't look at me, I'm a terrible mess," she whispers hoarsely, pulling her knees up to her chest, and burying her face.

"Actually, you're still remarkably beautiful," I murmur, placing a finger under her chin and gently forcing her head back up to face me. "Your sister is a bloody bitch," I say sheepishly. She smiles and sniffles, nodding her head softly.

"She hates me. And she hates our mum and dad for… for favoring me, I suppose. I think she kind of blames them for… for me being, well, a witch."

"Blames them for you being a witch?" I ask.

"We used to be so close— until around the time I turned nine and started showing my powers. Of course, mum and dad didn't know what exactly I was until Sev… And after the day Petunia and I met Severus, she would never look at me the same." Her eyebrows furrow again, and for a second, I think she's about to cry again. "And now she's using dad's sickness to try and convince mum that I'm just a nuisance— she wants mum and dad to hate me as much as she does," she says, her voice raising, and her chin shaking. Her voice rises, "And of course she's selfish enough to plan her own wedding as dad is going through treatment— and of course she felt the need to point out that I wouldn't be included in her wedding party. Or included in the family at all while dad is in the hospital," she finishes, her voice cracking as she mentions her father again.

"Lily, don't cry again," I say softly, leaning towards her. "I hate to see you cry."

"I'm sorry," she whispers.

"Don't apologize," I say, taking one of her hands in between mine. I stroke the skin of her hand with my finger tips, reveling in how soft it is.

"Can I ask you something?" I say after a few minutes of silence.

"Hmm?" Lily murmurs, gazing at me.

"You can yell at me if I shouldn't ask— you can hit me, or even hex me if you want," I offer.

"What is it, James?" Lily asks, sounding moderately exasperated.

"Just… Cancer. What exactly is it?" I ask hesitantly.

"I forgot that witches and wizards don't get cancer," she replies quietly. "It's a bit confusing. Cancer is pretty much when the cells in your body begin to multiply and grow when they're not supposed to and eventually create abnormal cells. My dad has a type of cancer called Lymphoma, where the abnormal cells start growing in your lymph nodes. Except his started spreading throughout other parts of his body, too."

I can only nod. She was right— it was confusing. "So… It's really bad?" I ask cluelessly.

"Yeah. It's bad. Worse than last time," she whispers, her chin trembling.

"He was sick before?" I ask.

"Yeah. He was first diagnosed when I was eight. He went into remission just a few months before I got my Hogwarts letter. Of course, the doctors always warned us that it might come back."

"I just want to go home," she says quietly. "I just want to see my dad and talk to my mum. I can't believe they don't want me to come home for Christmas."

"What if, maybe…" I begin to second-guess myself for posing this question. "Would Petunia lie to you about it? Maybe you should write your mum?"

"Last time dad was sick… It was horrible. Mum was a wreck. I know she didn't do it on purpose, but she completely secluded herself from Petunia and I. She didn't want to talk to anyone. She cried all the time, always worrying that the treatment wasn't working." She pauses. "Even though she was a bitch about it, Petunia was probably doing me a favor by writing to me herself. If she had waited for mum to do it, who knows how long she would have put it off. I can't even imagine what kind of state she's in now."

"Are you close with your mum and dad?" I ask, wondering if their relationship is similar to that of mine and my own parents'.

"I've always gotten along well with mum. But it's my dad I'm really close to. We're nearly the same person— he's the smartest person I've ever met in my life. We both love reading. He got me into reading when I was just a kid and I haven't stopped since. He would read to me from his huge, thick novels every night before bed, and I loved every minute of it. We always have something to talk about together. And I think he's always been proud of me— you know, for being a witch," as Lily talks about her dad, her lips form into a hesitant smile. A few seconds later, that small smile turns back into a look of despair.

"He's going to die, James," she whispers, her voice barely discernible. Fresh droplets fall from the corners of her eyes and down her cheeks. My heart lurches, seeing her in so much pain.

"Don't say that, Lily— you don't know that," I say, raising my voice. But, does she know? I don't know nearly as much about this cancer as she does. Is there really nothing the muggle doctors can do for Mr. Evans?

After a few minutes of silence, I speak up again. "Is there anything I can do, Lily?"

"Not really," she whispers, shrugging her shoulders.

"Do Marlene or Alice or anyone else know about this?" I ask.

"No. The only other person at Hogwarts who knows my dad is sick is Severus," she tells me.

I nod. "I hope you know you can talk to me about it whenever you want— I'm always here for you, Lily. Always. Any time of day."

Her lips perk up, and the smile I've been waiting to see returns. "Thanks, James."

I stand up, and pull Lily's hand, forcing her out of her chair. "You should get to bed, it's already 2 a.m.," I say.

She nods, and starts to turn toward the dormitory staircases. She pauses for a second, then turns back around to face me. Tentatively taking a step forward, Lily wraps her arms around my middle. My eyes widen in surprise, but I immediately wrap my arms around her in return. I'll take every available opportunity to hold Lily. A few seconds later, she lets go and takes a step away from me.

"Really, James. Thanks," she says, and turns back around and heads up the staircase to the girls' dormitories.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: So sorry that it's taken me so long to post this next chapter! I have been super busy with schoolwork at uni. I'm also sorry that this is such a short chapter, but I promise chapter 7 will be much longer. I hope you enjoy and please feel free to leave me any comments or suggestions! ~Rachelle8

* * *

 **Chapter 6**

 _October 15th_

 **Lily**

The next morning, Saturday, I wake up with a surprising feeling of cheeriness overpowering me. And a few seconds later, I remember the letter I got from Petunia last night, and the cheery feeling washes away in an instant. I lay in bed for a few minutes longer, coaching myself in order to get up and try and have a productive, tear-less day. After a long, hot shower, I absentmindedly don the first pieces of clothing I find in my dresser. When I notice the time, I nearly gasp— it's past ten o'clock— I'm usually up and finished with breakfast by now.

I'm surprised to find the Common Room deserted— that is, deserted other than the one and only James Potter.

"James?" I say, upon discovering him as I walk down the flight of stairs from the girls' dormitories. He turns away from the always-lit fire to face me and smiles.

"Hey, Lily. You're up late," he comments.

"Yeah," I mutter. "Where is everyone else?"

"Don't you remember? It's a Hogsmeade weekend. That, and there was a pretty big announcement made at breakfast this morning."

"Announcement?"

"Come down with me and see for yourself," James says, grinning. I roll my eyes, though only minimally annoyed— of course he won't just tell me himself.

We head through the portrait hole and begin to make our way down to the Great Hall.

"So why aren't you in Hogsmeade?" I ask, glancing up at James beside me.

"Erm… Well, honestly, I was worried that you hadn't come down for breakfast. I wanted to see you when you got up… To make sure you were okay. You know, after last night," he says, looking down at me with a genuinely concerned expression on his face. I nod, avoiding his gaze.

"So… Are you? Okay, I mean?" he asks.

I shrug. "I'm… fine."

James and I are both silent until we reach the Great Hall, which is nearly deserted. Professor Sprout and Professor Slughorn sit at the head table. A few first and second years sit in small packs throughout each of the house tables. And, much to my dismay, Severus is sitting at the Slytherin table, his nose stuffed in "Advanced Potion Making", with a quill in his hand. As James and I walk through the expansive doorway, Severus looks up and notices us immediately. I stop in my tracks, but then feel a gentle grasp at my elbow. I look up at James, who is looking down at me.

"Ignore him. He won't bother you here," he says sternly, and guides me to a spot at the Gryffindor table. I help myself to some potatoes and fruit, and James helps himself to sausages and potatoes.

"Haven't you already eaten?" I ask.

"Second breakfast," James replies with his mouth already full of sausage. I can't help but laugh.

"So, what do you think? Are you excited?" James says a few minutes later, his plate nearly empty.

"Excited for what?" I ask, confusion in my voice as I try to figure out what I have to be excited about.

"The masquerade," James replies, as if that will clarify anything.

"What are you talking about?" I ask, setting down my fork.

"Lily, are you blind? Have you seriously not noticed all of the bright purple banners hanging up everywhere?" James asks, smirking.

I look up, and sure enough, the decorations in the Great Hall have changed drastically overnight. Black and purple roses in dark vases are sitting throughout the hall, and large, purple-adorned banners with huge letters reading "HALLOWEEN MASQUERADE: Halloween night at midnight; fifth through seventh years only. Costumes required." are hung on every wall.

"Really? A costume party at Hogwarts?" I comment with disbelief.

"Yep. Sounds potentially enjoyable, eh? Plus, no little kids."

I shrug. "So I guess that's why everyone is in Hogsmeade, then? To find costumes."

"Yeah," James agrees. "We could still go, you know. There's still time to find something to wear."

I shrug again. "That's okay. I don't know if I'll go."

"What? You have to go. It won't be the same without you," James presses, setting down his fork to give me a stern look.

More shrugging.

"Come on, Lils. Maybe this is just what you need to cheer you up a bit. All of your friends will be there, and it'll be a blast," James says gently.

"I'll think about it," I agree.

James and I spend the rest of the afternoon in the Common Room doing homework. At least, I do homework— I'm not really sure if James actually is. Around 4:00 o'clock, students start returning from Hogsmeade. The Common Room becomes so full of fifth, sixth, and seventh year students showing off newly purchased costumes, and first, second, third, and fourth years exclaiming over how unfair it is that they don't get to go to the masquerade, that I quickly give up on homework and close the textbook I've been studying for the past half hour.

"Doesn't this make you want to go to to the party?" James asks, surveying the students around us. "It's almost like being a kid again. Having a reason to get to dress up for Halloween," he adds.

"I always loved Halloween when I was little. Petunia always wanted to dress up as something pretty— like an angel or a ballerina. But I always wanted to be something scary. Coincidentally, I dressed up as a witch at least three or four times," I reply, smiling at the memories.

"LILLYYYY!" James and I are interrupted by the loud squealing of my name. Startled, I jump slightly and look up to see our friends coming through the portrait hole.

"Lily! Alice and I have a surprise for you!" squeals Marlene, thrusting a shopping bag into my lap.

"What? You guys didn't have to get me anything," I say, both confused and surprised.

"Just open it!" cries Marlene, grinning at me.

I open the bag and remove the wrapping to find what, at first glance, appears to be a delicate, sparkling Venetian mask. When I pull it out of the bag, I realize it is a Venetian mask— with cat ears on top. The black mask is covered in orange and silver sparkles, and ties on in the back. Also sitting in the bottom of the bag is what appears to be a long, winding cat tail.

"A… Cat mask?" I clarify, looking up at Alice and Marlene.

"For the masquerade party on Halloween! We knew you weren't in Hogsmeade, and when we saw it, we knew you had to have it," Alice replies.

"Do you love it?!" squeals Marlene. "We got you orange to match your hair!"

I grin, because I kind of actually do love it. "Yeah, I do," I say, standing up to give my best friends a hug.

"Thank you guys," I say as I wrap my arms around them; I'm thanking them for the mask, but mostly for reminding me what great, supportive, loving friends I have.


	7. Chapter 7

**_Chapter 7_**

 _October 31_

 **Lily**

No one gets much of anything done during classes on Halloween, which unfortunately falls on a Monday this year. Everyone is buzzing with chatter about the masquerade— girls are talking about hair and makeup, guys are trying to figure out last-minute costume plans. It's really Hogwarts' own fault— if they had events like this more often, us students wouldn't get so freaked and excited when they _did_ happen. At least, that's my theory. I'm admittedly happy that Alice and Marlene brought me back a costume for the party. With the growing excitement over the past couple weeks for the party, I would have been upset to have missed it. James was right— this is exactly the type of thing I needed to cheer me up and get my mind on something happy and exciting, for once.

Not only is there excitement for the party later this evening, but for the regular Halloween feast, as well. Most of the older students attending the party are in the fantastically decorated Great Hall, ready to eat at five o'clock on the dot, as everyone is eager to get back up to their rooms to get ready for the party. My appetite is better than usual, and I'm already in a great mood in anticipation for this evening. I'm wedged in between Alice and Marlene with James sitting across from me; my plate is piled high with chips, a single-serving steak pie, and a bat-shaped chocolate pasty whose wings don't stop flapping until you take the first bite.

By six o'clock, my friends and I are back in our dormitory getting ready for the party. Do we really need this long to get ready? Probably not. Are we going to use every last minute until midnight comes around? Probably.

I start with my makeup; even though my mask will be covering most of my face, I apply a smokey eyelid and excessive amounts of eyeliner and mascara. After all, it's Halloween— I might as well have some fun with my makeup. Marlene insists that I wear a red lipstick, even though I know it will fade quickly at the party, seeing as I plan to stuff myself full of the Halloween treats I know will be there. Marlene crimps my hair as soon as she's finished with her own makeup, and I love the ridiculous, bouncy red curls it gives me.

By eleven, the five us are ready: me, in black flats, black leggings, a tight black v-neck t shirt, and my cat mask and tail; Marlene in a costume that consists primarily of her lavish facial makeup of the face of a fawn and a headband with small brown ears; Alice in a fairy dress with a fake magic wand; Roxanne in a black jumpsuit with attachable sleeves of her own creation, cut into the shape of bat wings and only noticeable when she spreads her arms; and, Camilla as a mermaid in a pair of pants covered in metallic green scales and a thin white shirt with a bra top decorated in jewels and pearls. We all look amazing. Marlene has ensured that none of us will be exiting this room without exquisite hair and makeup.

"We have to get someone to take a picture of us!" she squeals as we leave the room and head for the Common Room.

"We should take a group photo with the guys," adds Alice, who surely just wants Frank in the photo with her.

We all spot James, Sirius, Remus, Peter, and Frank pretty quickly upon entering the Common Room. Frank is dressed up as a scare crow and has done a pretty good job with his costume— probably with help from Alice. She greets him with a kiss as the rest of us stare blankly at the other four guys. Each one of them is dressed up as the same thing: a werewolf. All four guys are wearing purposely tattered and torn clothing accompanied by facial hair drawn on with makeup or paint. Each of them wears a pair of costume gloves with terrifyingly long, pointy fingernails on a pair of grimy plastic hands.

"Really? You guys dressed up as werewolves?" Marlene asks, a look of confusion and disbelief on her face.

"Yeah, is that even politically correct?" asks Roxanne. All four guys glance at each other and grin.

"Well, when Peter found these werewolf gloves in Hogsmeade, we thought it was the perfect idea!" Sirius chimes in.

"You didn't _all_ have to go as the same thing, you know," adds Alice.

"I guess we're just not very creative," adds James, who smiles at me.

The rest of the group starts talking, but James strides over to me.

"I'm glad you decided to come," he says, still smiling at me.

"Me too," I agree. "You were kind of right. I feel… Good," I add.

"And you look… Good, too. Really good," he says, grinning even wider.

I feel myself blushing, and I hope my mask is big enough to cover my pink cheeks. Luckily, we're interrupted by Marlene, who shouts: "PICTURE TIME!"

Marlene, myself, James, Sirius, Peter, Remus, Frank, Alice, Camilla, and finally, Roxanne, line up in front of the fireplace while a third year snaps our photo. James wraps his arm around my waist. I look to my right and see that his other arm is wrapped around Sirius' waist.

The decorations are, as per Hogwarts' usual, mesmerizing. The lighting is dim, but bright enough to see everyone's costumes, thanks to glittering silver and purple lights throughout the hall. The tall ceiling is hidden by thousands and thousands of little black bats, silently flitting around. Two of the large house tables remain at the far end of the Great Hall, every inch of their surfaces covered in dazzling food: massive pumpkin shells filled with ice and bottled butterbeer and pumpkin juice; bowls of assorted candy apples; bowls full of every sweet sold at Honeydukes; trays of pumpkin pasties baked in the shape of pumpkins; chocolate tarts shaped like witches' hats; and, even more. The rest of the hall is divided into a dance floor beside a gigantic gramophone, and various Halloween-themed activities, like bobbing for apples, on the other side.

x

x

x

x

 **James**

Black cat-Lily looks hot. I can't take my eyes off of her. Even though she's only wearing plain black, each stitch of the tight black fabric is accentuating her body unlike I've never seen before. She has an aura of confidence surrounding her tonight; perhaps because it's Halloween, or perhaps because her face is hidden behind her cat mask.

The Great Hall quickly fills up; for the first half hour or so, everyone is too shy to dance, and still too full from the Halloween feast to do too much snacking. Most people are congregated throughout the hall in their friend groups, or exploring the various games that are set up beside the dance floor. Bobbing for apples isn't too popular, as no one— myself included— wants to ruin their makeup. Sirius, however, doesn't stop to consider his painted on werewolf face before practically diving into the apple bin to show off for anyone who will give him their attention.

Lily and her friends have disappeared, and though I'm standing beside him, cheering him on, I'm ignoring Sirius and scanning the Great Hall for Lily; she's incredibly hard to spot being that she's wearing all black in the dim-lit, crowded hall. I finally spot Frank, who is hanging out with Alice, Lily, Marlene, Camilla, and… Brennan Carey. Heat rises in my chest and up my neck; Lily dated Brennan last year, and it drove me insane with jealousy.

"Be right back, mate," I mutter to Remus; before I can stop myself, I'm headed in Lily and Brennan's direction.

I sneak up behind Lily and reach towards her party plate and snag a pumpkin pasty, which she's already taken a couple bites out of.

"Hey!" yells Lily as she twists around to find out who the thief is.

"Hey yourself," I say with my mouth full of her pumpkin pasty.

"You know there's literally an endless supply of pasties on the table right beside us," Lily points out, playfully elbowing me in the ribs.

"Your point?" I ask, popping the last bit of her pasty into my mouth. After swallowing, I glance at Brennan, who is kind of grimacing at me.

"Brennan," I greet him, nodding my head and forcing a grin. His grimace turns into a sort-of smile.

Thankfully, our painful interaction ends within seconds, as Marlene starts shouting at Lily to come join her on the dance floor. Lily is clearly hesitant— dancing doesn't really seem like her thing. I grab her hand.

"Come on," I prod, grinning.

"Oh, James, I don't know," she sputters.

"Come on, Lils, it'll be fun," I pull her towards beckoning Marlene and the dance floor, which is now full of students; without another glance at Brennan, Lily follows me away.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: The chapter you've all been waiting for! Enjoy! I also wanted to say a quick thank you to those who have sent new reviews in for my recent chapters. I love getting the feedback and the motivation to keep writing and posting! It means so much to see you taking the time to read my work.

* * *

Chapter 8

 _November 1_

 **Lily**

After a night full of friends, food, dancing, laughing, and fun, the whole lot of us trudge back up to the Gryffindor common room, each of us feeling exhausted and looking slightly disheveled. Everyone is so exhausted that they immediately head up to their rooms, as if in a zombie-like trance. I loiter at the roaring fireplace for a moment, taking a minute to myself after a night surrounded by people. I gaze into the crackling flames and nearly jump in surprise when I feel a presence beside me. Turning my neck, I find James standing a few inches to my right.

"Aren't you tired?" I ask.

"I guess I'm still a bit energized," he tells me, a soft smile on his lips. "Aren't you tired?" he asks. I shrug.

James takes a step towards me; he reaches out and lifts my cat mask away, setting it on the table beside us. One of his hands touches my wildly curly, crimped hair. Before I even know what's happening, James kisses me softly on the lips, tentatively at first, and then stronger. His left hand wraps around my waist, and his right hand weaves through my hair and around the back of my neck. Without even thinking about it, my hands wrap around his neck and lace through his thick black hair. A few moments later, he pulls back, smiling giddily at me.

"You're blushing, Miss Evans," he says, his hand leaving my hair and cupping my cheek instead. As he gazes into my eyes, stroking my cheek with his thumb, I feel myself turning bright red. "You are quite adorable when you're embarrassed, you know." I can feel the smile on his lips as he kisses me again, a few quick kisses in a row.

"Bloody hell.. I've just kissed Lily Evans," he gasps, letting go of me; dramatically, he fake-falls onto the floor beside us, clutching at his chest and making me giggle. Until only minutes ago, I didn't even know I wanted to be kissed by James Potter. James startles me as he suddenly pulls me down to the floor with him, pulling me to his side. I rest my head on his shoulder and breathe him in. He turns his head to look down at me and smiles. He bends his neck until our lips are close enough to touch; he kisses me again, much differently this time. He plants several slow, soft kisses on my lips and my entire body is covered in chills, despite the roaring fire beside us.

"I had a really good time with you tonight," James murmurs a few minutes later. "And you're the sexiest cat I've ever laid eyes on," he adds, making me giggle again.

"I had a really good time, too," I reply honestly.

x

x

x

x

 **James**

This is a moment I have been waiting for and imagining over and over again for years— the simple bliss of holding Lily Evans close to me. "It's nearly 4 a.m., Lils, you should get to bed," I finally murmur. Lily and I are still laying on the floor of the Gryffindor Common Room, snuggled close together.

"I don't want to," she whispers.

"You'll be tired in the morning," I argue.

"I… I haven't been sleeping well. For the past month or so. I only get a couple hours a night. I'm usually still awake now anyways," she admits. "But if you want to go up to bed, you should—" she adds quickly, a note of apology in her voice.

I sit up on the hard floor. "Stay here, I'll be right back," I say, and quickly dash up the stairs leading to the boys' dormitories. I quietly slip into my room, trying not to wake my friends. I grab two pillows and two blankets off of my messy bed, and rush back down to Lily.

"Come here," I tell her, choosing a couch hidden in the back corner of the Common Room. I lay one pillow at the far end of the couch, and the other on the floor right beside it. "Come lay down, Lils," I say, smiling at the beautiful redheaded girl. She lays down on the couch and I kneel beside her.

"No worrying tonight," I tell her. "Just try and sleep— I'll be here right beside you, okay?" I choose the nicer of the two blankets, a hand made afghan that my mother knit for me last Christmas, and drape it over her. I kiss her gently on the forehead and lay on the floor beside the couch.

"James?" she whispers, rolling over and draping her hand over the couch, resting it on my chest.

"Yes, Lily?" I whisper back, placing my hand over hers.

"Thank you."

I lift her hand and kiss each finger tip in response, then place it back on my chest, where it remains for the rest of the night.

x

x

x

x

"Bloody hell!"  
"It's about time!"

"FIRST YEARS, AVERT YOUR EYES!"

"Oh fuck," I mutter, awakening with a start and sitting up abruptly. Standing in front of me are Sirius, Remus, Peter, and Marlene. I glance over to the couch, where Lily is just rising, her cheeks flushed scarlet.

"Prongs, my boy, I must say, I had my doubts," Sirius chortles. "But I am mad impressed, mate."

"Sirius, shut the fuck up," I say as I stand up, incredibly annoyed. I throw my pillow forcefully at Sirius' face and I turn to face Lily, but Marlene has already pulled her away, exclaiming in disbelief. They head towards the staircase leading to the girl's dormitories, and Lily turns her head towards me before she disappears.

"I'll see you at breakfast," she says softly, smiling warmly at me. Her smile reassures me that last night really did happen. That she enjoyed every moment of it just as much as I did. And that she doesn't regret spending the night beside me, despite our early morning wakeup call.

x

x

x

x

 **Lily**

"Holy _shit,_ Lily! What happened last night?!" cries Marlene the second we enter our room. Alice and our other roommates, Camilla and Roxanne, only just getting out of bed, turn to face us with confused looks on their faces.

"What _are_ you screeching about?" Camilla cries, only half-way dressed in a skirt and bra.

"Sirius, Remus, Peter, and I just went downstairs to find Lily and _James Potter_ asleep on a couch together!" Marlene exclaimed.

"We were not on the couch together!" I cry, trying to defend myself. " _I_ was on the couch, and James on the floor beside me."

"You two were holding bloody hands in your sleep, Lily!" Marlene cried back.

"It's not a big deal," I say, trying to brush it off as I dig through my trunk for a clean set of robes.

"Not a big deal? _Not a big deal?!_ Lily, you have hated James' guts since the day you met him," Marlene laughed.

"Yeah, someone needs to do some explaining here," said Roxanne.

"We just.. We just got talking last night, I guess.." I start.

" _Got talking_ at one of your cutesy _study sessions?_ " Marlene teases.

"Shut up," I yell, throwing a dirty sock at her. "We just got talking and.. I don't know, then he kissed me."

"Oh my god, he kissed you?!" cries Marlene.

"And you kissed him back?!" exclaims Alice.

"And then you _slept_ together?!" yells Camilla.

"We did _NOT_ sleep together!" I cry, trying to fend off my crazy roommates. "We just fell asleep in the Common Room, me on the couch, and James on the floor." I look at myself in the mirror, seeing that I obviously need a quick shower, but knowing I don't have time. I begin to braid my disheveled hair as my friends all look at me with humored, smug expressions on their faces.

"What now?" I ask, probably blushing a deep shade of pink.

"We _knew_ this was bound to happen sooner or later," says Marlene, exchanging smiles with our roommates.

"James was just too determined in his quest for your love for you to deny him for _ever_ ," says Camilla, laughing.

"Well, James decided to stop being a crazy nutter every _single_ time he passed me in the corridor," I mutter, tying the end of my braid with a stray ponytail.

"Yeah, he _has_ been acting different around you over the past few weeks," agrees Alice.

"Sounds like he's just finally reaching maturation to me!" laughs Marlene. I fake laugh back at her, turning away from my friends and furrowing my eyebrows.

"So, are you two going with each other now, then?" asks Roxanne.

"Erm.. I don't really know," I admit.

"Well, you _did_ kiss last night, didn't you?" points out Alice.

"Well, yeah—"

Marlene cuts me off. "But when has James Potter ever actually dated any of the girls he's snogged?" I avert my eyes and turn to walk over to my bedside table; out of the corner of my eye, I see Alice elbow Marlene in the ribs and give her a dirty look.

"Lily is different," Alice intervenes.

"Well, who's ready for breakfast?" pipes up Camilla.

"You guys go on, I'll be down in just a minute," I say as I lift open the lid of my small glass jewelry box. I gently dig through the loose earrings and necklaces until I find the pair I'm looking for: the earrings my dad gave me for Christmas the year I started school at Hogwarts. They were simple, but beautiful- tiny oval-shaped sterling silver hoops with diamond and emerald accents.

 _'The second I saw them in the shop window, I knew my Lily Pad had to have them,"_ my father told me as I opened them on Christmas morning. _"Emeralds to match your beautiful green eyes."_ My father and I shared the same dark green, piercing eyes. Petunia was stuck with an ugly, muddy shade of hazel, a mix between our mother's chocolate brown eyes and our father's green. I smile at the memory of Christmas and my father as I put the earrings on, but at the same time, tears pierce the back of my eyes and threaten to fall down my cheeks as I remember that we won't have another Christmas like that together. I squeeze them shut, pleading with my mind to calm down.

A few moments later, I've managed to compose myself. After washing away the remains of last night's makeup in the bathroom, I head down the spiral staircase leading to the Common Room. I enter the room to see that it is nearly empty, and that none of my friends are anywhere to be found— only James is there, standing by the bottom of the staircase. He turns around as he hears my footsteps, and smiles when he sees me. I automatically blush.

"Hey," he says quietly, gently taking my hand in his.

"Hi," I say back.

"I told the others to leave without us," he starts. "I wanted to make sure you were okay— you know, after our wake-up call…" he trails off, looking at me, waiting for a response.

"Er…" I manage to stutter out.

"I mean, after they found us together, I felt bad— I didn't mean for that to happen. I meant to wake up before anyone else would come find us."

"Er, yeah… It's fine."

"Can I kiss you again?" he asks, his cheeks flushing slightly.

"You're blushing," I say, leaning towards him.

"You have that effect on me, Miss Evans," he says before bending down to kiss my lips.

x

x

x

x

 **James**

As I kiss Lily again, a huge feeling of relief washes over me. Yes, last night really happened. No, it wasn't all a too-good-to-be-true dream. Her lips are soft and warm, and I run my hand down her long braid.

"You look so pretty with your hair pulled back," I tell her, smiling even bigger when I see her blush even deeper red. "And you're incredibly cute when you blush."

"Stop," Lily whines adorably, covering her cheeks with her hands. Her blush beings to travel down her neck.

"Your earrings match your eyes," I point out, lightly running my finger down the side of her ear.

x

x

x

x

 **Lily**

As we walk through the castle and down to the Great Hall, I feel myself blushing a deep ruby red. I feel as if every student we pass knows that James and I kissed. I feel the eyes of everyone we pass on me, and I stare at my feet, careful not to stand too close to James. As we enter the Great Hall, our group of friends stop eating, staring at us as we enter, all of them sniggering and laughing.

"Look who decided to finally join us," calls Sirius as we near them. I glare at him and sit down next to Camilla, facing Sirius, Remus, and Marlene. James sits down beside me.

"Bugger off, Pads," James mutters as he begins to fill his plate with anything and everything. I help myself to a slice of toast and some fruit, not daring to look anyone in the eye. Half way through my toast, I look up at Remus, who smiles warmly at me. Just beyond his smile at the Slytherin table sits Severus. I feel his glare from across the room. Our eyes meet for a brief second before I look back down at my plate.

"Lils, I'll be right back," says James, gently squeezing my shoulder as he stands up briskly and heads toward the front of the Great Hall. Just moments later, he returns, standing behind me with his hands on my shoulders. He bends down to whisper in my ear.

"McGonagall gives you permission to have the day off," he says, his breath tickling my neck. "Meet me in my dormitory in 10— change into something comfier," he finishes, and gives me a quick kiss on the cheek before leaving the Great Hall, followed almost immediately by Sirius, Remus, and Peter.

I look towards the front of the Great Hall, searching for Professor McGonagall. Our eyes meet, and she gives me a quick nod. I look back across the Hall at Severus, who is still staring right at me. His lips are squeezed so tightly together that I can barely see them. His eyes narrow as I meet his gaze, and he gives me a look of disgust before rising from the table and leaving.


	9. Chapter 9

_**Chapter 9**_

 **James**

I walk— nearly run— up the stairs of the castle and up to the Gryffindor dormitories, Sirius, Remus, and Peter trailing behind me. I've always been nervous around Lily— which frequently resulted in me making a fool of myself or making myself look like a complete git. Only in the past few weeks have we really started hanging out together— with no pressure to perform for her. But now that we've kissed, that pressure is back, and I feel awkward, as if I don't know the right way to act around her. She isn't like any of the random girls I've made out with in the past— she's the smartest witch I've ever met, and quite possibly the most beautiful, too.

"What sweet nothings were you whispering in Lily's ear?" teases Sirius.

"Fuck off, Padfoot."

"I'm burning with jealousy, mate— I thought _I_ was your heart's desire," he says, throwing a shoe at me.

" _Fuck off,_ Padfoot," I repeat, glaring at him across the room. I move at warp speed to tidy my things in my corner of our room— which mostly involves shoving everything possible into my trunk. I'm not so sure Lily would be impressed to come in and see stray socks, trousers, and various sweet wrappers cluttering the ground. I pull off my robes, simultaneously getting undressed, cleaning up, and looking for a clean outfit to wear. I finally find a pair of faded dark blue jeans and a simple dark blue muggle t-shirt.

"What exactly are you doing, mate?" Remus asks, eyeing me strangely as he fills his rucksack with textbooks.

"Lily and I are— er— well, she's skipping class today," I say, trying and failing to run a comb through my thick, messy hair. "She'll be up any minute. Which means you lot need to scram," I add, giving them all dirty looks.

"Going from snogging to shagging in less than 24 hours? Oi, I'm impressed," Sirius chortles from across the room.

I pick up a random shoe and chuck it at his head, hitting my target perfectly. "Come off it, Sirius, we're just looking for somewhere private to chat," I say, glaring at him. He quickly shuts up when he hears me use his first name. "Now, get out of here, you lot, and don't come back," I say, shoving them out the door. I fold the up the covers and the bedspread on my bed and fold my mother's afghan at the end. I grab the deodorant sitting on my bedside table and reapply it. I wait nervously for a few more minutes, until I hear a soft knock at the door.

"Hi," I say as I open the heavy door and see Lily standing behind it, looking absolutely adorable. I smile immediately upon seeing her face. Her hair is still pulled back into a single braid down her back, but several strands have fallen out, perfectly angling her face. She's changed out of her bulky school robes and into a simple v-cut olive green sweater and pair of faded jeans. Her flawless body is outlined perfectly in her tight-fitting clothing, making me wish I could run my hands down every nook and crevice of her body.

"Hi," she says back, looking up at my face, then behind me, analyzing my room.

I put my hands on her hips and kiss her softly on the lips, then pull back. Am I touching her too much? Does she want me to keep kissing her? Or did she only want to be with me last night in the moment?

"I'm sorry I keep kissing you," I say, immediately wishing I had said something else. Her eyebrows furrow for a split second.

"Sorry?" she asks.

"Yeah… I mean, do you… Mind?" I ask, feeling stupider with each word that comes out of my mouth.

"Mind? Not at all," she says, a smile playing on her lips. She props herself up on her toes, bringing her face closer to mine. I meet her lips once more.

"Good," I say, in between pecks.

"Maybe we could get out of the hallway and go into your room?" she says, another smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.

"Oh— right." I move out of the door frame, letting her enter, and swing the door closed lightly. I meet her in the center of the room, where she's looking around.

"Have you ever seen the boy's dormitories?" I ask.

"Er,— yeah, I have," she says. "I've actually been in your room before— with Remus. And I visited Brennan's a few times." My chest burns with jealousy as I'm forced to remember Lily's boyfriend from last year. They dated for several months, at which time I serial dated many of the Gryffindor girls, trying to keep Lily off of my mind.

"Right— er, want to sit down?" I say, heading over to my bed. Lily joins me, sitting down in the middle of my bed, crossing her legs. I sit in front of her, mimicking her position. Our knees brush up against each other. I take one of her hands in between mine and caress her pale skin with my fingertips. We gaze at each other for a few moments in silence.

"Are you doing okay?" I ask. "I know you've been a bit down."

Lily shrugs, avoiding eye contact with me.

"I thought you could use a personal day," I continue, explaining how I convinced McGonagall to let Lily off the hook for today's classes.

"Thanks," she murmurs, meeting my eyes again. I can't help but notice they're glistening with tears. My heart lurches, knowing how much pain Lily has been in over the past few weeks.

"I'm okay," she adds a few seconds later, a small smile pulling at the corners of her mouth. "I'm hanging in there, at least. Trying to stay positive."

x

x

x

x

 **Lily**

"You know, you are inhumanly soft, Miss Evans," James says, placing a finger under my chin and tilting my head up to look at him. "Is now a bad time to kiss you?" he asks. I shake my head no, and he touches the tip of his nose to mine, and then kisses me on the lips. Gripping my neck and holding my back, he gently turns me over onto my back to lay in his bed. Hovering over me, his arms still around me, he continues to kiss me, long and slow. As we continue to kiss, the hand on my back slides slowly up the back of my sweater, making contact with my skin. Before I can stop myself, I let out a soft groan, and James deepens our kiss. A few seconds later, I stop him, putting my hands on his chest.

"James? Do you.. Are we..?" I start, feeling myself blush with embarrassment.

"What?" he asks, clearly confused.

"I mean…. Are we boyfriend and girlfriend?" I ask, feeling insanely stupid.

A huge grin spreads across James' face. "Do you want to be boyfriend and girlfriend, Miss Evans?"

"Do _you_?" I can feel my cheeks turning bright red.

"I've been waiting for you to ask me that since we were first years," he murmurs, bending his head back down to peck me on the lips.


	10. Chapter 10

_**Chapter 10**_

 _November 8th- 11:40 a.m._

 **Lily**

 _"For just over a week, now, James and I have been going with each other. I wake up excited every morning because I get to see James. I don't quite know how the boy I vowed to hate for all eternity ended up being the boy who makes me smile every time I hear his voice. James isn't nearly as daft or vulgar as he had always seemed to me— he's so incredibly sweet and loving. I think Sirius is actually getting jealous of all the time James and I have been spending together. I only wish that James had stopped being an idiot years ago so that we could have been together sooner. Even though we've only really been friends for a little over month, and been together just over a week, it feels as if we've been together for ages. Being with him is so easy, and he makes me feel so comfortable and safe._

 _I finally wrote a letter back to mum and dad— I wrote one letter for each of them. I'm so anxious for a reply. I want to know what's going on, and I want to know how dad is. Luckily James has been by my side to listen to my worries and comfort me as best he can. He can't make dad better and he can't tell me that for sure that everything will be okay, but he still makes me feel 1000x better."_

I close my journal and pack up my bag, leaving the library and heading to the Great Hall, where I'm supposed to meet with James and our friends for lunch. I have two more classes left today, then the whole night to spend with James. As I walk down the empty corridors, I feel a sharp hand take hold of my right shoulder.

"Lily," Severus says, bringing me to a halt.

"Sev-Severus," I say, both frightened by his sudden appearance, and surprised that he's even talking to me.

"I want to talk to you," he says, his eyebrows furrowed together, his eyes narrowed. He's as pale as ever and there are dark circles under his eyes, as if he hasn't slept in days.

"What could you _possibly_ have to say to me, Severus," I whisper harshly.

"Is it true you're going with Potter? James Potter of all people?" he asks, still firmly grasping my shoulder. I shrug off his hold on me and take a step back.

"I don't see why that's any of your business," I say, my voice growing louder. "I don't have to keep you informed about who I'm seeing."

"Lily, what could you possibly see in him— after years and years of him hexing me in the corridor and treating you like a piece of meat—"

"Why do you think you have the right to come up to me and question me about my life— or even to even talk to me in the first place?" I yell, boiling with anger.

"Lily, I'm sorry about… about—"

"About calling me a _mudblood_? You're _sorry_ are you? Sorry for calling your best friend of what— nearly ten years?— the most disgusting insult you could possibly come up with?"

"Lily, you have to know I didn't mean it— I was just— I don't know, everyone was staring—"

"You're a disgusting coward, Snape— and I don't want anything to do with you! Don't you dare tell me that you _accidentally_ called me one of the worst insults in the Wizarding world. Go back to your pal Malfoy and the rest of his lot. Go off and follow his crowd— because this friendship ended the second you _dared_ stoop to their level and call me a mudblood," I cry, and start walking away from him as fast as I possibly can, tears threatening to pour out of my eyes. Seconds later, just moments before turning down the corridor leading to the Great Hall, I feel a hand grasping my wrist, pulling me to a stop.

" _Please,_ Lily— you have to forgive me! The only reason you won't forgive me is because you're under Potter's influence," Severus hisses, his face contorted into a pained expression. Before I can even think about what I'm about to do, my hand leaps from my side and slaps him across the face.

"I don't _have_ to forgive you for _ANYTHING,_ Severus," I say, trying to keep my voice calm, as I know we must have an audience by now. Severus looks at me, a shocked expression on his face, and places his hand over the cheek I have just slapped. His eyes dart just pas my head, and mere seconds later, I feel an arm wrap around my waist.

"Don't make me hex you, Snape," James says, his voice more stern, cold, and serious than I have ever heard it before. He and Severus look each other in the eyes for a few brief moments before Severus turns and walks down the hall, his pace nearly at a run.

"Are you okay, love?" James murmurs into my ear, wrapping his other arm around my waist, pulling me gently against him. He buries his head in between my neck and my shoulder, sending shivers up my spine.

"Yes," I say, turning around to wrap my arms around his neck, one hand weaving through his messy hair. He squeezes me for a moment.

"Let's go have lunch," he says, letting go of me and taking my hand as we walk down the hall.

x

x

x

x

 **James**

 _11:30 a.m._

"Hey, mate," Sirius greets me as he strides into our room. I'm sitting in bed, alone, skimming my history text book, waiting for lunch time to come so I can see Lily again.

"Hey, Padfoot," I say, glancing over at him as he throws himself onto his bed.

"Oh, god," he moans. "Fuck me."

"No thanks, mate," I reply, shutting my book and rolling onto my side to face him.

"No, seriously. Just, fuck."

"Are you going to tell me what the fuck happened, Padfoot?" I ask, mildly concerned, but annoyed at the same time.

"Marlene and I shagged," he moans, rolling over onto his back, staring at the ceiling.

"You and Marlene McKinnon? Are you bloody serious?" I ask, now impressed that Sirius was actually able to win over Marlene, who had always expertly ignored Sirius' groping and flirting.

"Yes, I'm fucking serious. God, mate, she was amazing. I don't know what to do about it," he says, covering his face with his hands.

"Er… Yeah, sounds like a real problem, Padfoot. When exactly did this happen?" I ask.

"Last night," he says, and looks at me sheepishly. "She'll never want to… You know, go on a date with me, or whatever," Sirius says.

"Have you ever actually taken a girl on a real date before?" I ask, legitimately.

"I bought Mara Carlton an ice cream in second year."

"Not sure that counts, mate," I laugh. "Come on, let's head down for lunch."

"Are you crazy? Marlene will be there!" he cries, a horrified look on his face.

"So go eat lunch and sit next to her," I say unsympathetically. "Maybe you and Marlene can go on double dates with Lily and I," I smile, thinking of my Lily.

"Barf," says Sirius, rolling out of bed and following me out the door.

When we've nearly reached the Great Hall, I hear Remus calling my name.

"James! Come here— Lily and Snape are going at it with each other," he calls, trying to catch his breath as he reaches Sirius and I.

"What? Where?" I ask, already pissed off at Snape.

"Corridor— next to— Great Hall," he pants.

I take off towards the Great Hall, and see Lily's red hair several feet away. As I near them, I see Lily reach up and slap Snape across the face. I reach her side seconds later, pulling my wand out of my pocket and pulling Lily towards me.

"Don't make me hex you, Snape," I sneer, glaring and his greasy face. He stares at me for a second before turning and practically running down the corridor.

"Are you okay, love?" I ask, stuffing my wand back into my pocket and wrapping both arms around Lily's waist, gently squeezing her tiny, warm body against me. I bury my my face in her neck and breathe in her vanilla perfume.

"Yes," she says as puts her arms around my neck, weaving her fingers through my hair. I hold her close to me before letting go and taking her hand.

"Let's go have lunch." Before turning around and walking back down the corridor, I glance back down the long, empty hallway. Snape is standing a few meters away, clearly having witnessed Lily and I's embrace. We lock eyes for a brief second, and I smirk at him.

"By the way," I add, looking down at my beautiful girlfriend. "That was an amazing slap."


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: Hello lovely readers, I hope you enjoy this latest chapter! This is the longest chapter so far, and you get a glimpse at another character's point of view! ;) I also wanted to send a shoutout to some of the latest reviews and kind words I've gotten from the past few chapters. It means so much to hear that you're liking my story!

* * *

 **Chapter 11**

 _December 1st_

 **Lily**

I wake up early, as per my normal Saturday morning routine. The sky is a light, cloudless blue, and a fresh layer of snow covers the ground. I can hear the cheerful sound of chirping birds. I lean my nose up against the window, fogging up the glass and peer out at the snow-covered castle grounds before grabbing my clothing and toiletries and heading to the girl's bathroom.

After taking a quick five minute shower, I use a handy spell that imitates the actions of a blow-dryer, leaving my hair damp and wavy. After applying my favorite leave-in conditioner, I put on a bit of eyeliner and mascara. My Saturday attire consists of a tight pair of straight-legged sweatpants accompanied by a loose-fitting, long-sleeved teal t-shirt and a pair of flats. When I finally feel put together enough, I head down to the common room and make my way to the Great Hall to meet James for breakfast. When I get there, my owl, as well as the owl who delivers my daily newspaper are already waiting for me. I quickly pay the delivery owl and untangle the small package Athena is carrying from her legs. Inside the package is a folded letter and a a saran-wrapped bundle of a small loaf of my favorite zucchini bread. My hands shaking, I lift the letter up and unfold it.

 _'My Dearest Lily Pad,_

 _I know your mum and I haven't been doing a good job of keeping you informed about my health, and I deeply apologize for that. I hope this letter helps clarify things for you. Yes, the Lymphoma is back. I have begun chemotherapy treatment. The doctors hope that the chemotherapy will begin to shrink my tumors, which have spread to from my lymph nodes to my lungs and liver. My liver is in very poor condition, and I am scheduled for surgery on December 24th for the hopeful resection of the cancer that has spread there. This is why mum and I think it would be best for you to stay at Hogwarts this holiday. I'll be stuck in the hospital for a good portion of your break, and I don't want to ruin Christmas for you. I know you want to come home and see me, but with the surgery, I'll be in no condition for my darling daughter to see me in. I hope you understand that this decision was made with your best interests in mind. I know you may not understand, or may disagree with mum and I's decision, but I hope in time you will know why the decision had to be made. I know Christmastime is our special holiday together, and I know how much you look forward to coming home during the holiday, but I know that you will be much happier staying at school this year. There will be many more Christmases that we will get to spend together in the future— missing out on one holiday together isn't going to be the end of the world._

 _I hope school is going well, and I hope that you are doing well with your studies. I know that the news about the cancer must have put terrible stress on you, for which I am deeply sorry. I hope you aren't spending all of your spare time worrying about me. I've chosen to cut some of my hours at work due to my treatment, so I hope you'll write me some fantastic letters, filled with magical information that I don't understand._

 _I hope to hear back from you soon. Love always, Dad'_

I take a deep breath, trying to convince my brain not to let me cry. _Dad says he's doing okay- he seems to think there is nothing to worry about. He's going to get better. Next Christmas we'll celebrate as a family again. It doesn't matter that I'll have to stay at Hogwarts this holiday—it's just one holiday, after all. It doesn't really matter._ But no matter how hard I try, I cannot convince myself that things will be okay. Tears pool in my eyes, threatening to escape down my cheeks at any minute. I begin to gather up the package and dad's letter in preparation for a quick escape before I start bawling my eyes out, when James comes up behind me.

"Hi Lily," he says cheerfully, putting his hand on my back as he sits down beside me. The second he sees my face, his expression changes from a happy one to a deeply concerned one.

"Lily, what's wrong? What's happened?" he asks quietly, grabbing one of my hands.

"N-nothing's wrong. Just… Dad finally wrote me back," I say, my voice shaking.

"Do you want to get out of here?" he asks, reading my mind.

"Yes," I whisper, standing up with him. He gently takes my hand in his and guides me out of the Great Hall.

"Lils, I'm gonna show you something— and you have to promise not to go all 'Head Girl' on me for taking you here, all right?" he asks, smiling at me. Totally confused, I give him a weird look, but agree. Seven flights of stairs later, we're standing in a deserted corridor.

"James, what the bloody hell are we doing up here?" I ask, trying to catch my breath.

"Shhh— I'm thinking," he whispers, closing his eyes. Seconds later, appearing right before my eyes on what had been a plain wall, is a small, old-fashioned-looking door. James turns to me and smiles.

"Welcome to the Room of Requirement," he says, grabbing my hand and opening the mysterious door.

"The room of— what?" I ask, still completely bewildered. James opens the door to reveal a large room, mostly empty except for a large, wide couch sitting in front of a crackling fireplace.

"The Room of Requirement," James repeats. "Sirius and I found it during second year, trying to get away from Filch. It's some sort of magical room that creates the exact space you're thinking of in your head— whether it's a quick getaway, or a private room where no one can find us, like this one," he explains. "Now, tell me what your dad said," he says as we sit down on the big, comfy couch together. James reaches down and pulls my feet off the ground, swinging my legs up so that they drape over his lap and wraps his arms around me. I'm still clutching dad's letter in my hand, so I unfold it and hold it up so he can read it.

"Well, then…" he starts, "I guess you'll just have to come home with _me_ for Christmas, then, love," he says, a big grin spreading across his face.

"What?" I ask in disbelief. "Come home with you? Would your parents even allow that?"

"My parents are cool with pretty much anything. Sirius is spending the holidays with us, too. I'll write them today and ask, but I know they'll say yes," he says, still smiling.

"Maybe… Maybe one day I could go visit my mum and dad? They'd have to at least let me visit," I wonder out loud.

"Of course, love. Anything you want," he says, and kisses me gently on the lips. "Lils? How much are you worrying right now?" he asks, stroking the side of my leg.

"A lot," I say, leaning my head against James' shoulder. "It's amazing how much you can worry when you don't even know how much there is you should be worried about. But I guess that's sort of the premise of worrying, isn't it?"

"I wish I could do something to make you feel better— I feel so helpless— Like there has to be something I can do to help," James mutters, gazing down at my face.

"You _are_ helping," I murmur back, reaching up to touch his face. Though his expression doesn't change, I see his eyes light up. He bends his neck to kiss me, slowly and softly.

"Lily? There's something I've been wanting to tell you for a while now," James says a few minutes later, breaking our kiss.

"What is it?" I ask suspiciously.

x

x

x

x

 **James**

I take a deep breath. This is a secret I've ever told _anyone_. And it's not even my secret to tell.

"Lily, this is going to sound crazy and weird and hard to believe," I start. "In our fifth year, Sirius, Peter and I all became Animagi," I tell her.

" _What?"_ she asks, her eyes bulging. "James, is that even legal?"

"Well, no, not really. But… there's more. We decided to become Animagi because Remus is a werewolf."

"A… A _werewolf?_ James, are you serious?" Lily gasps, covering her mouth with her hand.

"Yeah, I'm serious, Lils. He was attacked when he was just a kid. Every month during the full moon, Dumbledore arranges for him to go down to the Shrieking Shack during his transformation. You know how the Whomping Willow stands just in front of the Shack, so no one can get past? Well, it's there for a reason— so no one can get past when Remus is changing. And when Sirius and Peter and I all found out, we decided to try and become Animagi so we could, you know, join him in the Shrieking Shack during his transformation and keep him company and watch out for him," I explain.

"James, that sounds completely dangerous-! What… What _are_ you?" she asks, her eyebrows furrowed together.

"I'm a stag," I tell her, proudly. "And Sirius is a big, black dog. Peter decided to become a rat, for whatever reason," I say, smiling at her.

"James, this is absolutely crazy. Poor Remus— no wonder he always seems to be sick. He's always got bags under his eyes as if he can never get a full night's sleep. And, the scars across his face… They're not from…?" she whispers, looking up at me.

"They're from his attack, yeah." Lily is taking this news surprising well.

"Bloody hell," she whispers.

"And, Lily?" I start again. "There's something else."

"What more could you possibly be hiding?" she asks, a concerned look on her face.

"I don't know if Snape ever told you— I mean, clearly he didn't," I trail off, unsure of how to explain this.

"Told me what…?" Lily asks, clearly confused.

"Er— Last year, Snape found out that Remus was a werewolf. And Sirius, being a huge git, told him how to get into the Shrieking Shack during Remus' transformation. Which was truly just a terrible, stupid thing to do— Remus could have bitten him, or worse— killed him," I pause, looking for Lily's reaction. "Well, when I found out, I made it to the Whomping Willow just in time— I was able to stop him before he got to Remus."

"I can't believe he never told me any of this," Lily murmurs.

"I'm not surprised he didn't— he was pretty embarrassed. He got into a lot of trouble with Dumbledore afterwards." I squeeze Lily tightly against me and kiss her gently on the lips, causing us both to forget about werewolves and Snape.

"Wait," Lily pipes up a few minutes later, pulling away from me. "The four of you dressed up as werewolves for Halloween— you were basically advertising it to the world!" she cries, although there's a smile on her face.

"There's a reason the phrase 'hidden in plain sight' is so popular. People have a harder time realizing something if it's staring them right in the face," I wink.

x x x x

Lily and I stay in our perfect, private space for a couple more hours— transitioning between cuddling and kissing and then talking with our arms wrapped around each other the entire time. After we depart (Lily, to do homework), I head up to the owlry to look for my handsome barn owl, Declan.

 _Mum,_

 _Lily's dad has to have an operation over Christmas break, so her parents have asked her to stay at Hogwarts during holiday. Can she join us for Christmas this year? I don't want to leave her behind at Hogwarts all by herself, and I know you've been dying to meet her._

 _Love, James_

Declan happily accepts my brief letter and nibbles my fingers softly before taking off into the snowy, cold air. I spend a few more minutes in the owlry, allowing my nose to get used to the smell of owl dung, and I stroke the colorful, silky feathers of some of the birds resting there. On my way out the door, I pass a wall of various memos— including a newly hung poster announcing the next Hogsmeade visit for just next weekend— right in time to buy presents before the Christmas holiday.

"Shit," I mutter. What the utter fuck am I supposed to buy Lily for Christmas? I have no experience in buying gifts for a girl. I haven't the slightest clue of how their minds work. And, Lily isn't just any old girl— she's not the type of girl you just buy an expensive necklace and a box of chocolates for.

x

x

x

x

 **Lily**

After James and I part ways, I head down to Gryffindor Tower and head up the staircase to my room to catch up on some homework. James has been a huge distraction from my studies lately— not that I'm really complaining about that. I walk into what I initially think is my empty dorm room— but then I hear a soft whimpering and a sniffle from one of the beds.

"Marlene?" I ask, peering over at her bed on the far right wall. Under a pile of blankets, I see body-shaped lump. Marlene sniffles in reply. I rush over to her bed side, all thought of homework forgotten.

"Marlene, what's wrong? What's happened?" I ask, kneeling by her side and gently placing my hand on her back.

"S- S- _Sirius,_ " she howls into her pillow.

"Sirius?" I ask, dumbfounded. "Sirius what? Has something happened to—"

Marlene lifts her head, propping herself up on her elbows and looking at me. Her freckled cheeks are streaked with spilt mascara, and her silver-blue eyes are bloodshot.

"We… We _shagged_ ", Marlene breathes, her eyebrows furrowing in distress. My eyes nearly leap out of my eyes in surprise.

"You and _Sirius Black?_ " I cry, completely bewildered. "Are you bloody serious, Marlene?"

" _YES!"_ she wails. "Two nights ago. And then he completely avoided me yesterday— and this morning at breakfast," she chokes on her words, more tears pouring out of her eyes. "He couldn't even _look_ at me."

"He's a right fowl git," I sneer, rubbing Marlene's back again.

"I… I don't even know what _happened,"_ she cries, dabbing at her tears with the corner of her blanket. "I thought he _liked_ me, I thought that maybe we'd… I don't know," she whispers as fresh tears fall down her cheeks.

My heart breaks for Marlene. She's had a crush on Sirius practically since first year.

"Wait here, I'll be right back," I say, jumping up from the floor and rushing out the door.

"What? Lily, where are you going? What are you doing?" I hear Marlene calling as I speed walk down the hall. I reach the Gryffindor Common Room and head up the stairs again- this time, though, up to the boy's dormitories. The second I reach the dorm that James, Sirius, Remus, Peter, and Frank share, I bang on the door, incredibly hopeful that Sirius is actually in there. I hear a loud, groaning grunt, and take that as an invitation to enter the room. I walk in to find Sirius in his bed, under his blankets with his pillow over his face. Of course he's still laying in bed in the middle of the afternoon on the weekend.

" _Sirius Black,"_ I sneer, using the scariest voice I can muster. Sirius, appearing startled, quickly removes the pillow from his face and sits up in bed, revealing his bare chest.

"Lily? What the fuck?" he asks, clearly confused and still half asleep.

"Did you _seriously_ sleep with Marlene?" I ask. "And then proceed to ignore her and treat her as if she means nothing to you?"

"Er— I didn't… I mean, I didn't mean—"

I cut him off. "Sirius Black, don't you dare tell me that you ' _didn't mean to'_ , I cry, walking up to him in his bed.

"Lily, I honestly didn't mean to, I just-"

"Sirius, you can't be serious right now. You shag Marlene, our _friend,_ and then expect to act as if nothing's happened? To act as if she isn't there? That's a great way to handle the situation. Real _mature._ She's not some random girl— she's someone you've known for seven years, you git," I yell at him.

"Lily, chill the fuck out," Sirius says, raising his voice. "I _know._ "

"You _know?_ What's that supposed to mean?"

"I fucking _like_ Marlene— that's why I— I… Don't know what the fuck to _do_ , now," he says. His cheeks begin to darken, and I pause to think of any other time that I've seen Sirius Black actually blush.

" _God,_ Sirius— you're such an idiot. Marlene's in our room crying her eyes out because she thinks you want nothing to do with her—"

Sirius cuts me off. "She's— she's crying?" he asks, his expression showing that he is truly, genuinely concerned.

"Yeah," I reply, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Can I— do you think she'd see me?" he asks, his eyebrows raising in anticipation.

"Why don't you go up there and see for yourself?" I ask, raising my own eyebrows.

"You know I can't go up there—" he begins to argue. My own eyebrows raise, this time in amusement.

"The big secret to the staircase up to the girl's dormitory is that boys _can_ go up the stairs— but only boys with good intentions," I tell him softly. "You should be able to get up there. That is, if what you're telling me is true. We're room twenty two," I tell him. Just then, James walks in the door, which I had left wide open.

"Lily?" he says, clearly confused as he walks in.

I turn to face him, surprised to hear his voice. "James?" I reply.

"What are you doing here? With my half naked best friend?" he asks, coming to stand in front of Sirius and I, a small grin on his lips.

"I'm just yelling at your best friend— who happened to have shagged _my_ best friend," I reply, glancing at Sirius with a nasty look.

"Oh, yeah," James replies, clearly unsurprised at this news.

"Don't tell me you knew about this?" I ask, raising my voice.

"Erm… Well, yeah," he replies, sheepishly. I glare at him. Just then, Sirius rises from his bed, thankfully wearing a pair of black sweatpants from the waist down.

"I'll be… Uh, right back," he stammers, walking away from us.

x

x

x

x

 **Sirius**

I walk out of my dormitory and down the stairs to the Common Room. I stand at the foot of the staircase leading up to the girl's dormitories, fairly certain that Lily was lying in hopes that I'd try to make it upstairs, but be thrown backwards as a form of punishment. I've tried to make it up this staircase dozens of time with no luck— I'm no stranger to the sensation of being thrown backwards as the staircase flattens into a slide, letting no one of the male species up. I pause for another moment before hesitantly placing my foot on the first step. I can feel the eyes of the few Gryffindors in the common room watching me. I hold my breath and begin to climb the staircase, fairly impressed when I've reached the top. I walk down the hallway, looking for room twenty three. When I've found it, half way down the long hallway, I knock gently on the door. No one replies, but I slowly turn the doorknob anyways.

I enter the room— for a second, taking it in— it's almost identical to my room on the other side of the tower, but a lot cleaner, and a lot better smelling. My eyes dart around the room, looking for Marlene. A few seconds later, I spot what I assume is her— a lump under a pile of blankets with piles of curly blonde hair poking out from underneath.

"Marlene?" I say quietly, walking over to kneel at her bedside. I place my hand tentatively on her back. She jumps at the sound of my voice and quickly turns around in bed, propping herself up on her elbows.

"S-Sirius?" she exclaims, clearly surprised to see me here. Her pretty blue eyes are red and bloodshot, and her freckle covered cheeks are bright red. My heart sinks in my chest.

"Er— hi," I mutter, feeling stupid and lost— what the fuck do I do, now?

"What are you doing here?" she asks, lifting one of her hands to fiercely wipe at her wet cheeks.

"I— uh, Lily— she— uh, I wanted— erm, I wanted to… You know, check on you," I finally manage to say. I can feel blood rushing to my cheeks in embarrassment. Shit.

" _Why?_ " Marlene asks, her eyebrows narrowing in anger. Fuck. Shit.

"Shit, Marlene," I say, covering my eyes with my hands and standing up beside her bed. "Shit. I didn't mean to— I'm sorry," I stutter out loud. Why am I so fucking shitty at this? I move my hands away from my eyes and look back at Marlene, sort of scared to see her expression. Her chin is wrinkled, and her eyes are filled to the brim with fresh tears.

"Shit, no— don't cry, Marlene, please don't cry," I say, kneeling once again. "I'm sorry I fucking suck— I suck balls, I know," I tell her, at a clear loss for words. Marlene lets out a giggle, and props herself up from her elbows to a sitting position on her bed, her hands reaching up to her eyes to wipe away her tears.

"You're right— you do suck balls," she agrees, a small smile appearing on her face.

"Can— can I— can I hug you?" I stutter awkwardly, reaching out to touch Marlene's knee, which is still underneath her blankets. She nods softly, and I reach down to give her a big hug. She smells insanely good.

"I didn't mean to just… er, you know— shag and disappear on you," I tell her, wishing I hadn't decided to open my mouth. "I didn't know what to do afterwards— because I… I…" I stutter. She pulls away from me, looking at my face.

"You what?" she asks.

"I, uh, really like you, Marlene," I say sheepishly. "You may have noticed this, but, I've never really actually _dated_ anyone, and, uh, I didn't really know what to do," I trail off, tearing my eyes off of her face and down to look at her blankets instead.

"You like me?" she asks. I look back at her insanely gorgeous grinning face.

"Well, yeah," I say, definitely starting to turn red again.

"Yeah?" she asks.

"Yeah."

Marlene lifts her head and her lips meet mine. Fuck, yeah. I cup her face with my hands, using my thumbs to wipe away any leftover tears. She opens her mouth to deepen our kiss and leans forward, closer to me, and rests her hands on my hips for support. _Fuckkkk, yeah._


	12. Chapter 12

_**Chapter 12**_

 _December 3rd_

 **James**

On Monday morning, Lily and I head down to breakfast together, hand in hand. We've grown into a routine of waking up a little while earlier than the rest of our friends to get at least a few minutes of quiet time alone together before everyone else wakes up.

"Why are you so beautiful?" I ask her as we sit down at the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall. I drop her hand and move my arm around her waist instead. I kiss her gently on the cheek and smile at her. She's blushing an adorable shade of pink from my comment, and refusing to meet my gaze. I lift my free hand to touch her face, persuading her to face me. After a few quick kisses, we're interrupted as my owl, and the owl delivering Lily's newspaper arrive before us.

"Hello, Declan," I say, ruffling my bird's feathers before untying the piece of parchment from his ankles. He chirps in reply, and helps himself to some of my pumpkin juice before flying away again. I unfold the letter and quickly read over it.

 _"James,_

 _Of course Lily can come stay with us during your holiday. Let me know if I should write to her parents to let them know it's okay with us. I'm definitely quite excited to meet the infamous Lily— Sirius has told me that you two have been moving very fast and that you're quite affectionate. I hope you're not giving your professors too much trouble and that you're still finding time to complete your studies. Dad and I can't wait to have you and Sirius home for Christmas— and Lily, of course. Dad sends his love, as well. Let me know if you need anything, darling, and have a good last few weeks of term._

 _With love, Mum"_

I grin, hoping Lily will be just as excited as I am to be joining me for Christmas. I gently elbow her in the arm, and our eyes meet. I grin at her, and hand her the letter. She reads over it, and smiles softly back at me. My grin fades.

"I know you wish you were going home for Christmas, Lils," I say, reaching for her hand. She smiles faintly. "I promise to give you an amazing Christmas, even though you can't be with your family," I tell her, knowing it still won't be the same.

Just then, Sirius and Marlene walk up to the table and sit down across from Lily and I. They sit much closer to each other than they normally would— their shoulders are touching, and neither one of them will make direct eye contact with us. I raise my eyebrows at Sirius.

"Moooorning," Sirius says awkwardly. My eyebrows raise even higher.

"Did you see the next Hogsmeade trip is this coming weekend?" Marlene says, mostly talking to Lily. Shit. I still have to think of something to get Lily for Christmas.

"Oh, yeah," Lily replies half heartedly.

"Want to go Christmas shopping?" Marlene asks, beginning to help herself to breakfast.

"Yeah, sure," Lily agrees, biting into a piece of dry toast.

"Hey, maybe we can, uh, you know— meet up, or something," Sirius says. "After you lot are all done shopping? The four of us can— I don't know— get a butterbeer, or something?"I try not to smirk. I can tell he's actually trying to get Marlene to go on some semblance of a date with him.

"Yeah, that's a good idea," Marlene chimes in, trying to hide her excitement over the premise of a double date.

"Sure, let's meet at the Three Broomsticks around two," I agree, squeezing Lily's hand. She nods and smiles in agreement.

"It's a date," Sirius says, trying and failing to hide a corny smile. "I mean, you know, a group date, or whatever," he continues. Both he and Marlene blush and turn their attention towards their plates.

x

x

x

x

 **Lily**

After a long, stressful day of classes, Marlene and I are sitting alone in a corner of the Gryffindor Common Room silently reading for Muggle Studies. I've been exhausted all day, probably due to the fact that I'm so anxious about my dad, but also conflicted about my excitement for getting to spend the entire holiday with James. After we've read for a while and the Common Room starts to empty, Marlene speaks up.

"So, about the Hogsmeade visit…." she begins, waiting for my attention. "Do you think…. Did Sirius wanted to ask me out?" she asks.

I smirk, and then smile at her, laying my book down on my lap. "It certainly seemed like it," I tell her. "What ever happened the other day after I yelled at him?" I ask. Marlene blushes, and her lips break into a huge smile.

"He told me he liked me," she whispers.

"Seriously?!" I whisper-yell back.

"Seriously," she confirms, closing her book and squeezing it against her chest. "I dunno if he's finally decided to find a serious relationship, or what- or if he just felt guilty or awkward about what happened after we shagged," she murmurs, her smile starting to fade.

"Hey, he made it up the staircase to the girl's dormitories— you know the boys can't get up those stairs unless it's an emergency or they have good intentions," I remind her.

"Yeah, you're right," she agrees, smiling once more. "Oh, Lily, you know how much I've liked him— for years now," she gushes. "I really hope he actually wants to go out with me— and at least see where it goes, you know?" I smile at her, and she continues.

"Do you know how awesome it would be, with you and James together and Sirius and I together? We could hang out or go on double dates all the time," she says, clearly already planning for the future.

"Yeah, it'd be awesome," I agree.

"I hope our maybe-double-date at the Three Broomsticks isn't horribly awkward or anything," Marlene says, her eyebrows furrowing in concern.

"I'm sure it'll be fine. We've all been friends for years, it can't be that awkward," I reassure her.

"Do you think I should look for a Christmas gift for him?" she asks.

"I honestly have no clue. I'm completely stumped over what to get James."

"Boys are impossible to shop for," Marlene agrees.

x

x

x

x

 **James**

 _Saturday, December 8th_

"Fuck," Sirius says plainly as we browse Honeydukes, stocking up on sweets.

"What's your problem now, Padfoot?" I ask, letting out a great sigh as I add a large box of Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans to my shopping basket.

"What was I thinking, telling Marlene that I liked her? And asking her out?" he says, shakily grabbing a box of Every Flavour Beans to his own basket.

"To be fair, you hardly asked her out, mate," I say, laughing.

"Fuck you, Prongs," he says, glaring at me.

"Hey, that should make you feel better— it's not really a date. Lily and I will be there, too," I reassure him. I grab a few peppermint toads, which I've only just recently learned are Lily's favorite.

"I don't know how you do it, Prongs," Sirius says.

"Do… What…?" I ask, giving him a weird look.

"I dunno, talk to Lily and stuff? How do you know what to say?"

"Padfoot, you've snogged and shagged half of the girls at Hogwarts— clearly you know a thing or two about talking to a female."

"That's different, Prongs, and you know it— I actually like Marlene," he says.

"How cute," I say, tossing a heart shaped chocolate at him.

"Shove off," Sirius says, throwing the candy back at me. "Now seriously, how do you know what to say to her?"

"Remember how I acted like a complete idiot every time I was around Lily for the past six years?" I ask him.

"It's kind of hard to forget," Sirius says, raising his eyebrows at me.

"Well, that was before I had taken five minutes to have a serious conversation with her," I inform him. "Once we finally… You know, actually sat down and talked to each other— After that, I wasn't as nervous around her," I explain.

"How the fuck did you have the courage to do that, then?!"

"You're supposed to be a Gryffindor, you git," I tell him, starting down the next aisle of goodies.

"You know, you're entirely unhelpful," Sirius complains.

"My pleasure, as always," I say, filling my shopping basket to the brim. "Ready to go?" I ask, and we head to the checkout counter. After paying a hefty sum for several chocolates, the largest box of Every Flavour Beans, a few Sugar Quills, some Drooble's Best Blowing Gum, and a 5 separate gift packages of sweets for each of my friends for Christmas presents, Sirius and I leave Honeydukes, now on a serious mission to finish our Christmas shopping.

"What are you even supposed to buy a girl?" Sirius asks as we make our way down the long line of shops in Hogsmeade.

"I have no clue," I admit. "I haven't the slightest idea of what to get for Lily."

"Do I even get a present for Marlene? Will she be expecting one?" Sirius asks, a frightened look of uncertainty on his face.

"Who knows, mate," I tell him. "Although, part of me believes that girls are always expecting gifts."

"Great," Sirius mutters, kicking a large drift of snow.

"Let's check out Tomes and Scrolls— I want to get a book for Lily," I tell him. "And, hey— maybe they'll have some sort of girlish book you can get Marlene," I half joke, elbowing Sirius in the arm. We split up as we enter the store, Sirius browsing the specialty section of the store, which is currently filled with holiday gifts. I venture towards the back, searching for the perfect journal to get Lily to replace the nearly full one that Snape got her last Christmas. After reaching the section of journals, notebooks, and diaries, I become frightfully aware of how many different types of empty books there are. Journals with cloth covers, with leather covers, with dragon scale covers, with fur covered covers, and with paper covers; journals with blank pages or lined pages; tiny journals, medium journals, and large journals. After flipping through what feels like dozens of books, I finally find one that I think Lily will love— and that definitely beats the journal Snape got her last year. The cover is a dark reddish-brown leather, which tri-folds and closes with a brass lock on the front. The leather cover is etched with an intricate gold design. The yellowed pages are lined and are sewn into the spine. It is significantly thicker than most of the other journals, which I know will be perfect for Lily and should last her the entire year. I find a barn owl feather quill and a bottle of purple ink, and return to the front of the store in search of Sirius.

"I'm even more confused than ever," Sirius exclaims when I find him. "I can't find a single normal thing to get Marlene," he tells me.

"Let's look somewhere else, then," I tell him. After I've paid for Lily's gifts, we exit the store and return to the busy Hogsmeade street.

"Fuck, mate, I'm freaking out," Sirius says.

"Well, there's always jewelry," I point out. "My dad gets new jewelry for my mum nearly every Christmas," I tell him.

"Right, jewelry— that should be easy enough," Sirius agrees, looking slightly more relieved.

"Alright, then— let's try that shop next to Gladrag's."

x

x

x

x

 **Lily**

Marlene and I, accompanied by Alice, Camilla, and Roxanne begin our search for Christmas gifts at Tomes and Scrolls, where Alice finds a book for Frank, and Marlene finds a book for her dad. I browse around with Camilla and Roxanne, still unsure of what I'm going to get for James. Eventually, I find a trick quill with color-changing feathers that think he'll like. I also purchase a book on Wizarding history for my dad, who is always eager to learn more about the mysterious world that I'm part of. We move on to Honeydukes, where each of us buys a large haul of sweets for our families and friends. I buy some heart-shaped chocolates for James, as well as Drooble's Best Blowing Gum and Chocolate Frogs for my mum, dad and Petunia.

An hour into shopping, everyone else has found all of the gifts they need. In addition to the quill and candies for James, I've purchased a Broom Servicing Kit that I hope he'll find handy. But I still haven't found the meaningful gift I've been hoping I'll spot somewhere. I want to get James something more than just the average Wizarding merchandise he could buy on his own. On our way to Zonko's Joke Shop, I spot a tiny new shop that I've never noticed before. It's nearly unnoticeable next to the large, light-up sign and line of people trailing out of Zonko's. While my friends all pile into the crowd at the joke shop, I decide to take a peak in the new store and see what I find. 'Argil's Antiques' sports a crooked sign and a broken door handle, but is filled top to bottom with shelves of both muggle and wizard antiques, including jewelry, various dusty books, housewares, and more. I venture over to the small muggle section, and my eyes are immediately drawn to a collection of old fashioned pocket watches. I'm instantly reminded of the old brass pocket watch that my grandfather once sported, and ultimately passed down to my father. I smile at the memory, and play with the various pocket watches on the shelf. All of a sudden, I have the most amazing idea— I purchase two of the elegant watches, and make my way back over to Zonko's to find my friends.

Sirius

James and arrive at the Three Broomsticks before Lily and Marlene— which I'm not sure whether to be glad or upset about. We pick a table in the back of the shop where it's less crowded, and James orders four butterbeers.

"So, am I supposed to sit next to Marlene, or am I supposed to sit next to you?" I ask James as we reach our table.

"Erm… I dunno, mate, I hadn't really thought about that," James says, setting his shopping bags down beside the table.

"Well, help me out here, Prongs—" I stammer, my stomach already swirling.

"Sit across from me, then," James says, and we both sit down at the far side of the table. Only a few seconds later, James looks up and smiles at who I can only assume are Lily and Marlene. James stands up and meets Lily as she gets to the table, giving her a kiss before taking her shopping bags and pulling out her chair. Shit. Of course he has to be the perfect gentleman and leave me looking like an idiot.

"Er, hi," I say to Marlene, standing up and pulling out her chair as James did for Lily.

"Hi," Marlene says, smiling. I smile back and feel a sense of relief wash over me.


	13. Chapter 13

**_A/N: Hope you guys enjoy this nice long, DRAMA filled chapter! XX_**

* * *

 ** _Chapter 13_**

 _December 21st_

 **Lily**

It seems as if time has flown by, and before I know it, it's the night before the train leaves to return us to King's Cross Station to meet our families for the holiday break. Classes have come to an end for the year, and most teachers have shortened our load of homework in the past week, preparing for the excitement of the holiday season— with the promise to return to heavy homework loads after we return from holiday, of course. My friends and I are all finishing our last minute packing for holiday and wrapping Christmas presents. This year, we've decided to share our gifts with each other before Christmas, since we'll all be returning home during the holidays this year. I've received a nice load of sweets, a beaded bracelet from Marlene, a large, silky fuchsia scarf from Roxanne's summer trip to France, a book on influential muggle-born wizards from Alice, and a set of hand made owl bookmarks from Camilla.

After adding a few last-minute items to my trunk, including my Christmas gifts for James, I grab my journal and lean back in bed to write as my friends head down to the Common Room.

"I'll meet you guys down there in a bit," I tell them, and they leave me alone in quiet to write.

 _"The train to King's Cross Station leaves tomorrow morning. I'm excited (and a tad bit nervous) that I get to spend Christmas with James and get to meet his parents, but I'm feeling so conflicted otherwise. I know Christmas just won't feel the same this year. I'm still not over the fact that I won't be with my parents this holiday. The reminder that my dad will be having surgery while I'm free to spend time with James makes me feel horrible. We've planned for me to visit mum and dad the day after Christmas, assuming dad's surgery goes smoothly, which is good- but still not the same. It's stupid, but this feels like the first Christmas where I don't feel like a kid anymore. I won't wake up to my own family's decorated tree with our hand made angel on top; I won't wake up to presents under our tree in our living room; I won't get to unwrap presents and eat Christmas breakfast with my parents and my sister. It feels like a bit of my childhood is ending. Christmas was always one of my favorite times of year, especially because it meant going home to see my family._

 _I've also been missing Severus lately. I know I have other friends I can turn to— but it's just not the same as talking to Severus. I could tell Severus every single thing I was thinking without feeling as if I was arriving to class bare naked. Our relationship was just a different one than, say, Marlene and I's. I love Marlene to death, but Severus truly felt like my brother. I feel lost, as if he's died. Even worse, I still see him in the halls or in the Great Hall, always surrounded by his deplorable Death Eater friends. Every time I see him laughing with Lucious Malfoy, my heart stops for a moment. I know I have James to tell all of my worries and thoughts to, but that doesn't make me miss Severus any less. James can't replace Severus. I found myself thinking of gifts he'd like for Christmas the other day— and then realized it didn't matter— that we wouldn't be giving each other gifts this year._

 _Meanwhile, amongst all of my worries about dad and my sadness over Severus, I feel more and more love for James every single day. He has completely swept me off of my feet, and I am so completely in love with him that it doesn't even feel real. It's as if I'm Cinderella and he's my Prince Charming— no matter how corny that sounds. James is incredibly smart, which I had never realized before— the way he goofs around with his friends and is endlessly getting in trouble with our professors would make you think that he was just your average trouble maker who didn't care about his studies. But James isn't actually like that at all— he actually cares about his studies and works hard to get good grades. He has his adorable, mischievous, goofy side, but a sweet, loving and caring side as well. He makes sure to hug and kiss me every night before we part ways for bed, and goes out of his way to find me every morning before classes, always wishing me a good day and showering me in more kisses. I love the way he holds me, with one arm across my back and one arm over my head to hold me to his neck. I love how he always kisses my forehead before he kisses me on the lips. I love the shape of his hands— his long, skinny fingers are calloused from gripping his broom, but still soft. I love him so much, which seems so impossible considering we've only really been together for a couple of months. I know my parents and even our friends wouldn't understand how quickly we've become so close. I can't imagine a day without seeing James' face or hearing his voice."_

I stop writing, and realize that I've reached the very last page of my journal. I can't believe I hadn't noticed it was full already. I sigh, and set down my quill, and add my much-loved journal to the stack of books beside my nightstand, and head downstairs to the Gryffindor Common Room to find my friends, and James' warm lap.

x

x

x

x

 **James**

I smile when I notice Lily coming down the stairs. Our eyes meet, and she smiles back at me. She joins our friends and I at our usual section of the Common Room, a corner with a large fireplace and lots of seating. I'm sitting in my favorite arm chair— which has recently become even more of a favorite, since Lily is forced to sit in my lap if she wants to sit with me. As usual, she joins me in the large, cushy chair, and sits sideways in my lap; she drapes her legs over mine and rests her head on my shoulder. I wrap my arms around her tightly, and put my nose in her hair, kissing her temple. She smells of Lily— my favorite smell in the entire world.

"Hi, baby," I whisper in her ear.

"Hi," she whispers back, turning to look up at my face. I kiss her softly on the lips and squeeze her even tighter.

"Oi! Get a room, you two— you disgust me," shouts Sirius, who is sitting on the couch beside us, his arm wrapped around Marlene. Her legs are draped over his, just as Lily's are draped over mine.

"You're one to talk, you git," I joke, grinning at him.

"Did you guys hear about this?" interrupts Remus, who is sitting on the floor by the fire, newspaper in hand. "There's been a Giant uprising- the ministry sent Aurors to control it, but they couldn't stop them. Sixteen people— some muggles— are dead," he continues.

I glance at Lily, who I know gets the paper every single day.

"I didn't see anything about that— is it in today's paper?" she asks quietly.

"Yeah— but it's hidden way in the back. The article doesn't even have a whole page to itself," says Remus with a disgusted tone. "You saw the article a few days ago about all of the disappearances, right?" he asks, now talking mostly to Lily.

"Yeah," she says quietly, looking down at her hands. "Mostly Muggle families. A few well known blood traitor families, too."

We all sit in silence for a minute before Sirius speaks up.

"Hey, it's almost Christmas— we shouldn't be talking about shit like this," he says, forcing a smile. Everyone tries to perk up. But we all know that news of disappearances and uprisings have been the usual for the last few months— and that so far, no one has been able to do anything to stop it.

 **x**

 **x**

 **x**

 **x**

 **Lily**

Sirius starts up a conversation about holiday plans, and I excuse myself.

"I'll be right back," I whisper to James, and proceed to slide out of his lap and attempt to make a quick exit. He grabs my hand, gently pulling me back to him.

"Where are you going, love?" he asks quietly, his eyebrows furrowing in concern.

"Just— No where, I'll be right back," I say, and try to give him a reassuring smile. I make my way towards the Common Room exit, and slip out as quietly as I can, hoping no one notices me.

I don't know why, but I know I need to see Severus. My brain and my heart are fluttering with emotion— although, rather than fluttering with butterflies, they feel as if they are fluttering with hornets. My heart is telling me that there's no way Severus could know anything about what's been going on with all of the dark acts going on lately, and that there's no way he would ever actually truly betray me. But my brain is fighting me, telling me that I'm stupid for thinking he could truly be good and have nothing to do with this group of dark wizards.

I know exactly where I can find him— I know he won't be busy in his room doing some last minute packing, because he never goes home during the Christmas holiday. I know where he'll be— unless, of course, my brain is right, and he's hanging with a group of fellow death eaters, instead. I walk as quickly and as quietly as I possibly can, knowing that if I'm caught I can use my excuse as Head Girl for why I'm roaming the castle at night- but still hoping no one finds me.

When I reach the library, I don't have to look far to find him— sitting in the back right corner with only a lit lamp for light sits Severus, who sits stoically, reading a book. Severus and I both had a tendency to sneak down to the library after hours to get studying or reading done— no one would bother us, and I could always get away with it, being a scholarly Prefect and Head Girl.

"Severus," I say quietly— my voice sounds less harsh than I had wanted it to be. He jumps in surprise when he hears my voice, his face twisting in fright. Our eyes meet, and his expression softens.

"Lily," he whispers softly, standing up at his seat. "What are you doing here?"

"I… I was looking for you," I reply, wishing I had some better explanation for why I felt the need to seek him out. I know James or any one of my other friends could have just as easily calmed my nerves.

"Is something wrong?" he asks, closing his book and walking over to me. I'm still standing a few meters away from the table he was sitting at.

" _Yes_ ," I hiss. "Everything is—" I stop, unsure of what to even tell him. My throat begins to close up. Tears pierce my eyes.

"Lily," he whispers, putting his hands around my upper arms. He is several centimeters taller than me, and he towers over me. I look up at his face with an expression of both loathing and pain.

"Don't touch me," I say, shrugging his hands off of me and taking a long step back.

"What's wrong?" he murmurs, folding his arms over his chest.

"Everything in the news lately— stories about mass muggle murders with no logical explanation, even wizard deaths, and now— now a Giant uprising?"

"What about it?" Severus says plainly.

"People have been _disappearing…_ Muggles and blood traitors," I start, my voice shaking. "Severus, do you know anything about it? The deaths?" I ask, afraid to hear the answer. Our eyes meet again, but he doesn't answer.

"You know as well as I that it's the Dark Lord's doing."

"Severus, don't tell me you're— you're a _part_ of this," I whisper, my pulse quickening. "How could you take part in dark magic like this—"

"You wouldn't understand, Lily— I don't have a choice— and soon, no one will have a choice."

"What's _that_ supposed to mean?! Of course you have a choice— at least, you should be brave enough to stand up for what you believe in," I yell, dumbfounded at his ignorance.

"The Dark Lord is taking over, Lily. Within a year or two, the entire Wizarding World will be under his command. You're naive to think that anyone could stop him." Severus pauses and his expression changes for a split second. He reaches out for my arm again, but I pull back.

"Lily, listen— you… You won't be safe," he starts. "If you join our side now, you'll at least have a better chance—"

" _Join your side?_ " I hiss. "You clearly don't know me at all if you think I would ignore everything I believe in to join a group of dark wizards who are out to _kill_ muggle borns."

"Lily, don't be stupid— none of that matters anymore— no one is going to have a choice. You don't know half of what's actually going on out there. None of it is being reported in the Prophet. You join his side, or he'll have you— even your family— killed," Severus yells back, his face twisted into a pained expression.

"I'm not a mindless _follower_ like you, Severus. No one is going to force me onto their side by planting fears in my mind. I have a spine and thoughts of my own— unlike _you."_

"Lily, you don't understand— the Dark Lord is powerful and growing more so every day. If you aligned with him now, you might— I might— I might have a better chance of protecting you," Severus says, his voice breaking. I'm taken aback for a moment, but still so pissed at him that I barely realize what he's really trying to say.

"You have to know I'd die before signing up to become a Death Eater," I whisper. "And do you _really_ think I'd be safe even after joining the dark side? You're not that naive. You know what they think about muggle borns. You hear the nasty names Malfoy and Dolohov call me when they pass me in the halls. You should know— you called me one yourself."

"Lily, I tried to tell you— I tried to explain, I didn't mean what I said, you have to know that," Severus pleads, reaching out for me once more. "I made a mistake," he continues as I take another step away from him, landing against the wall. Severus' hands wrap around my upper arms again.

"Lily, I've missed you so much," he starts again.

"I've missed you, too— at least, I've missed my _friend_ Severus. Not the person you've become," I say quietly. My heart is pounding faster and faster— Severus doesn't release me from his grip, and I have no more room to back away from him.

"Lily, I'm still the same person," he murmurs. I can see that his eyebrows are furrowed together in upset, even though his long, dark hair nearly reaches his eyes.

"No, you're not! The Severus I knew would have never—" I start, but am interrupted when Severus' lips meet mine. He kisses me, his hands still gripping my arms. I try to pull away, but have no room. I pull my arms out of his grasp and place my hands on his chest, shoving him away from me. He falls backwards a meter or so, and I leave the wall, backing up into the open library.

"Severus— you know I'm with James— I _love_ James," I stammer, wiping my mouth with the back of my sleeve as I back away.

"How could you say that, Lily— How could you _love_ someone like James Potter?" he asks, his voice angry and hurt.

" _Someone like James Potter,"_ I repeat. "James is a wonderful person— he's kind, and sweet, and smart— And he's been there for me when you decided not to be," I cry.

"Oh, please, Lily. How many girls has he been with? A dozen? Two dozen? He's just a huge git whose goal has been to shag you since the day you met. He's been an arse to both of us since day one," Severus yells. I feel as if he's spraying venom at me. "And a few months ago you would have agreed with me! You really think he's with you because he cares about you? He doesn't know you like _I_ do. He can't protect you like _I_ can."

" _How- Dare- You,"_ I yell back, running back up to him and pushing him in the chest between every word.

"And after he's used you and thrown you away like a rag, I'll be the one who's there for you— I'll always be the one who loves you the most, Lily," he says quietly.

"You're crazy!" I yell, half laughing.

He takes a step towards me again, cutting me off. "You have to know how I feel— how I have _always_ felt about you. I've known you since we were children. We've been best friends for half our lives. We know each other better than we know anyone else. It's you and I who are supposed to be together, not you and _Potter_ ," Severus says, his lip curling as he recites James' name. He takes another step towards me.

"I know you feel it, deep down…" he trails off, and takes another step towards me. Before I have the sense to move away, to find my wand, or anything, he's holding onto me again, his mouth pressed against mine; it's so, so wrong. He's wrong. A shriek rises from my throat and I use all of my energy to push him off of me— again.

"I have never felt that way about you! Severus, you're like a brother to me!" I yell, backing away as quickly as I can. But before he can reply, he's thrown backwards and over a set of table and chairs. I flip around and see James with a look of fury on his face like I've never seen before. As Severus fumbles around and finally stands up again, James raises his wand again and silently attacks Severus again. They continue, each shooting spells at each other for several minutes; all I can do is watch in silence and disbelief: I know I won't be able to stop either one of them.

"SECTUM-"

As I hear the words begin to leave Severus's mouth, I leap into action almost subconsciously. My wand arm leaps from my side:

"STUPIFY!" I scream at Severus, and his body flies backward through the air.

Only I know the spell he was about to utter. And hearing him attempt to use it on my James brings about a cold, dead feeling in my body that churns my blood.

"You disgust me," I whisper in Severus's direction before turning and walking— nearly running— out the door. After I've made it several meters from the door, I finally stop and lean against the wall, out of breath and beaten down. Tears begin to fall from my eyes and I fall slowly to the ground.

"Lily," James' voice says from a few meters away. He finally reaches me and kneels down on the floor beside me, reaching his arms out to me. I immediately fall forward into his body, burying my face in his sweet-smelling chest.

"James," I sob, my voice muffled by his sweater.

"I want to kill that fucking— that son of a bitch—" James starts, clearly too angry to form any insult. He wraps his arms around me, holding me so tightly against him in his anger that it's almost painful.

"How much of that did you see?" I ask shakily.

"I believe I arrived just seconds before kiss number one," James says with a tone of disgust unlike any I've ever heard come out of his mouth.

"Why didn't you do anything then?" I ask, confused. James had plenty of time to step in and start hexing Severus before he actually did.

"I nearly lost it. But I wanted to see what you would do. I mean, if you loved him instead of me— I couldn't stop you from being with him," James says, his eyebrows furrowed together in a pained expression.

"James! You must know I don't feel that way about him! I never have," I insist, reaching up to touch his face, as if hoping that my touch will erase the dreadfully sad expression on his face.

"I gathered that after you stunned him," James says quietly, his expression softening a bit.

"Oh my god, James, you don't even know the half of it— the curse he was about to use on you, it's unforgivable!" I cry; this time, it's my face with the horrified expression on it.

"What was it?"

" _Sectumsempra._ It's a curse he invented himself; he's made up a few spells, but this one… This one is truly evil. I should have reported it to Dumbledore when I first found out about it, but I didn't— and look what could have happened! You could have _died_ had he used it on you, James!" I yell, tears forming in my eyes.

"Well, I guess I should just be glad I had you there to protect me," James murmurs, and pulls me towards his chest.

"Let's go back to the Common Room, love," he whispers a few minutes later.

x

x

x

x

 **James**

As I guide Lily's shaking body back inside the now empty Common Room and sit her down on an overstuffed couch, my own tears threaten to spill. Seeing Lily cry is probably one of the most horrible, most painful things in the entire world. As I sit down beside her, she crawls back into my lap. Her folded legs rest on my thighs, and she buries her face back into my chest. My heart shudders with love as I rub her back and kiss her sweet-smelling hair, waiting for her to calm down.

A few minutes later, her sobs have stopped, and I lift her head away from my chest.

"It's all over now, love; please stop crying," I murmur, wiping her wet tears from her soft cheeks.

"He— he's one of them," Lily says, her voice raising. "He's joined Malfoy and all of them. He wanted _me_ to join them."

" _What?!"_ I exclaim. "That fucking git— how could he think you'd ever stoop as low as he has." My heart is racing with anger— I want nothing more than to go back to the library, find Snape, and kick the living shit out of him.

"He told me that… That you're only with me to shag me, and then you'll leave me," she whispers, looking up at my face as she tells me. My jaw clenches together. Even though I witnessed Snape say this to Lily, I'm even more angry about it now that I'm hearing how upset Lily was by it.

"And… he kissed me… I'm sorry, James," she whispers, her chin quivering, threatening more tears.

"You are quite possibly the only girl in the world who would apologize after another guy kissed her," I murmur, trying to soothe my intensely angry thoughts with the fact that Lily has chosen to come back and be with me— and not disgusting, grimy Snape. Even so, I can't get the image of slimy Severus Snape's hands and lips all over _my_ Lily. I don't think I've ever felt this angry in my entire life.

"Lily, you know how much I love you, right?" I ask. I cup her cheek with my hand and look into her beautiful, bright green eyes.

"How much?" she whispers back.

"I love you like crazy cakes, sweetheart," I say, smiling down at her. "And… I've never _been_ with anyone else. I've never shagged anyone. And that's _not_ why I'm with you," I tell her, hoping that Snape hasn't planted any disgusting worries in her mind.

"I know," she says, lifting her head to kiss the tip of my nose.

"Good," I say, kissing her own nose. "Don't even waste your time thinking about what Snape said to you— none of that is even remotely true."

"I know," she says again, smiling at me.

"I'll keep you safe from him, Lily— from all of them," I whisper, spreading my arms around her back to hold her as tightly as possible.

"I know," she whispers back.

Lily adjusts in my lap so that her legs are wrapped around mine. She kneels over me so that she hovers just a few centimeters above me, and her lips hover on top of mine before I obliterate any space left between them. Her long, soft hair frames both of our faces as our lips meet; I kiss her hard and quick, my hands moving happily to her waist to pull her as close to me as possible. I squeeze her in my arms, and my anger slowly diminishes, distracted by Lily's warm, soft body. Without even thinking, my fingers slide under her shirt to hold onto her soft skin. My body goes hot with desire, and I want nothing more than to make love to her right here, right now— on the uncomfortable couch in the Gryffindor Common Room.

"Lily," I murmur against her soft lips a few minutes later, stroking her bare back under her shirt.

"Hmmm," she murmurs sexily back, bending down to bury her face in between my neck and my shoulder, giving me soft kisses alongside my neck.

"You'd better stop that before I do some rather inappropriate things to you," I say, and then gently flip Lily onto the couch so that she is laying on her back. I hover over her, returning her favor with several kisses down her neck. She lets out a soft, sexy groan and then giggles adorably, running her hands through my hair and making me wish we were somewhere other than the Common Room.

"You should get to bed, love. We have to get up early for the train," I say, breaking our kiss a few moments later, even though I want nothing more than to stay with her.

"No," she fake-whines, pouting her lips. "I want to stay with you."

"Just for a little while longer," I reply, giving in. We rearrange ourselves, now with me on my back, propped up against a couple pillows, and Lily sprawled against my chest. Our legs twist together, and Lily rests her head gently on my shoulder, her warm breath tickling my neck. Only a few minutes later, we both fall asleep in each other's arms.


	14. Chapter 14

**_Chapter 14_**

 _December 22nd_

 **James**

I wake up to high pitched screaming the following morning.

"James Fleamont Potter! What on Earth do you think you are doing?! Is this going to become a monthly thing for you two?" Sirius shouts at the top of his lungs. I feel Lily groan on top of me, and she props herself up on my chest to address Sirius.

"Shut up, you idiot," she tells him, and flops back down onto me.

"Jaaa-aaaames, your girlfriend called me a name!" Sirius yells back, still using an incredibly annoying and high-pitched voice.

"Shut the _fuck_ up, you idiot," I reply irritably, my eyes still closed. I want to enjoy having Lily resting on top of me for as long as I can. I stretch my arms from her mid-back down to her backside, and back up again.

"Oi! There are _children_ in here, Mr. Potter!" Sirius shouts. I sigh, and finally open my eyes. I slide up into a sitting position, gently part my body from Lily's, and jump off the couch, running after Sirius. I chase after him, going round and round the now crowded Common Room about a dozen times before he bolts up the stairs to the boy's dormitories and out of my reach. I return to Lily, who is standing beside the couch with Remus, and give her a quick kiss on the lips.

"I'll meet you in the Great Hall for breakfast," I tell her before heading for the stairs myself. As I head up, I hear a fifth year girl whisper to her friend: "They are the cutest couple I have _ever_ seen." A proud smile takes over my face.

x

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 **Lily**

After James heads up to his room, I say goodbye to Remus and head up to my own dormitory. I blush as practically the entire Common Room stares at me as I retreat.

"Was someone attacked down there, or what?" asks Marlene when I walk in.

"Well, James nearly attacked Sirius," I say, grinning at her.

"I thought I heard his voice," she replies, blushing.

Marlene, Alice, Roxanne, Camilla and I all get dressed and finish getting ready for breakfast.

"Sooooo, you and James spent the night together, then?" Alice prods a few minutes later.

"It was an accident," I say, trying to defend myself. "But yes, we fell asleep on the couch together last night," I say with a smile as I pull on a dark blue split crew neck top with soutache detailing the the front.

" _Suuure,"_ Alice kids back.

I quickly run a brush through my hair, annoyed that I won't have the chance to properly wash it before we leave on the train. I finger through my jewelry box, trying to find something nice to wear. As my friends wait semi-impatiently, I put on a nude eyeshadow and some mascara.

"You know, we're not going to a party— it's just breakfast," teases Camilla.

"I'm trying to look— I dunno, _good._ Since I'll be meeting James' parents today," I explain, feeling myself blush slightly.

"Lily, you're one of the most gorgeous girls in the entire school. _And,_ you're the smartest witch in the entire school. There's no way in hell James' parents won't love you," says Marlene, making me blush even deeper.

"Oh, shush," I mutter back, and join my friends at the door to make our way down to the Great Hall.

x

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x

The train ride from Hogwarts to London is as long as ever, but the company of all of my friends makes it an enjoyable trip. Sirius, James, Remus, Peter, Frank, Camilla, Alice, Roxanne, Marlene, and I all pack into one compartment, squeezing in together. The ride is filled with laughter, sweets, and impending joy for the holiday we have all been awaiting. When the train reaches King's Cross Station, we slowly unload our luggage and depart each other, wishing each other a happy holiday. James, Sirius, and I are the last three to leave the compartment. I'm so nervous to meet James' parents that I can actually feel my hands shaking as I carry my luggage. James seems to have noticed, and squeezes my hand tightly as we walk from the train and into the crowd of parents. Sirius spots Mr. and Mrs. Potter first, and rudely parts through the crowd to reach them, leaving James and I lagging behind. As we approach them, James glances towards me and gives me a grin, which neglects to soothe my nerves.

"You must be Lily," Mrs. Potter says warmly as we finally reach them. She takes my cold, shaky hand in both of hers in greeting.

"Yes— hi," I say, immediately wishing I had come up with something a little more polite and impressive to say.

"It's so good to meet you— we've heard so much about you, dear," she replies, a large smile on her face.

"And you," I reply, feeling myself blush. Mr. Potter takes my hand next, giving me a firm shake.

"We usually apparate from the station back to our home," Mrs. Potter tells me. "You can apparate, right, dear?" she asks.

"Oh— yes," I reply.

"Great. We'll see you three in a moment, then," she says, and almost immediately disappears along with her husband. James gives me a kiss on the cheek.

"Want to go with me?" he asks, reaching for my hand.

"Yes," I reply gratefully, and firmly clasp his outstretched hand. Luggage in hand, James apparates us to the Potter home. Seconds later, we're standing in a large kitchen. I glance around the room, taking in my surroundings. I can immediately tell that James' home is incredibly large. The spacious kitchen appears to have been recently renovated, sporting modern cabinets and new, shiny appliances. The open room flows from the kitchen area into a dining space with a long dining table and matching chairs. From the kitchen I can see into another large, spacious room— the living room. A tall, amply decorated tree shines from the far corner of the room.

"Welcome," James says quietly to me.

"I'll have your trunks sent upstairs— James, do you want to give Lily a tour before dinner?" Mrs. Potter says, shuffling over to us, wand in hand, pointed at our trunks.

"Of course," James replies. "Kitchen," he says, pointing towards the cabinets of the kitchen. "Dining room," he continues, pointing toward the large table. "Bathroom," he says, pointing at a door off of the dining room. Still holding my hand, he guides me into the living room. Our trunks float past us, and continue up the staircase.

"Living room," James says as we enter. The well-decorated room sports two large sofas, an arm chair, and a tall brick fireplace. The walls are full of coordinated picture frames, all sporting moving photographs. Most of the frames seem to have James' face— some of him as a baby, some as a child, and a few more recent photos. I smile as my eyes dart through them, seeing baby James' happy smile. We continue into the foyer in the front of the house, which leads to the right, back into the kitchen, and to the left, to a set of French doors. James points at the doors, and I peek through their windows.

"Dad's study," he tells me. The room has shelves full of books, a long, dark wood desk, and a chaise leaning against the front window. James leads me back towards the staircase by the living room, and we head up the stairs, which reveals a long, open hallway with multiple doors.

"The spare room— a.k.a., Sirius' room," James says as he twists the knob of the first door we pass, allowing me to peak in. The room is rather simple, with light blue walls, and large, made-up bed with a matching nightstand and dresser. The next door we pass leads to a full bathroom. James skips the third door, and leads me straight to the fourth one.

"Mum and dad's room," he says, opening the door to let me peak in. The room is huge, and sports tall, fancy furniture and a dark red color scheme, as well as an adjoining master bathroom. The fifth and final doorway leads to another spare room, full of furniture similar to Sirius' room. James leads me back down the hall and to the third door we passed— his room. We enter to find both of our trunks sitting at the foot of his bed.

James' room has dark wood furniture— a large bed with navy blue bedding, a long dresser, and a matching desk. The gray walls display two Quidditch team posters, a poster for a wizard band I've never heard of, and by his desk, a calendar with moving pictures of another Quidditch team. The room is fairly tidy— something I wasn't expecting. Two shelves above his desk are neatly organized with dozens of books and a few trinkets. His desk is nearly empty, holding only a lamp, some loose papers, a couple books, and various quills and bottles of ink. The bathroom adjoining James' bedroom follows the same navy blue color scheme.

"Well," James speaks up. "What do you think?" he asks. Before allowing me a moment's time to answer, he pulls me towards him and kisses me on the lips. Wrapping my arms around his back, I happily kiss him back.

x

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 **James**

Being home for holiday or over the summer is always enjoyable. But having Lily here with me makes it even better. It feels so natural to sit down for dinner with my parents, my best friend, and Lily. She fits in perfectly, and I can tell that both of my parents like her. After an early start to our morning and a long day, Lily, Sirius and I head to bed fairly early. Getting to take Lily to bed with me is quite possibly the most exciting thing about having her home with me.

"I can't believe your parents are letting me sleep with you," she whispers as I close my bedroom door.

"I told you— they're pretty cool," I say, smiling. I walk over to my dresser and take out an old t-shirt. Lily watches me as I pull off my long-sleeved top and slide out of my jeans. As I pull the t-shirt over my head, she opens her trunk and pulls out a toiletry bag and a set of pajamas.

"I'm gonna take a quick shower," she informs me, and enters the bathroom. I long to join her under the hot water.

"Let me grab you a towel," I say, following her in. She begins to brush her hair as I open the small bathroom cupboard, pulling out a set of blue towels.

"Here you go, baby," I say, setting them on top of the sink counter. I give her a long kiss before leaving her. I spend most of the twenty minutes Lily spends in the bathroom laying on my back in bed, my hands behind my head, imagining myself in the shower with her. When she finally comes out of the bathroom, her long, wet hair is just beginning to start curling at the ends. She's wearing a tight-fitting, long-sleeved purple pajama top with matching polka dot pajama bottoms. She climbs into bed and lays down beside me. After quickly brushing my teeth and peeing, I return to my bed and pull back the covers. I unfold the thick, soft blanket from the foot of my bed and drape it over Lily's body. I join her under the covers, and pull my thin quilt over us. Lily and I immediately reach for each other, and in a matter of seconds, we're snuggled together, laying as close as our bodies can possibly be. After sharing a few kisses, my hands run underneath Lily's pajama top and up her soft back. I stroke her skin softly, and after a few minutes, I can tell she has fallen asleep. As I, too, begin to drift into slumber, I smile, thinking about how nice it is to fall asleep with Lily in my arms.


	15. Chapter 15

**_A/N:_** Hello all! Thank you for being so patient while waiting for this next chapter, as I know it took me a bit longer than usual to get this one up. I really hope you enjoy this chapter; there are several pivotal moments that develop in Lily and James's relationship! As always, I love to hear your feedback and comments. Enjoy!

* * *

 ** _Chapter 15_**

 _December 24th- Christmas Eve_

 **Lily**

The past few days at the Potter home have been truly lovely. I'm having such a good time that I actually find myself able to keep my mind off of my mum and dad, and the fact that I'm not with my own family this Christmas. Being able to spend so much time with James is the best part of the holiday, so far. Getting to be by his side, holding his hand, or cuddled up against him all day long is amazing. With no classes or homework or annoying friends pestering us and getting in our way, I've been able to spend every waking moment with James. Christmas Eve comes quickly, and Mrs. Potter spends the day cooking and baking while James, Sirius, and I spend the day relaxing and hanging out. James and Sirius play several games of Wizard's Chess while the three of us chat. After lunch, James and I help Mrs. Potter make several batches of Christmas cookies and a pie. Even though she has the ability to use magic to do the baking for her, Mrs. Potter prefers to mix and bake by hand.

x

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 **James**

After our traditional Potter family Christmas Eve dinner of roast duck, I leave Lily alone with Sirius in the living room, where mum has had Christmas music playing the entire day, hoping that he doesn't annoy the shit out of her. As my mum finishes cleaning up from dinner, I follow her up to the large bedroom she shares with my dad.

"Mum— I wanted to ask you," I begin nervously. "You know the locket grand dad gave grandma? The one he always said he got for her when he realized she was 'the one'?"

"Mmhmmm," my mum replies suspiciously, raising her eyebrows.

"I… I'd like to give it to Lily," I tell her, hoping for the best.

"You don't think it's a bit soon to be giving her grandma's locket?" she asks.

"I know you don't understand— or, you think we've moved too fast— but I love her, mum. I really do. I've loved her for years, and—"

"I know you have, darling," she says, reaching her arms out to grasp my shoulders. "And I trust you— if you think Lily is the one you want to give the locket to, and if you think now is the right time— you know I'll give it to you, sweetheart. And, I'm not getting any younger— so I suppose now is as good a time as any to give it to you," she says, smiling at me, and pulling me towards her for a hug. She's a good six inches shorter than me— but she still forces me to bend down for her every time she hugs me. She lets go of me a few moments later, and walks over to her large chest of jewelry. After digging around for a moment, she lifts out an old, worn leather box. She opens the box, taking a look at the locket before handing it to me, a smile on her face.

The locket is small, gold antiqued, and dainty— the locket itself is just under an inch long. The face of the locket has an intricate floral design with a small emerald stone in the middle— the birthstone that both my granddad and my grandma shared. It was meant to be that Lily, with her emerald eyes, receive this locket.

"Thanks, mum," I say, gently closing the small box and bending down to hug her once more. "Mum?" I start again. "You and dad— you like her, right?" I ask. She smiles warmly at me.

"She's lovely, darling," she replies.

I head to my bedroom to tuck the locket away, and when I return downstairs a few minutes later, Lily and my mum are sitting side by side in the living room, looking through a large family album. Sitting on the floor next to my mum is a stack of photo albums, and I momentarily feel bad for Lily, knowing mum will force her to look through every single one of them. I join them on the couch, sitting beside Lily, and look on with them.

"Here's James when he was just a week or two old- yes, he was born with a full head of crazy, jet-black hair," my mum says, pointing to a photo of a small, sleeping baby in a bassinet. "He was such a good-tempered baby. Never too fussy," she adds.

"He wasn't even a year old at his first Christmas, but _someone_ insisted on buying him a toy broomstick," mum speaks up a few pages later. "It floated a foot or two up in the air and everything," she continues, and she turns the page to reveal a ton of photos of my father holding me up on the floating broom.

"James _loved_ that silly old toy broom— he rode it around the house until he was nearly five and finally outgrew it," she says, smiling to herself.

"He was adorable," Lily adds, turning and smiling at me.

x

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 **Lily**

After we've gone through almost a dozen family albums, nearly all of them full of photos of James as a child, and I've heard every adorable story that corresponds with each of them, we all retreat to bed. Sirius heads to the guest bedroom, Mr. and Mrs. Potter to their room, and James and I to his bedroom. Already wearing our pajamas, James and I brush our teeth and climb into bed. Before joining me under the covers, James slips out of his wool pajama bottoms, now wearing only his boxers and a t-shirt, and shuts off his bedroom light.

We lay in bed, James holding me from behind, his arms wrapped around my stomach, pulling me as close to his body as he can. He buries his face into my neck, giving me soft, sweet kisses. I roll around in his arms, wrapping my arms around his neck, and touching my nose to his. His hand moves from my mid back, down my body, and to my mid-thigh, and he pulls my leg up around his waist. Our lips meet, and we kiss. I wish with all of my heart that we could spend every single night in each other's arms— but I know this bliss will end as soon as we arrive back at school.

"Lily?" James whispers, his hand sliding back up from my thigh, up my spine, and into my hair.

"Yes, love?" I whisper back, tangling my hands in his hair in return.

"Can I make love to you?" he asks.

Startled, my heart flutters and I kiss him softly on the lips before answering. "Yes."

James' hand runs under my t-shirt-turned pajama top, touching my bare skin and sending shivers up my spine. He kisses me again, each kiss longer and sweeter than the last. He lifts my chin and kisses me softly, and both of his hands move up my bare back underneath my shirt. I slide my own hands underneath his night shirt and up his skinny, warm chest. We kiss for a few more minutes before James gently pulls my t-shirt over my head, letting it fall to the side. He leans over me, and I roll onto my back. He kisses me again, sending shivers down my body as my bare skin is chilled by the cool air. His lips move from my lips down to my chin, then up my jaw to my earlobe, and then slowly down my neck. My entire body is covered in goosebumps. James continues to place soft kisses all over my bare skin. His lips finally reach my breasts, and he strokes me with his fingers as he continues to kiss my body. His lips move down to my belly button, and then to the last bit of my uncovered skin at the edge of my fleece pajama bottoms. As he kisses the line of skin just above my pants, His thumbs find their way under my underwear, and he slips off both layers of my remaining clothing. James' mouth returns to my lips, and he wraps his arms around me, holding me close to him and soothing my hundreds of goosebumps. A few moments later, I stop him.

"It's your turn," I whisper, and I press gently on his shoulders, maneuvering him carefully onto his back. I resume his previous position, putting my thighs around his waist, and gently remove his t-shirt. I run my hands up his curved, muscular arms, and then down his soft chest.

"God, Lily, I want you so bad," he says, his hands on my hips. Even in the darkness, I feel myself blush, and I return my lips to his. I lean down against his body, our bare chests pressing together. His body is so incredibly soft and warm against mine. Forcefully, but gently at the same time, James grasps my waist and returns me to my back. He hovers over me, quickly and easily removing his boxers. He leans over to his bedside table and slips on a condom.

"Are you ready, my sweet girl?" he murmurs softly, bending back down towards me, placing his hand against my cheek.

"Yes," I whisper, nervousness engulfing me. He begins kissing me again— long, soft, sweet kisses— and moments later, a sharp pain radiates my pelvis as he enters me. In unison, we both let out soft moans.

"Are you okay, love," he asks, holding still for a moment.

"Yes," I reply, my hands wrapping around his back to hold his body close to mine. Just a few seconds later, the pain is gone.

"I love you, my Lily," James whispers.

"I love you," I whisper back, stroking his low back. He kisses me softly, and I moan into his mouth as he thrusts slowly into me. My entire body warms as we make love, James caressing my bare skin and loving me the entire time. Only a few minutes later, it's over. James lays down on his back, and I wrap my body around his. My legs lock with his, and I touch his smooth face. One of his arms wraps around my back, the other rests on my head, his fingers intertwined with my messy hair.

"Lily, baby," he whispers. "I love you."

"I love you, too, James," I whisper back, placing a few kisses on his bare chest. It seems only seconds later that I fall asleep against his warm body, his fingers stroking my back and lulling me to sleep.

x

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 **James**

The next morning, I'm awoken with a start— my bedroom door bursts open, and Sirius' voice scares me half to death.

"Prongs! Wake up! It's _Christmas!"_ he cries, similar to every child in Britain waking their parents at the crack of dawn. Lily wakes beside me, her body curled up and still pressed against mine. I sit up slightly, making sure the covers are pulled up around us.

"Great, mate," I say, glaring at him.

" _Ooooh,"_ Sirius murmurs. "I'll, uh, meet the two of you downstairs, then," he says, backing out of my room and closing the door behind him. My attention immediately goes to Lily and her warm, naked body next to me, tangled in my sheets.

"Sorry about that, baby," I say, sliding back underneath the covers and wrapping my arms around her. We hold each other for a few moments, and I stroke her soft skin before regretfully letting go of her body and sliding out of bed. I pull on the pants that fell to the ground the night before.

"I'll let you get dressed, love," I say, smiling at her as I enter the bathroom adjoining my bedroom. _Holy shit_. Lily and I made love last night. I, James Potter, had sex with _Lily Evans._ I can hardly believe that it's true. I grin to myself as I quickly empty my bladder and splash some water on my face, giving Lily time to get dressed. I exit the bathroom just as Lily is pulling her night shirt over her head. I walk up to her and wrap my arms around her, squeezing her tightly.

"Good morning, beautiful," I whisper in her ear. "Happy Christmas," I say, smiling down at her.

"Happy Christmas," she whispers back, laying her head on my chest and squeezing my torso.


	16. Chapter 16

**_Chapter 16_**

 _Christmas Morning_

 **James**

Sirius, Lily, and I all sit on my living room floor before the giant, well-decorated tree in the corner of the room. My mum and dad sit close together, arms around each other on the couch beside the tree. We begin to divide gifts among ourselves, handing each other the gifts we have already placed under the tree for each other. Lily's owl delivered the presents her mum and dad had sent for her early that morning, leaving them at the kitchen door. I've put the journal and sweets I've gotten for Lily under the tree, but left the locket tucked away in my bedroom to give to her when we're alone. Sirius' parents have sent him a single parcel, also delivered early this morning. My parents have placed the majority of the gifts under the tree— gifts for me, for Sirius, for Lily, as well as to themselves. After each wrapped present is sitting before its recipient, we begin to take turns unwrapping presents. My mum has knit sweaters, scarves, and hats, as she does every year, for Sirius, my dad and I; and, this year, for Lily. I'm especially happy to see that she's included Lily— for whom she has crocheted a dark red cardigan sweater, as well as a matching purple hat and scarf. Lily blushes as she opens the packages, thanking my mother over and over again. Lily's parents have sent her several muggle books, as well as a calendar for the upcoming year. Her mum has picked out a blue top and two new pairs of jeans for her. With her gifts is a Christmas card from both of her parents, including the family portrait Lily tells us was taken over the Summer for their family Christmas card. Lily loves the journal I picked out for her, and hugs and kisses me in thanks. My gifts include a new Broomstick Servicing Kit and a long, a color-changing quill from Lily, a load of sweets from both Sirius and my parents, as well as several pieces of clothing from my parents. After each present has been unwrapped, and the living room floor is littered with paper and gifts, mum conjures up several mugs of hot cocoa and a platter of her special Christmas morning pound cake. We all eat in silence, enjoying each other's company. Lily and I have moved to the large arm chair, Lily's legs draped daintily over mine. After we've all had second and third helpings of cake, I slide out of the comfy arm chair, taking Lily with me. I hold her hand and smile at her, guiding her back towards my bedroom.

"I have another present for you," I tell her after we've reached my room. I close the door and guide Lily to my bed, where she sits down.

"I have something else for you, too," she tells me, smiling. I walk over to my dresser and open the top drawer, fishing around my socks until I find the worn leather box. I go back to Lily, sitting down next to her on my bed.

"Lily… I love you. I hope you know how much I love you," I tell her quietly, looking into her bright green eyes. "This belonged to my grandmother. My grandpa bought it for her. She wore it nearly every time I saw her. My grandpa told me he bought it for her after he realized she was 'the one'," I tell her. I slowly open the box to reveal the gold locket. Lily gasps softly and covers her mouth with her hands.

"Oh, James, I can't take this," she says, her eyes widened.

"Oh, yes you can, my love," I reply, and take the necklace out of the box it has sat in since my grandmother's death. I unclasp the lobster clasp, and Lily pulls her hair out of the way for me to put the necklace around her dainty neck.

"James, it's so beautiful— and the emerald," she breathes, examining the locket with her fingers.

"It's almost as if it was meant for you, isn't it?" I say, bending forward to meet Lily's lips and give her a quick kiss. She smiles up at me.

"Thank you, James. It's beautiful. I love it," she says softly, reaching up to hold the locket in her fingers. She stands up and opens up her trunk. After digging to the bottom, she pulls out a long, skinny box. Returning to my bed, she hands me the box, a big, adorable grin on her face.

I lift the lid to reveal two old-looking pocket watches.

"Pocket watches?" I ask, incredibly confused.

"I enchanted them," she says, and picks one of the watches up out of the box. "Watch this," she instructs, still grinning. She opens the pocket watch and brings it to her lips.

"I love you," she whispers into the face of the watch. "Now, open yours," she tells me.

Still confused, I open the second watch. The back of the opened lid to the watch, opposite the face of the watch has the words " _I love you"_ etched into it.

"Bloody hell, Lily. You're a genius," I tell her, dumbfounded at how she could have possibly managed to create such an enchantment.

"Go ahead, test yours out," she encourages me.

"I love you more," I whisper into the watch. Lily faces her pocket watch towards me with a grin on her lips, revealing the words I just whispered etched onto the back of the lid.

"Now when we're apart, we'll be able to send messages to each other. They glow and become hot when there's a message waiting inside," she explains.

"Lily, you're seriously brilliant," I tell her, impressed and proud to call her mine. As usual, she blushes at my compliment.

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The remainder of the day is casual and relaxing. My family, Sirius, and Lily — who I hold in my arms for what seems like the entire day— and I spend much of the day in the living room together, playing board games or just sitting, listening to Christmas music. But I spend most of the day wishing for night to return so that I can take Lily back to my bedroom and be with her— alone. Much of my thoughts throughout the day consist of the wonderful night Lily and I shared. I am already anxious for our return to Hogwarts, when we won't be able to share a bed anymore. For once, I silently thank Sirius for waking us all up at the crack of dawn— for we get to head to bed sooner than usual. The minute my bedroom door closes behind us, I grab Lily in my arms and press my lips against hers. I've been longing to kiss her soft lips all day. I wrap my arms around her waist, and her arms slide quickly around my neck, bringing our bodies close together.

"I've wanted you so badly all day," I tell her a few moments later, resting my forehead against hers.

"Have you?" she whispers back, sliding her hands from the back of my head, down my neck, and to my cheeks. My body quickly becomes covered in goosebumps as she gently cups my face in her small, soft hands.

"Yes— now get into bed with me," I order playfully, giving her a quick kiss on the lips and letting go of her waist. We both quickly and eagerly get ready for bed, and only a few minutes later, we're holding each other under the covers again.

x

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 **Lily**

James and I lay in his bed on our sides, facing each other. His arms are wrapped around my body, and my hand rests gently on his waist. As we kiss slowly, James places one of his hands on the back of my head, holding my lips to his, and deepens our kiss. My heart flutters even faster as he hold on to each other as if we need to stay this close in order to keep breathing. My top leg slides over James', bringing our bodies even closer together.

James groans softly. "Lily, why are you doing this to me?" he murmurs quietly.

"Doing what?" I ask, in between kisses.

"Making me want you so bad," he replies, pulling on my hip, trying to force our bodies to become as close as humanly possible.

"Do you want me to stop?" I tease, placing my hands on his chest and pulling my lips from his.

"Don't you dare," he says," moving his head to diminish the space between us once more. Our arms wrap around each other once more, and James gently pushes me onto my back. Never taking his lips from mine, he moves his body to hover over mine. He then breaks our kiss, moving his lips slowly down my neck. His hands slide up the sides of my waist and underneath my pajama top. He pauses at the neckline of my shirt, looking down at me for permission. I raise my arms, allowing him to pull my t-shirt off, and he continues kissing my body from where he left off. A few moments later, we are both naked. I love the feel of James' soft, smooth skin against me, and I do my best to stroke every inch of him that I can reach. James kisses me, one hand in my hair, and the other hand below my waist. My legs tingle and my toes curl, and I have to concentrate to continue kissing him. Soon, we are making love again, just as we did last night.

"Lily," James whispers as he makes love to me.

"James," I whisper back, squeezing his back tightly.

"I love you, baby," he says as he finishes, and lays his head on my chest. I wrap my arms around his head, running his thick, messy hair through my fingers.

"I love you more," I murmur. James remains with his head on my chest for a few more minutes as our heart rates go back to normal. Then, we switch positions, and I curl my body with his, resting _my_ head on _his_ chest. We fall asleep in each other's arms, and my dreams are silent and peaceful.


	17. Chapter 17

**_Chapter 17_**

 _December 27th_

 **Lily**

Two days after Christmas, I can finally go see my dad. He's now four days post-operation, so he's getting back to his usual self and can have visitors. I hardly sleep the night before, too full of both excitement and nervousness. I'm thrilled that I get to see my dad, as well as mom, and even Petunia. But I'm nervous to see my dad in such a fragile state, hooked up to machines and in so much pain. I'm nervous for my family to meet James for the first time, too. I don't doubt that James will make a good first impression, but he will be one of the only other wizards they have ever met.

I'm up and ready to go earlier than need be; I put on the new blue sweater my mom sent for Christmas, the beautiful locket from James, and my favorite pair of emerald earrings from my dad, which match the locket perfectly. Mrs. Potter has a lovely breakfast ready for James and I when we arrive downstairs: fresh scrambled eggs, English muffins, and a hot pot of tea.

The clock finally reaches 9 o'clock, and I look over at James in anticipation.

"Ready?" he asks pointlessly. I nod.

We stand up off of the couch and I turn to look up at him; I place my hand around his jaw and rub my fingers on his smooth skin.

"You shaved," I point out.

"I thought I'd make a better impression on your parents if I was a little less scruffy," he says, smiling.

"I liked you scruffy," I fake-pout.

"I'll remember that," he says, bending his neck to kiss me on the forehead.

We clasp hands and apparate out of the living room.

x

x

x

x

It takes us a while to navigate the huge hospital and find my father's room. James walks beside me with a permanently stunned look on his face, clearly in awe of the muggle hospital, which is unlike anything he's ever seen before.

"This place is a madhouse," he mutters to me as we stand alone in an elevator that takes us up to the eighth floor.

I give him a small smile. "It's what all hospitals are like," I inform him.

"Everyone is wearing such weird outfits," he adds; I assume he's referring to the doctors and nurses.

"It's their uniform— it's pretty typical."

The elevator dings and the doors slowly slide open to reveal a hallway identical to every other hallway we've walked through since arriving. Reading the sign on the wall, I determine that we should go left. A few minutes later, we finally find dad's room, number 813.

"Hi daddy," I breathe as I walk through the door and see my dad laying on the hospital bed, slightly propped up by several pillows with a newspaper in his hand. He's hooked up to several machines; his head is bald from chemotherapy and his eyes are sunken in. Otherwise, he looks like my dad.

"There's my girl," he says, a huge grin spreading across his face. I stride towards him and engulf him in a hug.

"Be careful!" hisses Petunia from the far corner. I hadn't even noticed her sitting there until now.

"I'm fine, Tuney," dad says as he returns my hug.

"How are you feeling, daddy? Are you in any pain? Have the doctors said anything?" I ask as soon as I leave his arms.

"Whoa, slow down there, Lilypad!" he says, half-chuckling, half-grimacing. "Why don't we wait until your mum gets back to discuss the surgery. She just left for coffee a few minutes before you and your friend arrived," he says, looking up at the doorway, where James is still standing.

"Are you going to introduce us?" dad asks, referring to James.

"Oh, yes, of course! Sorry," I stutter. "Dad, Petunia, this is James Potter. He's my boyfriend. We've been seeing each other for a couple months now," I say. As the words come out of my mouth, I feel a hot blush creep up the back of my neck and spread across my cheeks.

"It's nice to meet you, James. Sorry it had to be under these circumstances," says dad, with the same half-smiling, half-grimacing expression.

"It's nice to meet both of you," James says politely.

"… I had to wait for them to make a fresh pot of coffee— what kind of hospital runs out of coffee, isn't that what everyone is living off of here? Oh," mum says, ending her rant as she enters the room and discovers James and I have arrived.

"Hello, Lily, dear," she says, walking briskly towards me. After setting down the two cups of coffee she's carrying in her hands, she wraps her arms around me in greeting.

"Hi, mum," I say as I breath in the familiar smell of the perfume she's worn my entire life.

"Mum, this is James, my boyfriend," I say as we break apart. James takes a step forward and reaches out to shake mum's hand.

"Nice to meet you," he says.

"And you," she replies. She makes small talk with me for a few minutes before I can't take it any longer:

"So, mum, dad— how did the surgery go?" I ask nervously.

Mum sighs. I don't take that as a good sign. My eyebrows furrow together.

"The tumor in his liver was bigger than they expected, and they weren't able to remove all of it. It didn't go as well as we had hoped," says mum, sighing again.

"What does that mean?" I ask, my heart beating faster and faster.

"Well, there's still the chemotherapy and radiation for the time being, and dad has been added to the list for a liver transplant."

"A _transplant_?" I gasp. "That sounds… that sounds really serious."

"It isn't what we were hoping for," mum repeats, glancing at dad.

"But it's not the end of the world, Lilypad," dad adds. "They're going to keep me in the hospital for the time being to keep an eye on things."

"Oh, daddy," I whisper, tears flooding my eyes. James steps towards me almost immediately, placing his hand on my back.

"It's going to be okay, Lilypad. Here, come sit next to me and tell me all about school," he says, patting a spot in bed next to him.

"Mother! Shut the door if she's going to talk about… _You know what,_ " hisses Petunia in a horrified tone.

x

x

x

x

About half an hour later, it's clear that dad is exhausted. His eyelids are drooping as if he can barely keep them open.

"The pain meds he's on make him groggy, dear," mum murmurs in my ear.

"Vernon should be here any minute to pick me up," Petunia speaks up. "We can leave together," she adds. I know she doesn't want James and I here any longer than absolutely necessary; she's probably terrified we'll accidentally do magic in front of a nurse and cause some sort of scene.

"Daddy, I guess we're going to get going now," I say, grasping dad's hand. "I love you, daddy. Will you write to me?" I ask.

Petunia nearly has a conniption. "You can't send him letters _here_! They can't have _owls_ flying throughout a _hospital_ , Lily," she hisses, as if I've lost my mind.

"Right. Well, when you get home, then," I rephrase hopefully.

"Of course I will, Lilypad," dad murmurs. "I love you, darling," he says, squeezing my hand.

"I love you, daddy," I repeat, bending over to give him one last gentle hug.

After saying my goodbyes to mum, Petunia, James, and I exit dad's hospital room and head back to the elevator. When we reach the main lobby, I quickly spot Vernon sitting in a lounge chair. He sees Petunia an instant later, and strides over to meet the three of us.

"Petunia, dear," he greets my sister, giving her a peck on the cheek.

"Lily," he nods to me.

"Nice to see you, Vernon," I mutter. "This is my boyfriend, James," I add. James and Vernon shake hands.

"I want to talk to you before we leave. _Alone_ ," says Petunia huffily.

"Fine," I say, holding back a pained sigh. "Erm, I'll be right back, James," I say, giving James an apologetic look as Petunia drags me away. After finding an empty space, she begins digging into me immediately.

"I can't _believe_ you brought _him_ here, could you have picked a more inappropriate time to introduce your _boyfriend_ to your family? Mum and dad must have been beside themselves," she begins, giving me a look that could kill.

"What are you talking about, Petunia? Mum and dad were fine with James being there. James is like… he's like family to me, too. Of course I wanted mum and dad to meet him, and it's not like I'd get another chance to introduce them any time soon," I shoot back.

"You shouldn't be bringing another one of _your kind_ into a place like this, filled with _normal_ people!" she hisses, glancing to her left and right to make absolutely sure that no one is overhearing her.

"Oh, please, Petunia. Give me a break. What do you think is going to happen? One of us is going to set off some sort of alarm or something? Or that witches and wizards have radioactive powers that will, I don't know— shut down a respirator machine, or something?"

Petunia gives me a glare like no other. "Don't… Say… Those… Words… Here," she stammers.

"What? Witch and wizard? You're acting like a child, Petunia," I say, my voice rising.

"And could you have been any ruder to Vernon?! He's going to be my husband, you know!" she adds. I laugh in her face.

"You didn't say _one word_ to James. Not one word! I only saw Vernon for a couple of minutes, what were you expecting?" I fight back.

We both stare at each other for a few moments.

"I'm leaving now. _Please_ update me if anything happens with dad," I say quietly. " _Please_ ," I add, for good measure. I turn away from her and walk back towards James and Vernon, both of whom, thankfully, seem to be having a polite chat.

x

x

x

x

 **James**

"Lily," I call as I finally see Lily returning to my side. "You ready to go?" I ask, eager to get away from the heinous man standing beside me as quickly as possible.

"Yes. Goodbye Vernon. Good to see you again," she says before grasping my hand and steering me away. I'm not sure where we're headed, but I follow Lily's brisk pace until she finally stops in an empty hallway.

"My god, Petunia can be _so difficult_!" Lily yells, her cheeks pink.

"I had gathered that. How well do you know that guy, Vernon? Weirdest bloke I've ever spoken to in my life. He asked me what I planned to do after we _graduate from boarding school,_ and then he asked me where I parked my car. It took several minutes to make him understand that I don't _have_ a car, which seemed to be a foreign concept to him. Luckily he spent most of the time talking about his job— whatever the hell that is," I say, giving Lily the run-down.

"He's awful. But he and Petunia are perfect together," Lily replies. "You wouldn't believe the garbage Petunia was saying to me. She said I shouldn't have brought you here, to a muggle hospital filled with _normal_ people, and that it was _inappropriate_ for me to introduce you to my mum and dad here."

"So… She didn't like me, then?" I ask, giving Lily a smile.

"She doesn't like anyone."

"It's okay, love," I say, taking Lily into my arms. We stand in the middle of the empty hallway for several minutes, just holding each other.


	18. Chapter 18

A/N: To all of my lovely readers, thank you so much for being patient with me. I know it's been a while since I updated this story. I have many more chapters written, but I have been crazy busy in my final year at uni! Once again, I'm so sorry if you were waiting on another chapter. I will do my absolutely best to go back to my previous schedule of updating weekly. Thank you so much to those who have stuck around and I hope you enjoy this update! ~Rachelle8

* * *

 _ **Chapter 18**_

 **James**

I can tell that Lily is shaken up after our hospital visit, but she hasn't said a word to me about it. I don't know whether or not I should bring it up or try and push her to talk about it with me. After we arrive back at my house, Lily is sulky and quiet for the rest of the afternoon. Sirius and I sit in the living room paying Wizard's Chess and Lily sits stoically beside me, clearly lost in her own thoughts. Finally, she excuses herself.

"James? I'm going to go upstairs for a while," she says softly, barely making eye contact with either me or Sirius.

"Alright, love," I murmur, giving her a kiss on the forehead before she walks up the staircase.

"Erm, so what happened at the hospital?" Sirius asks carefully as soon as Lily has made it upstairs.

"Her dad's surgery didn't go as well as they had hoped. They said he was on a transplant list? I don't really know what that means. And her sister and her fiancé were an absolute nightmare," I tell him, struggling to make a move on the chessboard.

Sirius nods and gives me a sympathetic expression. I'm almost glad that he doesn't have any sound advice to give me, which would only make me feel more helpless in trying to make Lily feel better.

"I dunno if now is a bad time, but Marlene and I were writing today and she wanted to make plans to meet up tomorrow or the next day," Sirius announces a few minutes later.

"I'll have to ask Lily. I don't know if she wants to just be alone, or if it would make her feel better to see Marlene and have a bit of a distraction…" I trail off.

x

x

x

 **Lily**

I feel so withdrawn from James and Sirius that I finally decide to go upstairs and hopefully get some time to myself. The only way I know to clear my head is to write my heart out, so I lay down in James's bed and pull out the new journal James got me for Christmas and start writing.

 _"Dear Journal,_

 _My name is Lily Evans. Blimey, I never know how to start a new journal off. So much has happened in the past week since I finished off my last journal that I don't even know where to begin. My mind is spinning with everything that has been going on. I feel so lost and confused about everything right now. I guess I'll start from where I left off in my old journal._

 _Out of sheer stupidity on my part, I went and sought out Severus the night before we left Hogwarts for holiday. I felt angry and confused, and I guess I felt like I might find answers in the person I used to confide in. That was a terrible plan, because Severus was completely insane. He KISSED me— twice. He tried to defend the Death Eaters. And, he nearly used a horrible curse on James. He could have killed James with that curse had I not been there to stop him. It was absolutely horrifying. It clarified that Severus and I will never repair our friendship— not after what he did that night._

 _Now I'm at the Potter's home with James and Sirius for our holiday. James's parents have been so lovely and welcoming to me. It seems like ages ago now, but on Christmas Eve, James and I made love in his bed. It was so surreal, and James was so sweet and perfect. Christmas Day was wonderful; James gave me this beautiful journal and a beautiful gold locket that used to belong to his grandmother. I still can't believe he gave me something so personal to his family. I don't quite know if I feel that I deserve to wear it. I'm having such a good time at his house, spending time with him and getting to know his parents, that I feel conflicted in feeling so happy while so many other terrible things are going on._

 _Today, James and I went to visit my dad in the hospital. He had his surgery a few days ago, and the doctors were meant to remove the tumor growing in his liver. Apparently the tumor was too big and for some reason the doctors weren't able to remove it entirely. They had to put dad on a transplant list, and he's staying in the hospital for the time being to receive his chemotherapy and radiation. I'm so scared that I almost can't even feel it. I'm so worried that the worrying has completely stopped and I'm just in a weird mental state. I can't even properly explain it. I have a horrible feeling of dread deep in my chest. The only thought in my mind is that this is it— dad isn't going to make it. I feel deep down that my dad is going to die. And I don't know how to deal with it. To make the visit even worse, Petunia went off at me after we left dad's room, telling me I shouldn't have brought James to the hospital and a load of other shit that was absolutely ridiculous. I don't know what it is that I've done to her to make her treat me so terribly, especially when we should be supporting each other now more than ever now that dad is so sick."_

After writing out all of my emotions, I'm suddenly overcome with exhaustion. I close my journal and put the cap on my bottle of purple ink. Within minutes, I fall asleep on top of James's comforter.

I wake up feeling wonderfully rested; after a few moments, I realize there's a warm body laying against mine. I turn over to find James laying beside me with his arm around me. His eyes are open and he doesn't appear to have been sleeping, just laying with me. He shifts closer to me and moves his hand to my hair; he runs his fingers through the length of my hair over and over, nearly lulling me back to sleep.

"How are you feeling, love?" James asks a few minutes later. I shrug my shoulders and look away, unsure of what to say.

"I wish I knew how to make you feel less sad," James says.

"You can't change things," I point out.

"I still wish I knew what to say to make you feel better."

"You do make me feel better. Just by being with me through this," I say with complete honestly. I don't know what kind of state I would be with if I didn't have James by my side right now.

"Tell me if there's anything you need from me, okay?"

"I will," I promise, and then lean forward to rest my head against James's chest. He goes back to running his fingers through my hair, sending tingles down the back of my neck. We lay together in silence for a while, and I feel a sense of peacefulness that I've been craving.

"How would you feel about meeting up with Marlene tomorrow? Sirius was writing to her today and she asked if we'd all like to get together," James says a while later.

"I guess so."

"We don't have to if you don't want to. It's up to you."

"No, I'd like to. Where did she want to meet?" I ask. I do miss my best friend, and it would be nice to get out of the house and do something with myself instead of wallowing in sorrow.

"A muggle shopping center nearby. I've never been there, but apparently there's good shopping…" James trails off. I smile against his chest— that's just the sort of place Marlene would want to go.

The next afternoon, Sirius, James, and I leave the Potter home around noon to meet Marlene for lunch at the shopping center. We apparate nearby and walk a block or so to the shopping center itself. Sirius and James are completely dumbfounded by the huge, two-story building, as well as the vast amount of muggles crowding the center. I quickly find a directory for the center and direct the two boys to the food court, which is possibly even more crowded. Marlene spots us within seconds, and runs up to hug me.

"Hey— don't I deserve to be hugged first?" asks Sirius in a pained tone. Marlene finishes squeezing me and moves onto Sirius, who she kisses passionately on the lips.

"That's more like it," says Sirius happily.

Marlene turns back to me with flushed cheeks. "You're all hungry, right? There's a great little restaurant I just love that I thought we could go to."

"Sounds good to me," I agree, smiling back at her; I try and work myself up to the level of energy Marlene is emitting.

After filling up with Cornish pasties, one of my favorite comfort foods, and having my ear talked off by Marlene and Sirius, I feel a bit more in the mood to hang out with my friends. Seconds after I've finished the last bite on my paper plate, Marlene reaches across the table and grabs my hand.

"Lily, I'm dying to show you this adorable boutique!" she squeals, and then turns to look at James and Sirius. "You two don't mind if us girls go shop for a while, do you?" she asks with a smile.

"Erm, I guess not," says Sirius with a confused look on his face.

"Great, meet up back here in an hour, then?" Marlene orders more than she asks, and kisses Sirius on the cheek before standing up. Marlene loops her arm through mine and marches me out of the crowded restaurant. Seconds later, she starts talking.

"Oh my god, Lily. Did you and James shag?!" she exclaims, giving me crazy eyes.

"What? How did you know about that?" I ask, nearly stopping in my tracks.

"Well, Sirius may have mentioned that he found you and James in bed together on Christmas morning look rather naked," she giggles.

"Sirius needs to learn how to knock," I mutter. It's not like I was planning on keeping the fact that James and I had sex a huge secret or anything— but it would have been preferable for me to tell my best friend about it on my own.

"So it's true, then?" Marlene questions me further.

"Yeah, it's true. On Christmas Eve," I admit. "And the night after, as well," I add, and can't help but smile and feel a brush crawl up the back of my neck.

"Blimey, that's so adorable, you two are meant to be!" Marlene gushes. "So, how was it? Was he sweet to you? He wasn't a complete asshole like Sirius was, was he?"

"Yes, he was very sweet. He's never an asshole," I tell her, thinking back fondly of that night.

"So, why are you so mopey, then?" she asks next, giving me a pointed look.

I look away from her and let out a sigh. I still hadn't told any of my friends that my dad was sick. And, now things were so much worse…

"My dad is sick, Marlene," I say bluntly. We stop in the middle of the shopping center. I wish we could have been in a more personal and convenient location for this kind of an announcement.

"Sick? What do you mean, sick? Sick with what?" she asks; her typically jolly and good-spirited expression slowly diminishes. I know that she knows me well enough to realize that this is serious.

"He has cancer. It's a muggle disease, and it's bad… Really bad. Things have gotten worse. He's been in the hospital…" I trail off, unable to meet Marlene's worried eyes.

"I think he's going to die," I whisper; I feel tears flooding my eyes, but I don't let them leak out.

"Oh my god, Lily, that's awful. I don't even know what to say," she says softly, pulling me into a hug. "He's been sick for a while, hasn't he? You've been acting so strange this year," she says as she envelopes me in a warm hug.

"Yeah. I found out just after we arrived back at school," I admit.

"I'm so sorry, Lily. You should have told me sooner."

x

x

x

 **James**

"Uh, what the fuck, mate? I thought Marlene wanted to get together so she could see me!" Sirius exclaims as Marlene and Lily walk away from us.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

Lily

We've only been back at Hogwarts for two days after the Christmas holiday when James and I get into our first big fight. I'm absolutely infuriated with him: I don't understand how he can act like such a child and fly off the handle at only the slightest provocation.

On my way to Potions, I hear shouting in the next corridor over and immediately recognize both of the voices: James and Snape. I break into a run. When I reach the scene, Remus is already breaking them apart.

"Stop it, both of you!" Remus yells, holding his wand out towards Snape and his opposite palm out to James. James looks like he's about to send another curse flying around Remus, but he finally puts his arm down.

"I have to give you both detentions. Tonight at seven. And if you don't show up, I'll have to go to McGonagall and you'll get a week's worth of detentions with Filch instead," he adds for good measure; I think, mostly threatening Snape.

"Screw you, Remus. I'm supervising detentions tonight!" I hiss.

"Should have told your boyfriend to have a hexing match in the hallway next week instead," he retorts.

"What even happened?!" I exclaim angrily.

"Ask James," Remus sighs. I know he hates "taking sides" between James and I, but I want the full story.

"Remus, I'm asking you—the objective one!"

"Honestly, Lily, I didn't even see Snape do anything. He and Dolohov were walking behind us, but I was talking to Sirius."

I turn to James, who has been standing a safe distance away from me with Sirius by his side.

"Well?" I ask quietly.

"Dolohov said, 'I wonder where the mudblood is', and Snape replied, 'She's supposed to be the brightest in the year, she must have finally come to her senses'," James repeats in monotone.

"So you turn around and make a scene? You can't just hex everyone who pisses you off, James. Remember what I did when Snape called me a mudblood? I walked away! I didn't start sending curses and get myself detention!"

"I don't hex everyone who pisses me off— come on, Lily, I don't even think I've ever hexed anyone other than Snape or one of his other Death Eater buddies! And I'm sorry that you refuse to stand up for yourself, but that's fine. I'll stand up to them for the both of us."

"I am perfectly capable of standing up for myself, James! The difference is, I don't let every little thing get to me like you do!"

"I'm sorry that you're fine to stand back and let them plot to take down all of the muggle borns, but I'm just not," says James; he's yelling now, and I know people must be staring.

"A rude comment in the hallway isn't anything, James! Seriously, do you know how stupid you sound? You're just making excuses for yourself— I get that you hate Snape. I don't like him either. But you can't go off looking for reasons to hex him!" I yell, and I stalk away from the scene, not saying another word to James. I ignore him completely all through Potions and skip dinner in the Great Hall.

x

x

x

x

James arrives to detention first; he chooses the desk closest to my seat at the front of the room, which is where the professor would usually sit.

"Hey, Lils," he greets me, giving me a sheepish smile. I look up from my book and raise my eyebrows at him. I don't yet have words for him.

Snape arrives a few minutes later, choosing a desk near the back of the classroom. He barely even looks at me upon entering, and immediately pulls schoolwork out of his bag. About thirty minutes into detention, James speaks up again.

"This is how we first became friends, you know. Remember?" he says; he's writing on a long piece of parchment, but talking to me.

"This is detention, Potter. That means no talking," I mutter.

"Ouch. Calling me 'Potter' now, eh?" he sniggers. I roll my eyes.

"Now that I think about it, the pissy, holier-than-thou attitude is kinda hot."

I slam my book down.

"James, will you shut up?" I hiss. Why is he doing this with Snape sitting right behind him? I wouldn't be surprised if the two of them had another full-on duel right in front of me during their detention.

"Really, though. Remember that detention? Our first detention of the school year together," he adds, as though it softens the fact that he serves far too many detentions.

"You helped me study for that exam in history and then we started studying together nearly every night," he says, staring straight at me, now. I stare back for a few seconds before picking my book back up.

"I love you, Lily," he murmurs; I glance up from the sentence I'm reading to find James still staring at me. He looks upset, this time. Or, perhaps, sorry.

"If you don't stop talking, I'm going to give you the entire week's worth of detentions," I say quietly.

"That's my Lily," he says before finally shutting up.

When the clock finally reaches eleven o'clock, I'm exhausted and can barely keep my eyes on my book. I tell Snape and James that they can go, and Snape nearly runs out of the classroom. James, unsurprisingly, packs his books and parchment and then waits for me. I walk past him on my way out of the classroom and he grabs my wrist.

"Are you really still mad at me?" he asks quietly as I turn to face him. I look at him with fury.

"James, I do not condone hexing people in the hallway, no matter who they are or what they've said to piss you off!" I yell, pulling my wrist out of his grasp.

James drops his school bag on the floor and chases me down before I can get too far. He wraps his long arm around my stomach, pulling me backwards to face him again.

"I'm sorry, Lily," he whispers, his lips pressed together in a straight line.

"You haven't yelled at me like this since… I can't even remember, since before we were even dating. A few days ago we made love together and today… you're furious at me." His expression reads frightened; I can't help but be glad.

I sigh audibly, and reach towards James to wrap my arms around his torso. When I rest my head against the center of his chest, I hear his heart beating much faster than usual. James quickly wraps his arms around me, placing one hand around my waist and the other in my hair. He bends his neck to bury his face in between my shoulder and neck; he breathes in deeply.

"And, Lily?" he murmurs, resting his cheek on top of my head. "I hear you."


	20. Chapter 20

A/N: Thank you all so much for your continued support of my story! I have a super long chapter for you guys today. Unfortunately it is in part because I will be on a trip for the next 3 weeks so I will not be posting a new chapter after this one until I get back. Don't worry, there is more to this story! Thanks for your patience. I hope you all enjoy this chapter and please leave me any feedback you have!

* * *

 _ **Chapter 20**_

 _February 14_

 _ **Lily**_

I wake up on the morning of Valentine's Day with butterflies in my stomach, but not due to the anticipation of Valentine's Day excitement. No, this year, my first Valentine's Day with James, happens to fall on a Quidditch game day; Gryffindor against Slytherin.

I hate Quidditch.

Dating the Gryffindor team's star chaser and team captain hasn't changed my feelings about the sport: in fact, it's made me hate Quidditch even more. During the first Gryffindor game of the year, I was a nervous wreck; after today, there will still be one last match where James will be flying like a madman hundreds of feet up in the air. I nearly decide that I'd be better off skipping the match entirely, but I know my paranoia would just get the better of me.

Before heading down to an early breakfast, I bundle myself up in jeans, a long sleeved shirt, and a fuzzy sweater. At the last moment, I add a warm scarf for good measure. Another thing I hate about Quidditch? That half of the season takes place during WINTER. I nearly sigh out loud when I look out the window and see a light snow falling.

James, of course, is ecstatic for a game day. He's already in the common room talking strategy with the team (and Sirius) when I walk down the girls' dormitory stairs. James is sporting half of his uniform already— the less bulky pieces, that is— so he can remind the entire school that he's the Gryffindor Quidditch captain when we go down to breakfast. James notices my entrance within seconds and ends his team meeting abruptly to come kiss me. He wraps his arms around my back and squeezes me, beginning to lift me off the ground.

"Hey!" I break away from his lips and smack him on the arm until he returns my feet to the floor.

"Happy Valentine's Day, baby," he murmurs, and begins kissing me again.

"Why is it that those two are always going at it? It's a bit disgusting, really," Sirius says in passing to the Gryffindor seeker in a purposefully loud tone.

James whips around and sends sparks flying at his best friend, whose wand is already out.

After letting the boys play for a few moments, I grab James' arm and direct his attention back to me.

"Sorry," James grins as he turns back towards me; his cheeks have begun to turn pink with excitement.

"Happy Valentine's Day," I say, hoping to redirect him to our original conversation.

"I have a surprise for you, but I want to give it to you after the game, okay?" James asks as he wraps his arms back around me.

x

x

I purposely situate myself between Sirius and Marlene in the Gryffindor stands: Marlene, for emotional support— she knows how anxious watching James play makes me— and Sirius, to explain to me what the hell is going on. I don't know how anyone can keep anything straight during a Quidditch game with a bunch of flying blurs of color whipping around the pitch. The game begins, and I instantly reach for Marlene's hand. I'm always convinced that James is just going to slip right off the end of his broom. I try and keep my eye on him, but within minutes, I've lost him in the shuffle of red and green.

Even though I'm no Quidditch expert, I can tell when the game is more aggressive than usual; this isn't exactly abnormal during a game between Gryffindor and Slytherin. The players are flying dangerously close to each other, no doubt trying to knock someone off of their broom.

"Where is James?" I ask Sirius, yelling over the commentator and the roar of the crowd.

"Over there!" yells Sirius, pointing up.

"Where?!" I yell louder. His pointing is useless.

"He's the player at the Slytherin end, he's got two Slytherins on either side," Marlene says in my ear, pointing in the same direction that Sirius was. I finally spot him.

I watch for a few moments, and I see that James has helped score Gryffindor's first goal. Almost immediately after, he scores a second. The Gryffindor section of the stadium goes wild, cheering James' name.

The various Quidditch balls start whizzing around again, and I quickly lose track of James again. A few minutes later, students from three out of four of sections of the stadium start booing and jeering at the Slytherins.

"SLYTHERIN BEATER, BAXTER, HITS THE BLUDGER DIRECTLY AT GRYFFINDOR CHASER, POTTER'S, HEAD; CLEARLY A PURPOSEFUL ACT! BUT POTTER SWERVES OUT OF THE WAY JUST IN TIME. HARRISON AND POTTER TAKE CONTROL OF THE QUAFFLE AGAIN; HARRISON SCORES! GRYFFINDOR 30, SLYTHERIN 0!"

"Is James okay?!" I shout frantically; I completely missed the incident between James and the Slytherin beater.

"He's fine! Totally missed him!"

I grip Marlene's hand tighter. I start wishing for the seeker— either seeker— to catch the snitch so this hell can be over.

Soon, Slytherin has scored a couple goals, but Gryffindor is still winning seventy to thirty. The snitch is still nowhere to be found. I feel as if we've been sitting in the stands for hours.

I ask Sirius to point James out to me again, and I'm able to keep my eye on him for a solid five minutes or so. So, I notice when one of the Slytherin beaters is going after him again.

"Sirius— what's going on? Why is that beater following James?" I yell, grabbing Sirius' arm to get his attention.

"Probably just trying to get him away from a Slytherin chaser," Sirius yells back.

The beater raises his arm just as the bludger flies towards him; he's following James from behind, so he has no time to react. James can't even see the ball coming for him. The bludger hits James before I can even say anything to Sirius or Marlene. The heavy ball hits James in the shoulder, and he flies forward towards the top of his broomstick; it looks like he's going to catch himself on the very edge of his broom, but he doesn't. I start screaming as he falls from his broom, hundreds of meters up in the air; it seems as if he's falling in slow motion, and I don't pause to think before pushing my way through the dozens of students packed into the stands, trying to make it down to the pitch to reach James.

"Lily!" Sirius yells, grabbing my wrist to try and stop me. I yank my arm away and keep going.

By the time I reach the field, Madame Pomfrey and Professor McGonagall are already rushing back towards the castle, James floating on a conjured-up stretcher between them. I continue running and quickly catch up to them, completely oblivious to anything else happening around me. As Madame Pomfrey enters the hospital with James, I watch the doors shut abruptly behind her. I reach the doorway only a few seconds later, grabbing the handle and twisting it pointlessly.

"Miss Evans, you can't go in there," Professor McGonagall says sternly.

"Blimey, Lily, you run fast for a girl," Sirius gasps, only just reaching us.

"Evans, Black; you two shouldn't even be here!" McGonagall chastises.

"Please, Professor, is he going to be okay!" I cry, tears pooling in my eyes.

"Madame Hooch caught his fall and Madame Pomfrey will take good care of him," McGonagall reassures me; her tone changes a bit when she sees my tears.

"Come on, Lily, it'll probably be a while," Sirius says gently, reaching for my arm.

"No! I'm not leaving. I want to see him the second I'm allowed," I insist, shrugging Sirius away from me.

"Okay, okay," he mutters, grasping my arm again; this time, however, he pulls me into a hug. I fall apart immediately, shaking sobbing into his jacket.

"It's okay, Lily, he's going to be fine. Shit like this happens at half of all Quidditch matches… This time it just happened to be James."

I lift my head to stare him down. "That doesn't make me feel any better, Sirius!" I roar, punching him in the shoulder.

"Okay, let me try again," Sirius says apologetically. He presses my head back to his chest, hugging me again.

"It's okay, Lily. He's going to be fine. I promise. He's in good hands with Madame Pomfrey. You heard McGonagall— Madame Hooch caught his fall."

"That was better," I whisper before a fresh batch of tears start flowing.

x

x

It's at least an hour before Madame Pomfrey finally unlocks the doors to the hospital wing. I scramble to stand up; Sirius and I have been sitting, hand in hand, on the floor against the wall opposite the door to the hospital.

"How is he?" I demand fervently, rushing to the only bed in the room with a body in it. James lays on his back, his skin ghostly pale; his eyes are closed and he almost looks as if he's in a peaceful sleep. His arm is bandaged up and wrapped in a sling.

"Bludger shattered his clavicle and humerus and cracked a few ribs. He had a bit of a rough landing, so he has a nasty concussion. Bones'll be healed in about twenty-four hours or so," Madame Pomfrey informs me rather nonchalantly.

"Sh-shattered…" I repeat, my bottom lip quivering.

"Nothing I can't mend," Madame Pomfrey insists, sounding momentarily offended.

"When will he wake up?" Sirius asks, an arm still wrapped around my shoulder for support.

"Could be anytime, now. Probably within the next four hours or so." Madame Pomfrey walks away just as the corridor starts roaring with voices. Madame Pomfrey jerks her head up and struts toward the doors of the hospital wing, ready to bark at the crowd of whom I am sure are James' teammates.

Sirius pulls a set of chairs up to James' bedside and motions for me to sit down. I lower myself into the uncomfortable wooden chair and scoot myself as close to James' bed as I can go. I gently slide my fingers underneath James' hand, almost as if he's holding my hand back. Sirius reaches for my other hand, gently rubbing my skin with his thumb.

"He'll be alright, see?" he murmurs, giving me a brief smile.

"Alright?" I repeat. "He's not even conscious," I spit out before my voice breaks.

I jump slightly when I feel a hand clamp down on my shoulder from behind. I look up to see Remus' face, and Peter's beside him. Dumbledore is strolling through the hospital wing not far behind them.

"How is he?" Remus asks. "We couldn't get through to to the corridor, McGonagall had it blocked off."

"Shattered clavicle and humerus, some cracked ribs. Concussion," Sirius informs him.

"Blimey," Peter whimpers.

"What happened out on the field? What did they do Baxter?" Sirius asks, his voice rising.

"Slytherin forfeited the game. Their team captain and Madame Hooch were going at it for ages. I don't think they had much of a choice if they didn't want Baxter kicked off the team."

"Everyone could tell he was trying to hit James," Peter pitches in.

"Good," I mutter under my breath.

I feel James' fingers quiver against mine. "James?" I murmur, dropping Sirius' hand and leaning closer to James. His eyes flutter open for a few moments, but immediately close again.

"James?" I repeat, waiting for him to look at me again. "James," I persist, squeezing his hand with both of mine.

"Madame Pomfrey!" I cry. She bustles over, Dumbledore strolling leisurely behind her.

"What now?" she snaps.

"He opened his eyes," I stammer urgently.

"He's fine, Miss Evans. Beginning to wake up from the concussion," Madame Pomfrey replies irritably.

"But— but, he opened his eyes and just closed them again," I cry out. "Why did he close them again?"

"It's part of the process, Miss Evans. I assure you that Mr Potter is well on the way to recovery. His injuries were nothing significant enough to cause me any worry."

"Perhaps a draft of calming draught for Miss Evans, Madame Pomfrey?" Dumbledore speaks up.

"No! No, I'm fine," I insist. I sit back down in my chair, only just realizing I'm standing up. Madame Pomfrey and Professor Dumbledore exchange a look, and Madame Pomfrey struts away. She returns a few moments later with a slender bronze draft of a simmering, periwinkle blue potion. I accept the cup with a shaking hand and take a small sip.

"Drink, Miss Evans," professor Dumbledore instructs calmly, although he is looking at Sirius when he says it. Dumbledore exits the hospital wing and Madame Pomfrey heads back to her office. I can't believe they aren't more concerned about James' condition, or more upset about the entire situation. Someone attacked James, and they're just getting away with it while James lies here, unconscious. I set the cup down angrily on James' bedside table.

"Lily, you've got to drink it— you're— you're… upset," Sirius stumbles over his words.

"I'm upset because James is unconscious and no one seems to care!" I yell angrily; I can feel fresh, hot tears streaming down my face.

"Of course we all care, Lily," Remus murmurs as he kneels down beside my chair. "You have every reason to be upset about the situation, but James is going to heal and be back to normal by tomorrow. Just drink the potion and give yourself some relief," he reaches across my lap for the cup, handing it back to me. I reluctantly take another sip. The three boys stare at me until I've downed the entire draft.

"Feel better?" Remus asks. I nod. He clasps my hand in his, pulling both of us up into a standing position. Almost in unison, Remus and Sirius pull me into a joined hug.

"Hey, what's going on here? Paws off my girlfriend," a groggy voice speaks up a few moments later.

"James!" I cry, turning around instantly.

"Hello, love," he says casually, as if he's not laying immobile in the hospital wing. "What happened? Did you beat me up? My Valentine's Day gift not up to par?" he grins.

"Shut up," I bend forward to stroke his messy hair and plant a kiss on his forehead.

"Baxter hit you with a bludger. Slytherin had to forfeit the game. You've got a broken clavicle and humerus," Sirius informs him.

"And several cracked ribs," I add.

"Well, shit," James grins even wider.

"Does it hurt?" I ask, my eyebrows furrowing together.

"A bit," James admits. I suspect he's in much more pain than he would ever let on.

"Let me find Madame Pomfrey," I turn to walk towards her office; James grabs my arm with the hand attached to his uninjured arm.

"It's fine, Lily. Stay with me. Come sit down," James murmurs. I cross over to the other side of his bed, where the uninjured half of his body lays. I sit down gently on the edge of the bed, afraid that too much movement will still hurt him.

"Give me a hug," James reaches towards me with his able arm.

"I don't want to hurt you," I shake my head.

"Come here," he pulls my arm again; I lean down to rest my head on his uninjured shoulder, the tip of my nose touching his neck.

Remus fetches Madame Pomfrey, who returns a few moments later with a draft of pain-relieving potion for James, for which I am grateful. I drinks it quickly— I knew he was in more pain than he was letting on.

"You lot will have to clear out, now. It's nearly after-hours," madame Pomfrey says strictly.

"Can Lily stay a bit longer, please, Madame Pomfrey?" James requests, giving madame Pomfrey a helpless expression.

"Five minutes," madame Pomfrey tuts, then turns to head back to her office.

"Later, mate," Remus says.

"We'll see you tomorrow," Sirius adds. Remus, Sirius, and Peter exit the hospital wing and head back up to Gryffindor tower.

x

x

x

x

 _ **James**_

Lily's head is still resting on my shoulder. I use my free arm to run my hand from the top of her head, down the length of her hair to her back.

"I think I've ruined Valentine's Day," I sigh. "I had a surprise for you all set up in the Room of Requirement."

"I'm just glad you're awake now," Lily murmurs.

It hits me in an instant. Injuries like this are practically commonplace in the Wizarding World. I've ended up in the hospital wing at least a dozen times over the past six years of playing Quidditch at Hogwarts. But all Lily is thinking about is her dad, comparing my body laying in a hospital bed to his.

"Do me a favor," I whisper in Lily's ear. "Pull the privacy curtain around my bed. Shut off the lamp." Lily does as I ask her, and I can't help but notice how exhausted her entire body looks. Her eyes are swollen and bloodshot from crying.

"Come back in bed with me," I murmur, scooting as close to the edge of the small twin bed as I can in order to make room for Lily. She curls up along my side. For once, she doesn't argue about breaking the rules.

"I'm okay, love. I promise. You don't have to worry anymore," I whisper as I twirl my fingers through her hair.

"I was so scared," she whimpers, hiding her face in my chest.

"I know, love," I murmur before bending my neck to kiss the top of her head. She tilts her neck up to press her lips against mine, and we kiss softly in silence for a few minutes.

"I love you so much, my Lily," I whisper. "I know we didn't have much of a first Valentine's Day together, but… Happy Valentine's Day."

"Happy Valentine's Day, James."


	21. Chapter 21

_**Chapter 21**_

 _February 18_

 _ **James**_

It happens that morning at breakfast. I've been out of the hospital for two days and my Quidditch battle scars are still healing; but, thanks to Madame Pomfrey, my broken bones all seem to be completely back to normal. Lily is half way through her English muffin when the owl post arrives; when her owl, Athena, swoops down beside her, Lily reaches eagerly for her letter, which she knows must be from her family. I glance at her, but try not to make a big fuss over the letter. As she begins reading, she stands up from the table; suddenly, she's gripping my shoulder too tightly.

"James— James, I have to go," she stammers, her voice terrified.

"Go? Go where? What's wrong, Lily?" I ask, standing up beside her. I don't get an answer, however, as Lily is already on her way towards the exit of the Great Hall at a running pace. I tear off after her.

"Lily," I call after her in the corridor. "Lily, wait! What's wrong?" I catch up to her within a matter of seconds and grab her shoulder, pulling her to a stop. She turns around and looks at me with tears running down her cheeks.

"It's Petunia— she says dad isn't doing well, that they don't know how much longer he's going to make it. I have to go, I have to leave and go to the hospital and see him," she cries; her voice sounds terrified like I've never heard it before.

"Go pack a bag, I'll go talk to McGonagall," I say, and turn around to head back to the Great Hall. I stride up to Professor McGonagall's chair at the professors' long table at the rear of the Great Hall.

"Potter, what do you need?" she asks quizzically.

"I need to talk with you in private, professor."

"What is this about, Potter?"

"Lily. Her father is sick in the hospital," I say quietly. She stands up and motions for me to follow her. We walk to a small, empty room off the side of the Great Hall.

"Is there any way she can leave and go to the hospital to see him, professor? He's been sick since September. I think… I think he's going to die," I explain.

"That can be arranged. Please have Miss Evans meet me in my office at ten thirty," she says, nodding.

"And, professor… I need to go with her," I say. "Please," I add, hoping that'll sway her. She stares at me for a few long moments before nodding again.

"Very well, Potter. Ten thirty," she agrees.

"Thank you, professor," I say sincerely, and then exit the room and run up to Gryffindor tower as quickly as I can. I dash up the stairs of the girls' dormitory; the stairs, of course, allow me to climb up them. I knock on Lily's door— I don't know if all of her friends are awake yet— and am welcomed in by a topless Marlene.

"Oi! James! What are you doing up here?" I cries, covering her chest with her arms: luckily she's already put on a (bright pink) bra.

"Is Lily up here?" I ask, pushing past Marlene and entering their room. Lily is frantically packing a bag, just as I told her to; she hardly seems to notice I'm there.

"Lily, love," I say quietly, trying to take her attention away from her packing. "Professor McGonagall will be ready for us at 10:30. We can go right to the hospital," I tell her, gently gripping her arms.

She nods, staring at me for a few seconds; her frightened expression seems to relax a bit. "We?" she clarifies.

"You and me."

"You're coming too?"

"Of course I am. You think I'd let you go alone?" I ask, cupping her cheek with my hand. Her chin quivers.

"Don't cry, love," I murmur, pressing my lips against her forehead. "Finish packing your bag and meet me in the common room, okay?" I say gently, and give her another quick kiss before heading back to my own room.

I don't notice that Marlene has followed me out until I'm halfway down the girls' dormitory steps.

"James?" she calls out, catching my attention. I stop and turn around to face her.

"Yeah?"

"You're so good to her. You know she won't talk about her dad with anyone but you," she says quietly.

"She's the most important person in my life," I shrug.

"I can tell. I can also tell that you're the most important in her life…" she trails off. "Thank you for taking care of her so well."

I nod. I don't know what to say— all I can think about is what necessities I need to pack; I hate that the thought crosses my mind, but I know I need to find a nice black outfit.

A half hour later, Lily and I are making our way to Professor McGonagall's office. She greets us at the door and announces we'll be leaving from Professor Dumbledore's office via the floo network; apparently Dumbledore's is the only fireplace in the school that is connected to the floo network system, which makes sense. I'm carrying both Lily and I's bags in one hand and gripping Lily's shaky hand in my other. Before I know it, Lily and I are standing in her living room— we had to start out here since we couldn't travel directly to the hospital via fireplace. I run up to Lily's bedroom on the second floor and drop our bags on her bed before racing back downstairs to her; we apparate immediately to the hospital.

Lily talks with the information desk in the busy hospital lobby for several minutes; Mr. Evans is in a different area of the hospital, this time. We find his room soon thereafter; luckily, Lily can navigate the confusing muggle terminology on the signs throughout the hospital with ease. I hover outside Mr. Evans' hospital door, letting Lily join her family at his bedside. When she notices I haven't followed her in, she motions for me to come.

"I'll go wait in the waiting area," I murmur in her ear.

"I need you with me," she whispers, taking my hand.

I feel a bit awkward sitting in Mr. Evans' hospital room as Lily, Petunia, and Mrs. Evans murmur their goodbyes to their father and husband. But Lily doesn't let go of my hand for one second, so I stay by her side.

Mr. Evans is hooked up to several machines; one of which, I notice, begins beeping slower and slower as time goes by. After a couple of hours, Mrs. Evans asks that Petunia and Lily leave the room.

"Daddy didn't want you to be here for this," she whispers, tears rolling down her cheeks. Petunia heads toward the waiting room, but Lily begins to protest. I pull her away, and I think she realizes that she doesn't want to be in that room anymore, and that her mother needs to be alone with her father.

The waiting room is like hell: there are only a few other people scattered throughout it, but the overall atmosphere is of dread and sorrow. I can't stand the muggle hospital.

x

x

x

x

 _ **Lily**_

The next few days are a complete blur. One thing, though, is a constant theme in my memories:

James, in my bed every night, holding me and consoling me through my tears until I fall asleep.

James, washing my hair in the shower because I feel too numb to lift my arms.

James, answering our front door when neighbors and relatives bring over casseroles and flowers.

James, making sure three meals a day are on the table for my mother, Petunia, and I.

James, digging through my closet to find a black velour skirt I haven't worn in years.

James, holding my hand from the second we step out of the car after arriving at the church and not letting go until I stand up to place a white rose on my father's casket before it is lowered into the ground.

After a full week away from Hogwarts, we have to go back. Dad would have wanted me to get back to my studies and try and live life as normally as possible. Despite our differences, I know Petunia will take care of mum in my absence. James and I are scheduled to leave via the floo network after breakfast. James waits for me in the living room while I say goodbye to my mum in the kitchen.

"He's a good boy," mum whispers in my ear as she hugs me tightly. "I like him very much. Dad would have loved to see the way he takes care of you." Her words bring tears to my eyes.

"Thank you, mummy. I love you so much," I murmur, and give her one last kiss on the cheek before turning to Petunia, who wears a scowl on her face. I give her a quick, one-armed hug that she begrudgingly returns.

"Bye, Tuney," I call as I walk out of the kitchen; I join hands with James, and we're back at Hogwarts within seconds.


	22. Chapter 22

_**A/N:**_ Oh my goodness, I am the absolute worst! I know I haven't posted a new chapter in ages, and I apologize profusely! Here's the next portion of Lily and James's story; stay tuned for more coming soon (I promise!) ~Rachelel8

* * *

 _ **Chapter 22**_

 _James_

Lily and I hide out in my dormitory for a few hours after returning to Hogwarts. Dumbledore has given Lily an additional three days before returning to her classes so she can catch up on her missed work. Lily agrees to go down to the great hall for dinner that night, even though I'm worried that all of the people and commotion will be a bit overwhelming for her. Luckily, no one presses her for information and we're able to eat in peace. That is, until we begin to head back up to the Gryffindor common room for the night.

"Lily!" I know whose voice it is without even having to turn around. Luckily, Lily somehow blocks him out; she has been operating as if in a daze.

"Take her upstairs," I hiss into Sirius' ear before turning around with my wand out.

"Potter," Snape sneers. "You can't keep her away from me forever. You don't control her."

"I'm not controlling her, you parasite. I'm protecting her from slimy grease-balls who can't seem to take no for an answer," I shoot back.

"Jealousy doesn't suit you well, Potter," Snape's lip curls into a disgusting smile of sorts.

"It's hard to be jealous of someone Lily despises," I inform him truthfully, sniggering at his confidence.

"I know her father died. She needs me right now," Snape presses on.

"Needs you? You've got to be fucking kidding me, Snivellous. You're the last thing she needs right now. I'm keeping her away from you because she doesn't need any more stress right now than she already has!"

"I was there with her every second the last time he was sick. I actually know her family and know about the disease and the toll it took on Lily. I can comfort her now better than you can."

Fury plows through me like a raging fire and I whip out my wand; before I can even think of a spell worthy of what Snape just said to me, Remus pushes my wand arm down and stares into my eyes.

"Come on, mate. You can't afford a detention right now. Do you know who can go to Lily right this second? Not him— you," he murmurs, but not so quietly that Snape can't hear his every word.

I stare Snape in the eyes for a few more seconds before turning and walking up the staircase towards Gryffindor tower.

"You're a coward, Potter!" Snape screams after me. Much to my surprise, it's Remus who pulls his wand out, this time.

"Stop embarrassing yourself, Snape. You know she wants nothing to do with you. Everyone in this bloody castle knows she's made that clear. Now, back off, before you make an even bigger fool of yourself," Remus says, calmly as ever.

x

x

x

x

Later that night, I tuck Lily into bed before heading back to my own bed. I feel utterly exhausted; I'm asleep within minutes. That is, until I'm woken up about an hour later by none other than Lily.

"Lily? What's wrong?" I ask, sitting up immediately.

Lily reaches forward and pulls back my red Gryffindor comforter, then climbs into my tiny single bed.

"I can't sleep without you," she whispers, resting her head against my chest.

"Well, we can't have that, can we?" I wrap my arms around her and kiss her hair.

"James?" she whispers a few minutes later.

"Yes, love?"

"I love you so much," she whispers, snuggling even closer to me.

"I love you, my sweet Lily," I whisper back before drifting back off to sleep.

x

x

x

x

The next afternoon, after my classes are finished, I realize I never got to give Lily her Valentine's Day present, which is still waiting for us in the Room of Requirement. I find Lily in the most private corner of the Gryffindor common room with her nose in a book.

"Hey, love," I greet her.

"Hi," she murmurs, not even taking her eyes off of the page. I grin; clearly she's already getting back to her usual self.

"I think you could use a break," I say as I snatch her schoolbook away from her.

"James!" she whines, glaring at me.

"You've been at this for hours. Am I right?"

She stares at me, unwilling to admit that I am, in fact, right.

"I never got to give you your Valentine's Day present…" I trail off, raising my eyebrows.

"Oh, fine," she grumbles, standing up and taking my hand.

x

x

x

x

 _Lily_

James and I walk in silence through the castle, along the path to the Room of Requirement that is now familiar to me. The door appears within seconds at James' command. James turns the door handle, and still holding my hand, leads me into the room. It's the same room that we usually conjure when we want to spend time together: a simple space with a warm fire and an oversized, cushy plush couch. Rose petals lead from the doorway to the windowsill that looks out onto the Hogwarts grounds.

James drops my hand and instead cups my face in his hands. He kisses me incredibly gently and slowly backs me up against the wall. His hands travel from my cheeks, down my neck, and through my hair; they move to the sides of my ribs and down my waist, and finally to the small of my back. My hands search his body, too, and finally crawl under his Hogwarts sweater to his warm skin. His kisses stop moments later.

"Sorry," her murmurs, stepping back and simply holding my hands in his.

"What's wrong?" I ask, furrowing my eyebrows together.

"Now's probably not… I mean, after what just… you probably don't want to be…" James' eyes dart to the corner of the room.

"I have a present for you," James finally puts a full sentence together. He smiles softly and strides to the window. I follow him over and find a small jewelry box sitting on the windowsill.

"For you, my love," he says, grinning, and hands me the box.

I carefully untie the blue ribbon wrapped around it and lift the lid; sitting against some tissue paper is a small silver pendant. It's a halo-setting with a round emerald in the center with a row of small diamonds surrounding it. I smile instantly.

"It's beautiful, James," I murmur, pulling it carefully out of the box to put it around my neck. "I hope you didn't spend too much on it."

"That's not for you to worry about," he teases, and takes the silver chain from my hands. I turn around and pull my hair out of the way so he can clasp it around my neck.

"When I saw it, I knew you had to have it. To match your favorite earrings and your pretty eyes," he whispers. I feel the pendant fall onto my chest, and then feel James' lips against my neck.

"Want to lay down for a while?" he asks. I nod, and we curl up on the over-sized couch together. We work our way into a spooning position; my head is nestled under James's chin, and his arms are wrapped around my waist. Within minutes, I drift off into much-needed sleep.

I wake up a while later— I'm not sure how long it's been, but I finally feel somewhat refreshed. James seems to have fallen asleep as well; I feel him stirring behind me, my back still pressed against his chest and his arms still wrapped around my torso.

"Lily," he murmurs, his lips inches away from my ear. He bends his neck to plant kisses down my cheek and throat. I turn my head to meet his lips. Almost instinctively, we adjust our bodies to face one another; I wrap my arms tightly around James's waist and hold his body tightly against mine. He kisses me slowly for several minutes before pulling away.

"Come back here," I pout, tugging on his sweater. He smiles sweetly at me, but doesn't return to my arms.

"We don't have to do this right now," he mutters, fumbling over his words.

I sit up and press my body back against his. "Isn't this our make-up Valentine's Day? Remember how you had to go and ruin real Valentine's Day by almost getting killed on the Quidditch pitch?" I remind him, a smile tugging at my lips. We begin kissing again, slowly and passionately. Before long, our school uniforms are discarded on the floor beside the couch; all that remains on my body is my beautiful Valentine's Day gift from James.


	23. Chapter 23

_A/N:_ TRIGGER WARNING: The following chapter discusses a sensitive subject that may be triggering to some readers. However, as this is such a prominent issue in society, I felt like it was something I wanted to cover in this stor Thank you to those who have continued to read this fan fic; I know my posts have slowed down quite a bit but I promise I am still slowly writing and continuing this story, and there is much more to come. Big thanks to those who have left reviews, favorited, or followed this story, and thanks for your patience! One last note: This chapter is meant to take place a little over a month after the previous chapter. XX Rachelle8

* * *

 _ **Chapter 23**_

 **Lily**

 **March 30**

I stroll the halls silently, knowing I probably won't find any students out this late at night. As soon as this thought runs through my head, I hear voices just down the corridor. I sigh, and quicken my pace, readying myself to hand out a few detentions.

"Hey— you lot— you can't be out in the corridors so late at—" I start, but I am cut off by none other than Dolohov, Carrow, and Yaxley, a group of nasty Slytherins of whom I have seen Severus sitting with on more than one occasion.

"Well, well, well," Dolohov starts, grinning at me. His tone is dark and cunning. "If it isn't Little Miss Mudblood Evans." My heart beat immediately quickens, and I wish more than anything that I had let Remus accompany on my rounds tonight.

"Dolohov— I don't want any trouble— just go back to the dungeons and don't cause a ruckus—" I say quietly, forcing myself not to let my voice shake. I'm interrupted by the cackling laughter of Yaxley and Carrow. Dolohov merely grins. I'm frozen, completely unsure of what to do to get myself out of this situation. Seconds later, Dolohov lifts his wand and points it directly at me.

"Stupify," he says quietly. I hear myself cry out as if I am out of my body, watching myself from afar. I am thrown backward, and everything goes black.

x

x

x

x

When my eyes open again, I have no idea how much time has passed, where I am, or what is going on. Almost immediately, I feel a sharp pain against my thigh— everything around me is still blurry, but I can feel the pain. I try and scream, but can't. My heart is beating faster than it's ever beaten before, and I am frozen— I can't move a muscle. As my eyes begin to focus, I see the shadows of Yaxley, Carrow, and Dolohov above me. I try and force my muscles to move, but still can't move a millimeter. I feel tears stream out of my eyes and roll down the side of my face.

A bright flash of light erupts above me, and I try and flinch— but know that my body is frozen. I hear muffled shouts and several more bursts of light before Severus' face appears before my eyes. His expression is contorted into a pained one, and I feel his hands shaking my still body. I can't tell him that I am unable to move— I don't even know if my eyelids are able to move.

It seems as if minutes go by before someone has finally broken the spell placed upon me, and I am startled by the noise around me when I've finally regained my body. I immediately cover my ears with my hands and squeeze my eyes shut. I snap my legs together, and raise them up to my chest. I still feel as if I'm in a daze- and I still have no idea what happened to me, or what Dolohov and his friends did while I wasn't conscious. Severus is still beside me, and as soon as he sees me moving again, he lifts me into his arms and holds me to his chest.

"Lily… Lily," he murmurs, his arms wrapped tightly around me. I can feel every inch of my body shaking, and I still haven't processed what is going on.

"James— James, I want James," I cry, trying to escape from Severus' hold. All of a sudden, Remus comes into view, and he holds his arms out to me. I grab his hands, and he kneels down on the floor beside me.

"Lily, it's okay now— they're gone— oh, god, Lily, I should have never left you— I'm so sorry," he says, but I barely process his words.

"James, I need James," is the only reply I can muster.

"Let me go find Professor McGonagall or Professor Dumbledore— or anybody," Remus says, beginning to stand and leave me.

"NO!" I scream, grasping his hands as tight as I can. "Just take me back to James," I plead.

"Lily, they tried… we have to tell someone what happened, they have to be punished," Remus argues, trying to reason with me. I know I'm being foolish. But I don't care— I don't want anyone else to know about this, and all I want right now is for James to be by my side so I can feel safe again.

"Remus, listen to me," I yell. "Just take me back to Gryffindor Tower, please," I wail, well aware that tears are streaming down my cheeks.

"Do what she says," Severus intervenes. I didn't realize he was still there. I begin to shiver, only just realizing that my robes and skirt are gone— I'm only wearing my sweater and underwear.

"M-My clothes," I whisper. Remus quickly reaches behind him, retrieving my skirt, which I quickly and shakily slip back into. Remus looks away, doing his best to give me privacy. When I try to stand up, I wince in pain— there's a deep, bloody gash in my thigh. Both Severus and Remus notice my reaction, and both turn their attention back to me.

"Lily— you're bleeding," Remus says. I look down— my hands and my sleeves are covered in my own blood.

"Never mind," I mutter, and deal with the pain silently as we climb the two long flights of stairs to the Gryffindor Common Room.

"You can't come in here," Remus says to Severus when we reach the doorway.

"I'm not leaving," he says coldly, glaring at Remus.

"It's the Gryffindor Common Room— you can't be here— and what place do you have in this situation in the first place? What exactly were you doing there?" Remus shoots back.

"Just stop—" I intervene, their voices adding to the pain in my head. "Just let him come in," I whisper. Remus gives the password quietly, and takes my hand to help me step through the portrait hole.

"I'll go get James," he murmurs once we're inside. I glance around, extremely thankful that everyone has already gone to bed. The second Remus is out of sight, Severus grips my wrist and begins talking.

"Lily— I'm— I don't know what they were thinking— I'm so sorry," he says, his face pained. I can't even look him in the eyes. Would they have bothered with me if Severus and I had never become friends? Would they have bothered with me if they didn't know I was a muggle born?

"They're your friends," I whisper. "They're the people you chose when you threw away our friendship," I continue, my voice growing louder.

"No— Lily, that's not how it is—" Severus argues. My blood boils with anger.

"This is your fault," I hiss, completely overcome with anger, now.

"Lily, I'm sorry," Severus replies, not even bothering to argue with me.

Before I can reply, James comes thundering down the stairs, reaching me within seconds.

"Lily," he breathes, grabbing hold of me. He wraps his arms around me and squeezes me tightly. "Lily," he repeats. "Baby, what happened, what did they do to you?" I bury my face in his chest and my tears return, flowing freely once again. Still holding me, James turns his head to face Remus.

"Moony, what the fuck happened?" he asks. Seconds later, he notices Severus.

"You— what are you doing here?" James says darkly.

"I— I found her," Severus replies quietly.

"It was your Death Eater friends who DID this to her— you bloody git, you probably had something to do with this!" James yells, releasing me from his arms and whipping out his wand.

"STUPIFY," he yells, and Severus is thrown backwards into the back of an empty couch. For once, I don't argue with James or plead him to leave Severus alone.

"I— had— nothing— to do with this!" Severus yells, standing up and retrieving his own wand.

"Stop! Stop, both of you," Remus interrupts, standing in between James and Severus.

"You—" Remus says, pointing at Severus. "Just leave— just get out." Severus begins to refuse, but realizes there's no point in fighting Remus and James. Without another word, he turns and leaves the Gryffindor Common Room. James returns to my side, wrapping his arms around me once more.

"Remus— tell me what happened," he repeats quietly, and rests his head on top of mine.

"Dolohov, Yaxley, and Carrow," Remus begins. I can feel James clench his jaw. "They— they had stunned Lily and knocked her unconscious. I got there around the same time that Snape did— they had, erm.." Remus pauses. "They had started to take off her robes," he says quietly. "If Snape or I hadn't gotten there on time…" he trails off. James' hands clench into fists, and I can feel his entire body tensing.

"Did you get Professor Dumbledore? McGonagall,— anyone?" he asks.

"No," I reply before Remus has the chance to. "Nothing happened— no one needs to know anything," I say quietly, stepping out of James' hold.

"Lily— are you insane? We have to tell them what happened— they should all be expelled," James says angrily. "I could fucking kill them," he continues, raising his hands to cover his face. No one speaks for a couple minutes. Finally, Remus breaks the silence.

"Lily… You're still bleeding," he reminds me, pointing to my leg. I glance down to see that the blood from the wound to my thigh is trickling down my calf.

"What?" James says, removing his hands from his face. He reaches down to lift my skirt, looking for the source of the blood. "Lily— they hurt you," he says, his voice pained.

"It's nothing," I murmur, tearing the end of my skirt out of James' hand.

"Lily— what do you mean it's nothing?" James says, and places his hands back over his eyes in frustration. "We have to tell Professor Dumbledore what they did— he'll make them pay, Lily— please," he says, his voice breaking.

"No," I repeat.

"Listen— let me take you guys to the room down the hall that Dumbledore has set aside for me," Remus intervenes, mainly speaking now to James. Remus turns to me and continues: "They have a small living quarters for me to stay in before and after the Full Moon— for when the aftermath of my transformation is especially bad," he fills me in. "It's just down the hall."

"Alright," I agree. I would like nothing more right now than to be away from everyone and everything, and to simply be alone with James. Silently, we leave the Gryffindor Common Room, and Remus leads us to a door just a few meters down the hall. A small portrait that I've never really noticed before guards the door; I would have always just assumed it was a random closet.

"Gibbous," Remus murmurs; this is clearly the password, as the door unlocks and swings open.

"Here— I don't come here that often, anyway," Remus says quietly. James nods silently, and gently takes my hand in his, leading me into the small room. The door shuts behind us, and we're finally alone. James strides over to the bed, sitting down on the edge, and I pause for a moment, examining this secret space. The far left corner holds the large bed and a dresser. The far right houses several empty bookshelves and a small, worn-looking couch that sits in front of a small unlit fireplace. The front of the room has a small kitchenette— a few cupboards, a sink, and a stove, as well as a small table with two chairs. Another door sits closed alongside the far wall. I glance at James— his elbows support his head, which is laying in his hands. I immediately go to his side and run my hand along his curved back. He flinches at my touch, but then wraps his arms around my waist and buries his head into my stomach. Only then do I realize that he is crying.

"James," I whisper, stroking his hair.

"Lily… Lily, I'm sorry," he sobs, his entire body shaking. "Fuck— I should be the one comforting you," he says, looking up at me. My heart breaks at the sight of his red, tear stained cheeks. I place my hands on either side of his face.

"We could comfort each other," I whisper, forcing a small smile.

James pulls me down onto the bed with him and holds me tightly in his arms. He strokes my back and kisses my head every few seconds.

"I'm so sorry, my sweet Lily," he whispers. "God, I could fucking kill those bastards— those fucking evil—" I interrupt his words with my lips, softly kissing him.

"Lily, what if they— what if Remus hadn't gotten there on time…" he trails off, fresh tears falling from his eyes.

"But, Remus did get there on time," I say. "And I was unconscious nearly the entire time," I say, hoping this will somehow reassure him. It doesn't seem to.

We hold each other for a long while. Eventually, the pain in my leg is too much for me to bear any longer.

"James," I whisper. "I'm going to go to the bathroom and clean up my leg."

"Let me—" James shoots up and starts to climb out of the bed.

"No—" I insist, a bit too loudly. "I— I'm fine." I walk slowly into the bathroom at the rear of the large room. I close the door and stand in front of the full-length mirror, just staring at myself for a few moments. I look down at my thigh; blood has dripped nearly to my ankle. It has all dried and crusted against my skin.

Noticing a clawfoot tub in the corner of the bathroom, I turn on the faucet with trembling hands, and hot, steaming water begins to fill the large tub. There are several faucets, similar to the ones in the bathrooms the Prefects and Head Boys and Girls share. I turn one on, and purple bubbles begin to fill the tub, as well. I undress and climb in. The cut on my thigh stings as it hits the soapy water. I sit with my legs pulled up to my chest as the water rises around me. A few minutes later, James enters the bathroom, wearing only his boxers.

"Can I join you?" he asks quietly, gently placing a hand on my head. I nod in reply. I watch him as he slips out of his boxers, admiring his thin, muscular body. James slips into the tub behind me and I lean back against his chest. He wraps his arms around my stomach and pulls me close to him. We lay in the tub together for over an hour; James takes turns stroking nearly every inch of my skin under the water, nearly lulling me to sleep.

x

x

x

x

 **James**

As I hold Lily's wet, naked body against mine, I try everything I can to try and convince myself not to kill Dolohov, Carrow, and Yaxley; not to go to Dumbledore first thing in the morning and report them. That this isn't my fault. I feel worthless; as Lily's boyfriend, I should have been able to prevent this, somehow. Somehow it feels as if it's my fault.

I bend my neck to peek at Lily's sullen face; her eyes are drooping.

"Time for bed, love," I whisper in her ear. She sits up slowly, and I climb out of the tub, dripping water all over the bare tile floor. I open a cupboard by the sink and find dozens of plush towels. I wrap one around my waist and take another back to Lily, who is now laying on her back in the water. I pause for a second, admiring her figure in the remnants of the purple bubbles that have nearly disappeared.

Lily sits up, and what seems like half of the water in the tub flows off of her long, sopping wet red hair. I reach for her hand and help her stand up, then wrap her up in a towel. We walk back to the bed, and I run a second towel through her hair until it begins to curl up again.

"We don't have any pyjamas," Lily points out as she pulls the red and gold comforter down.

"I can go get some," I offer quickly.

"No," Lily says. She shrugs off her towel and climbs under the covers; I follow suit, dropping my towel to the floor and slipping under the covers beside Lily. I press my body against her back and pull her into my arms. We spoon for a long time, and I think she's already fallen asleep when she speaks up again.

"James?" she whispers in the darkness.

"Yes, my love?"

"Make love with me," she murmurs, turning her neck so our noses meet.

"Not tonight, love."

"Why not?" she asks, her voice raising.

"Just let me hold you," I murmur, kissing her hair. She obliges. I lay awake for a long time, for what seems like hours, holding a sleeping Lily against me.


	24. Chapter 24

_**Chapter 24**_

 **Lily**

I wake up after a dreamless and peaceful slumber in James's arms. James is already awake, staring down at me.

"Good morning, sweetheart," he whispers. "Did you sleep okay?"

I nod against his chest.

"I'll go back and get us some fresh clothes," he says, then begins to pull away from me to get out of bed. I grip him tighter, forcing him back against the pillows.

"Not yet," I moan, closing my eyes and pressing my face back against his warm, bare chest.

"We don't have long before Defense Against the Dark Arts," he reminds me a few minutes later. Begrudgingly, I let him up. He sits on the edge of the bed before standing up, just staring at me.

"Are you okay, Lily?" he asks quietly. I nod.

"You don't have to go to class today," he points out.

"I want to," I say softly.

"Are you sure you're okay?" he repeats, reaching out to stroke my hair. I nod again, trying to force a smile for him.

x

x

x

x

 **James**

I throw on the pants and plain shirt that I had been wearing last night before heading back to the Gryffindor Common Room to fetch a set of fresh clothes for both Lily and I; it's later than either of us would usually be getting up, so the Common Room is fairly full of students. I spot Frank and Alice and ask Alice to get me a set of fresh robes for Lily. She doesn't ask for explanation; Lily spends the night in my bed often enough that my request doesn't phase her. After she returns, I head up to my own dorm, where I find Remus, Sirius, and Peter.

"Prongs, what the fuck happened last night?" Sirius questions me the second I step through the door. "Moony came up yelling for you and then you disappear?"

"I didn't tell him anything… I thought you would prefer to tell him yourself," Remus interrupts. I'm not surprised; Remus was undoubtedly thinking of Lily's privacy. My anger over last night's events bubbles back to the surface.

"Lily was with Remus on rounds last night, but they split up… when he found her again, Carrow, Yaxley, Dolohov, and Snape were surrounding Lily on the ground," I start. "Lily… they stupefied her… her skirt and her robes were on the floor," I choke out.

"They didn't… rape her?" Sirius looks ashen.

I shake my head no.

"Snape and I both got there around the same time— he tried to stop the other three… I think she had only been knocked unconscious for a few minutes or so. I was only separated from her for about ten minutes," Remus picks up where I've left off. "I should never have gone off on my own, James," he looks up at me. "I feel awful. I'm so sorry."

"It's not your fault— this is a bloody school, she should be safe here. If it weren't for all of his followers, those death eaters, she wouldn't be a target," I say angrily.

"I could kill them," growls Sirius. "How dare they— to our Lily—"

"What do you think I've been trying to stop myself from doing all night?" I shoot back, irritably. "Lily wouldn't even let us report it to McGonagall." I start to get dressed; I have to get back to Lily so she has time to get breakfast before our first class.

"Look, I have to go— but don't say anything to her about this, any of you," I give each of my friends a serious look.

"Of course not, mate," Remus murmurs.

x

x

x

x

 **Lily**

I try to go about my day as normally as possible. I still feel shaken up, but I try to tell myself that things could have been worse. The three boys who attacked me could have gone further. I try to convince myself that because they didn't have the chance to violate me any further that I should try and get past it.

After my second class of the morning, Ancient Runes, I'm on my way to the Great Hall when Marlene yells my name down the corridor. I turn around to find her racing down the hall towards me.

"Lily— Sirius and James are in the hospital wing—"she gasps for air. "They got into a duel with a bunch of Slytherins and half of them ended up in the hospital."

"What?!" I shriek. "Please tell me you're joking!"

"Lily, I'm serious. And I want to know why it happened," she narrows her eyebrows. "I saw the whole thing— Sirius spotted Carrow and Snape in the corridor and went berserk. He started shouting at them and said if they ever laid a finger on you again that he'd murder them. And then a couple other Slytherins nosed their way in, and before I knew it, Sirius, James, Remus, and Frank were all dueling with them!"

I stare at her for a few moments, speechless.

"What was Sirius talking about, Lily? What did they do that pissed off my boyfriend enough that he got himself landed in the hospital?" Marlene presses.

Blinking back tears, I tell her the events that unfolded last night. Marlene is shocked.

"Lily, you have to report them to Professor McGonagall— you'd be crazy not to!" she shouts.

"Marlene, I don't want to make this a bigger deal than it has to," I hiss, trying to keep my voice down. "Nothing happened, they never even got to my underwear before Severus got there…" I trail off.

"That doesn't mean a thing! If no one had shown up, what would have happened?! You know what they would have done to you!" Marlene cries.

"Listen, this is what I want— I don't want to have to explain every detail to Professor McGonagall. I just want to forget this happened and move on," I try and explain.

"I want to go see James," I insist, stopping her from protesting my wishes any further.

"Fine," she grumbles. "But I still think you're making a mistake, Lily."

x

x

In the infirmary, the curtains have been strategically pulled to hide each of the occupied beds from sight; each bed, that is, except for Sirius's. Professors Dumbledore and McGonagall are by his bedside; no one looks happy. I stop in my tracks and nearly turn around and run back to my dormitory to hide. What if Sirius told them why he started a duel in the middle of the school day? Marlene grips my hand and stays glued to my side while we hover in the doorway, waiting for the professors to finish talking with Sirius.

Professor McGonagall leaves first, with an infuriated expression on her face. She hardly glances at Marlene and me. Dumbledore stands up next, rising slowly and turning to face me, as if he already knew I was standing in the doorway.

"Miss Evans," he nods in greeting. He strolls slowly towards Marlene and me. "Would you be so kind as to join me in my office?" he asks, both surprising and frightening me.

"Erm— yes, sir," I agree softly. I look around his shoulder, looking pointlessly for James, even though he's hidden by white curtains.

"I'm sure Mr. Potter will be available to visit you when we are done," Professor Dumbledore adds. I nod, and follow him out of the hospital wing.

"Drooble's," Professor Dumbledore murmurs when we reach the entrance to his office. I follow him silently up the staircase until we reach his desk; I sit across from him and wait.

"I am under the impression that the incident between your friends and some of the Slytherin boys had something to do with you, miss Evans," Dumbledore begins, raising his eyebrows. "Now, you don't have to tell me exactly what happened. But if you should wish to divulge that information, both myself and Professor McGonagall are at your disposal."

I nod.

"I know that the students do not always notice my presence around the castle; however, I keep a close eye on the goings-on of Hogwarts. I have taken particular interest in you and Mr Potter over the past few months, miss Evans. I believe that the two of you may be of great use to me. I'm sure you are aware of the current climate outside the walls of Hogwarts in the wizarding world. A certain wizard is quickly coming to power and his supporters grow in number every day. I am well aware that his beliefs have infiltrated the castle walls and that several students here will join his side when the school year ends. Because of your actions over the past few months, I believe that you and Mr Potter may be interested in joining a group whose mission is to infiltrate and defeat the man who refers to himself as Lord Voldemort. I understand that this might take some consideration on your part before you give me a final decision. Feel free to include Mr Potter in the information I have given you tonight; and, if either of you have any questions, you may come straight to me."

I stare into the professor's eyes for a few silent moments.

"There's no need to wait, Professor," I say shakily. "We'll join you. Just tell us how, when and where; James and I want to be a part of it."


End file.
